RCIA candidate ignores sponsor

[quiet52]

I have an RCIA candidate who received very little eduation in the faith prior to joining RCIA. He has missed far more sessions than he has attended, but the pastor wants him to go ahead with Confirmation and First Communion. His sponsor attended a couple of the classes, but the candidate basically has made himself unavailable by phone and e-mail, and does not respond to messages. He hasn’t talked to his sponsor for months. He is unaffected by what I have explained to him about the sponsor’s role during the past several months. He is not dissatisfied with the sponsor and has not asked for anyone else, he is simply indifferent about the role of his sponsor. The pastor is aware of this.

Please don’t comment that this candidate might not be truly “ready” for the sacraments because that part is out of my hands. But I would appreciate some advice from RCIA leaders or sponsors as to what to say to the sponsor, other than his candidate needs his prayers.

 

[puzzleannie]

thank the sponsor for his service and remind him that even if the candidate seems unappreciative now, someday he will come to be grateful as well that another Catholic cared enough to be there for him at this time. No you cannot go against what the priest says, which is why I always refer these difficult cases to him. Share with the sponsor the parable of the Sower, and remind him that you and the catechist also have to learn to deal with these situations and find comfort in Christ’s example here.

 

[Spirithound]

I would articulate to the sponsor his obligation according to Canon 892, and suggest that if he has “failed” in this regard, perhaps he should withdraw his sponsorship in favour of someone more worthy of the role…

Can. 892 [T]he sponsor is to take care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfills the obligations inherent in this sacrament.

Of course I’m not actually blaming the sponsor. If his obligation has gone unfilfilled, it is clearly not his fault here.

 

[paperwight66]

As I understand it, it is the candidate who has ‘failed’, in that they haven’t returned messages.

I can understand the sponsor concluding that he was flogging a dead horse. Besides, there might have been something going on in the sponsor’s life that took priority over chasing up messages- illness, a death, or so on.

Perhaps the sponsor should have brought the situation to the attention of the pastor. But I really think the candidate should have shown more commitment if he is genuine in his wish to be received at the moment.

 

[laszlo]

The judge with authority is the pastor, not the sponsor.

I have an RCIA candidate who received very little eduation in the faith prior to joining RCIA. He has missed far more sessions than he has attended, but the pastor wants him to go ahead with Confirmation and First Communion. His sponsor attended a couple of the classes, but the candidate basically has made himself unavailable by phone and e-mail, and does not respond to messages. He hasn’t talked to his sponsor for months. He is unaffected by what I have explained to him about the sponsor’s role during the past several months. He is not dissatisfied with the sponsor and has not asked for anyone else, he is simply indifferent about the role of his sponsor. The pastor is aware of this.

Please don’t comment that this candidate might not be truly “ready” for the sacraments because that part is out of my hands. But I would appreciate some advice from RCIA leaders or sponsors as to what to say to the sponsor, other than his candidate needs his prayers.

 

[Jesus_123]

+God tenderly calls and schools individual souls in many different ways . . . prayer for the soul entrusted to the class, catechist, sponsor and priest will never go unanswered by our **Wonderful Lord **. . . and prayerfully entrusting the soul of this student to the Lord and His priest may be all that can be done at this time . . . *trusting God’s grace to continue the conversion of this soul . . . *

:bible1:
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Dear Lord+
. . . Sacred Heart of Jesus+
. . . have mercy+​

 

[quiet52]

thank the sponsor for his service and remind him that even if the candidate seems unappreciative now, someday he will come to be grateful as well that another Catholic cared enough to be there for him at this time. No you cannot go against what the priest says, which is why I always refer these difficult cases to him. Share with the sponsor the parable of the Sower, and remind him that you and the catechist also have to learn to deal with these situations and find comfort in Christ’s example here.

I appreciate this and all the responses. I will remember this advice about using the parable of the Sower.

The sponsor has made sound efforts to be involved with the candidate and cannot be faulted for the candidate’s lack of genuine commitment (this is in response to a different post).

 

[Spirithound]

The sponsor has made sound efforts to be involved with the candidate and cannot be faulted for the candidate’s lack of genuine commitment (this is in response to a different post).

My point was that the sponsor can back out.

 

[Catherine_k]

Not to be repettive, but this is failure (or rather a basic lack of consideration and maturity) on the part of the candidate. Please remind the sponsor that you appreciated his efforts and dilligence… and that you regret that the candidate was inconsiderate.

Having gone through RCIA many years ago, I only now appreciate my sponsor and how much she gave of herself to be with me throughout the process. And in no way did I treat my sponsor the way this sponsor has been treated.

Sponsors deserve much appreciation and respect… they give of themselves in faith and kindness. Its truly unfortunate that this candidate didn’t understand the depth of the gift he spurned.