Rcia co habitation

[angird]

Im not sure if this is the appropritate place to put this question but i will give it a try. I am currently sponsoring my best friend as she comes into the church. I only have one concern, she currently is co- habitating with her boyfriend, and their child. is this going to be a impediment to her coming into the church ? what are the possible solutions ? She has her first reconcilliation on thursday, should she confess this, she is afraid that if she does they will not let her enter the church. She thinks its unfair because people baptized as children can basically co habitate and still be catholic.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

 

[ProdglArchitect]

Im not sure if this is the appropritate place to put this question but i will give it a try. I am currently sponsoring my best friend as she comes into the church. I only have one concern, she currently is co- habitating with her boyfriend, and their child. is this going to be a impediment to her coming into the church ? what are the possible solutions ? She has her first reconcilliation on thursday, should she confess this, she is afraid that if she does they will not let her enter the church. She thinks its unfair because people baptized as children can basically co habitate and still be catholic.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

She’s a little bit misdirected. People who are baptized Catholic can cohabitate, but they can’t do so while still remaining Catholics in good standing. She’s confusing people doing it with the Church saying it’s okay.

If she is willing to live as brother and sister with her boyfriend until they are married then it shouldn’t present a major impediment, but it would be better for everyone involved if they would find separate living arrangements.

Regardless, she should confess this, especially if they’ve been sexually active.

 

[Dorothy]

Im not sure if this is the appropritate place to put this question but i will give it a try. I am currently sponsoring my best friend as she comes into the church. I only have one concern, she currently is co- habitating with her boyfriend, and their child. is this going to be a impediment to her coming into the church ? what are the possible solutions ? She has her first reconcilliation on thursday, should she confess this, she is afraid that if she does they will not let her enter the church. She thinks its unfair because people baptized as children can basically co habitate and still be catholic.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

She needs to confess the mortal sins she is living in, and not live with her boyfriend until she is validly married. To do otherwise would be sacrilege. She needs to tell the truth.

Catholics who commit fornication are in serious sin, until they repent and go to confession.

It would be very good if she spoke to the priest about this before Thursday.

The Lord loves us infinitely, desires our repentance, and is waiting with open arms for us to come back.

May this be corrected according to the Lord’s way, and then they will all be blessed richly.

 

[Joe_5859]

Im not sure if this is the appropritate place to put this question but i will give it a try. I am currently sponsoring my best friend as she comes into the church. I only have one concern, she currently is co- habitating with her boyfriend, and their child. is this going to be a impediment to her coming into the church ? what are the possible solutions ? She has her first reconcilliation on thursday, should she confess this, she is afraid that if she does they will not let her enter the church. She thinks its unfair because people baptized as children can basically co habitate and still be catholic.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

As others have said, she would need to bring it up in Confession. To deliberately withhold such a sin would invalidate the sacrament and prevent her from receiving forgiveness. If she does bring it up in Confession, she should know that the seal of the sacrament is absolute and the priest would not be able to act on any information she reveals in Confession. So she wouldn’t get booted out of RCIA by bringing this up during Confession.

That being said, you should encourage her to bring it up to the priest outside of Confession. RCIA isn’t about tricking the priest by telling him what he wants to hear so that you can make it into the Church by any means necessary. It’s about conversion. The priest should be aware of her situation so he can help her. If she has reservations about Catholic moral teaching on sexual ethics, that should be addressed. That way she will have the opportunity to come to understand and embrace Catholic teaching rather that attempting to gloss over it.

Priests are used to handling these situations. She needn’t be afraid of bringing it up. I’m a bit surprised she was able to go this long without revealing this.

 

[vallancec]

I agree she should meet with a priest as soon as possible.

 

[Usige]

As others said, if she doesn’t confess it then she invalidates her confession. The biggest problem for her is if she intents to maintain a sexual relationship without getting married. If she intended to live in continence until she and her boyfriend married then she would simply need to confess fornication. If she then “accidentally” had sex before being received, she would have to go back to confession before receiving the sacraments. On the other hand if she does confess it without intent to amend it also invalidates her confession. That means that she would be in danger of sacrilege where she to receive the Eucharist and Confirmation in that state.

All of this should have been discussed more than a few weeks before Easter. Generally we try addressing any irregular living situations in the first couple months just to avoid these exact situations.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

If she doesn’t confess it, she will be adding another sin to those she’s willing to confess. She knows it’s wrong to cohabitate. She shouldn’t start her life as a Catholic with a lie, or with a sin.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

As others said, if she doesn’t confess it then she invalidates her confession. The biggest problem for her is if she intents to maintain a sexual relationship without getting married. If she intended to live in continence until she and her boyfriend married then she would simply need to confess fornication. If she then “accidentally” had sex before being received, she would have to go back to confession before receiving the sacraments. On the other hand if she does confess it without intent to amend it also invalidates her confession. That means that she would be in danger of sacrilege where she to receive the Eucharist and Confirmation in that state.

All of this should have been discussed more than a few weeks before Easter. Generally we try addressing any irregular living situations in the first couple months just to avoid these exact situations.

Great advice!

 

[marlap2]

One of the hardest things to do as an RCIA facilitator or helper, and one of the most important - You have to be honest, you have to tell the truth, and you have to be loving and charitable within the context of the truth.
These are difficult times we live in.

Please pray for all the RCIA facilitators. Our charism calls us to truly love and journey with these people, and at the same time, introduce truths that may not be taken easily.

Last week I brought up a few of these truths in the context of a teaching on social sin. (sin that is not necessarily of our own doing, but sin that we cannot be ***complicit ***in (such as abortion, abuse of the poor through poor wages, etc). Our pastor was sitting in on the class (YES!!!) So during the question period, one of the people asked the priest, “Do we really have to confess these things” “Well, yes, they are sins, so YES you have to confess them.”

Hooray!

 

[PJM]

Im not sure if this is the appropritate place to put this question but i will give it a try. I am currently sponsoring my best friend as she comes into the church. I only have one concern, she currently is co- habitating with her boyfriend, and their child. is this going to be a impediment to her coming into the church ? what are the possible solutions ? She has her first reconcilliation on thursday, should she confess this, she is afraid that if she does they will not let her enter the church. She thinks its unfair because people baptized as children can basically co habitate and still be catholic.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

TALK TO YOUR PASTOR & please do it ASAP

This is really important

God Bless you,

Patrick