RCIA/conversion questions--please help!

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Hi everyone, I’m currently a member of a United Methodist congregation, but I believe strongly that God is calling me home to the Catholic Church! I’ve done a lot of reading about the Church, Church history, etc., and I’m starting RCIA tomorrow at the parish of a good friend if mine. I’m very excited. I do have some questions though:
  1. My family and I are very active in our current protestant church, and the people there have been wonderful. I have many friends there, and have grown a lot in my faith there. Honestly, I’m not becoming Catholic because of a dislike of this protestant church, but out of a newfound and profound belief that the Catholic Church is the Church Christ founded. How do I tell and explain my intent to convert to my friends and pastor there? Any tips from other Protestant converts?
  2. Before I made up my mind to convert, I made a commitment at this protestant church to sing in the church’s Christmas cantata, performed in early December. They really needed singers, and I’d feel guilty if I couldn’t honor the commitment, but is this problematic from the standpoint of the Church? Rehearsals do not interfere with going to mass on Sundays.
  3. We have three children, ages 5 (6 in October), 3, and 9 months. My 5 and 3 year olds have been quite active in our current church, with Sunday school and vbs and children’s church, etc., especially the 5 year old. I’m not too concerned about transitioning the younger ones, but any suggestions for how to explain this change to my 5 year old? I know she’ll miss Sunday school, and I’m not sure yet if the new parish will allow her to go to catechism classes there ( I see that they started earlier this month, you have to register, can only miss 5 classes, etc.). I just want to make the transition as smooth as possible!
    Thanks very much!
 
In answer to question #2; I don’t see any reason why you could not sing in the Christmas program while attending RCIA. I would just let the pastor of the other church know that you are in the process of becoming a Catholic Christian. If the pastor has no problem with it, and it does not conflict with your schedule, honor your commitment.
 
Well, I converted to Catholicism from the United Methodist Church, but I don’t know how much help I can be for you. I got nothing but support for my decision from the Methodist community I had been a part of, partially no doubt because I was very young (in college) and they thought it was great that I was becoming a committed adult Christian, no matter what church I attended. I suppose my main advice for speaking with Protestants about this would be to stay focused on what you find positive about the Catholic Church, not anything you find unsatisfactory about the UMC.

You might get some different responses on this, but personally I don’t see anything wrong with your participating in this Christmas cantata, as long as you don’t receive Methodist communion anymore. Actually from a canon law standpoint you might not even be forbidden from receiving Protestant communion yet, but I would certainly advise against it now that you share the beliefs of the Catholic Church on the subject. Likewise it is my understanding that the obligation to attend mass on Sundays and on Holy Days of Obligation like Christmas does not kick in until one is formally received into the Catholic Church. At least this is what I was told when I was in RCIA, but we were strongly encouraged to attend mass anyway.

Not being a parent I have no idea about the children. I would think five years is still young enough to just tell her you will be attending a different church from now on because God is calling you there. I would hope that the regular rules regarding catechism classes would have exceptions for new families just joining the parish.
 
(1) Simply, and using the language you used here. Just say “I’ve enjoyed my time here, but I feel God is calling me to the Catholic church. Would you like to get together for coffee sometime?”

(2) Shouldn’t be a problem, so long as you are sure to attend Mass. It’s not like we don’t celebrate Christmas!

(3) Call up the person in charge and ask. Even if you’re only supposed to miss a certain number, they might be willing to make an exception since you’re converting. Might also note for the older ones that they get to go to the same service as the grown-ups the whole time now!

A final note: I presume all the children have Methodist baptisms? I would be sure to collect their baptismal records as well as your own, so they can be recorded.
 
DarkLight said:
(1) Simply, and using the language you used here. Just say “I’ve enjoyed my time here, but I feel God is calling me to the Catholic church. Would you like to get together for coffee sometime?”

(2) Shouldn’t be a problem, so long as you are sure to attend Mass. It’s not like we don’t celebrate Christmas!

(3) Call up the person in charge and ask. Even if you’re only supposed to miss a certain number, they might be willing to make an exception since you’re converting. Might also note for the older ones that they get to go to the same service as the grown-ups the whole time now!

A final note: I presume all the children have Methodist baptisms? I would be sure to collect their baptismal records as well as your own, so they can be recorded.
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That’s a good idea about baptisms, and I’ll add this. Traditionally there has been nothing questionable about Methodist baptisms, but I’ve attended some in which questionable formulae were used, such as “I baptize you ______ in the name of God who loves you, Jesus who died for you, and the Spirit who sanctifies you” or something along those lines. If something of the sort occurred for these baptisms definitely talk to your new priest about it. Conditional baptisms might be needed. Same goes for your own baptism actually. They will probably ask for a record of it before you receive Confirmation and First Communion.
 
Aelred_Minor said:
Well, I converted to Catholicism from the United Methodist Church, but I don’t know how much help I can be for you. I got nothing but support for my decision from the Methodist community I had been a part of, partially no doubt because I was very young (in college) and they thought it was great that I was becoming a committed adult Christian, no matter what church I attended. I suppose my main advice for speaking with Protestants about this would be to stay focused on what you find positive about the Catholic Church, not anything you find unsatisfactory about the UMC.

You might get some different responses on this, but personally I don’t see anything wrong with your participating in this Christmas cantata, as long as you don’t receive Methodist communion anymore. Actually from a canon law standpoint you might not even be forbidden from receiving Protestant communion yet, but I would certainly advise against it now that you share the beliefs of the Catholic Church on the subject. Likewise it is my understanding that the obligation to attend mass on Sundays and on Holy Days of Obligation like Christmas does not kick in until one is formally received into the Catholic Church. At least this is what I was told when I was in RCIA, but we were strongly encouraged to attend mass anyway.

Not being a parent I have no idea about the children. I would think five years is still young enough to just tell her you will be attending a different church from now on because God is calling you there. I would hope that the regular rules regarding catechism classes would have exceptions for new families just joining the parish.
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Most Catholic Churches have Pre-school classes if you daughter isn’t yet old enough to start CCD. I think you should do the Christmas program as you have already committed to that. Try to keep things as peaceful and friendly with you former pastor as possible. There should be no hard feelings, your not giving up all you’ve learned, just growing in your Faith. Maybe you could agree to discuss what you are learning with him so that might dispel some false beliefs about the Catholic Church for him. Just don’t compromise what you are learning in RCIA. Is your wife Catholic or is she taking RCIA with you? Talk to those in charge of RCIA to help you with your decisions.
God Bless and Prayers for your journey. Memaw
 
mls9q said:
Hi everyone, I’m currently a member of a United Methodist congregation, but I believe strongly that God is calling me home to the Catholic Church! I’ve done a lot of reading about the Church, Church history, etc., and I’m starting RCIA tomorrow at the parish of a good friend if mine. I’m very excited. I do have some questions though:
  1. My family and I are very active in our current protestant church, and the people there have been wonderful. I have many friends there, and have grown a lot in my faith there. Honestly, I’m not becoming Catholic because of a dislike of this protestant church, but out of a newfound and profound belief that the Catholic Church is the Church Christ founded. How do I tell and explain my intent to convert to my friends and pastor there? Any tips from other Protestant converts?
  2. Before I made up my mind to convert, I made a commitment at this protestant church to sing in the church’s Christmas cantata, performed in early December. They really needed singers, and I’d feel guilty if I couldn’t honor the commitment, but is this problematic from the standpoint of the Church? Rehearsals do not interfere with going to mass on Sundays.
  3. We have three children, ages 5 (6 in October), 3, and 9 months. My 5 and 3 year olds have been quite active in our current church, with Sunday school and vbs and children’s church, etc., especially the 5 year old. I’m not too concerned about transitioning the younger ones, but any suggestions for how to explain this change to my 5 year old? I know she’ll miss Sunday school, and I’m not sure yet if the new parish will allow her to go to catechism classes there ( I see that they started earlier this month, you have to register, can only miss 5 classes, etc.). I just want to make the transition as smooth as possible!
    Thanks very much!
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I would just explain things as you have here. As to honoring your promise, perhaps your pastor will tell you it might not be a good idea. However, I would talk it over with the pastor of the Catholic Church you are attending and do as he suggests. As far as the kiddies are concerned I would stop sending them to Sunday School since that would conflict with your new faith committment. If you can’t get the five year old into religious ed classes, wait until next year, you can take her Mass with you and explain things on your own. There are bound to be a few bumps, but persevere, people are doing it every year and do just fine.

Linus2nd
 
There are far more formidable denominations to leave. 😃 I don’t have children and I don’t sing, so I will just mention some thoughts about question 1.

I did not convert from the Methodist denomination, but I did have some contacts there. When I was in the process of becoming Catholic, a Methodist friend was teaching a series of short classes on comparative religion in her church and she asked if I would come as a guest to her class on Catholicism (probably not a great stunt for recent converts to take, but oh well, it’s done now). There was some polite discussion afterward and a variety of viewpoints were represented. They seemed to have a great deal of tolerance toward the Catholic church. Even the couple who thought that Catholicism was blasphemous was very polite and stayed late to make friendly conversation.

As far as explaining things to people in general…when I became Catholic, I was suddenly in the spotlight, and in a way it can be scary because I may be the only Catholic that some people know and that’s a lot of responsibility! I am not naturally tactful and compassionate, so when people ask me about my conversion or my faith, I imagine that I am pulling Mary’s or Jesus’ cloak around me, because I want to respond to them with love and wisdom without getting defensive. By doing this, I feel like I am asking for their help and love for the other person, and also reminding myself to respond as gently and gracefully as possible.
🤷
 
mls9q said:
Hi everyone, I’m currently a member of a United Methodist congregation, but I believe strongly that God is calling me home to the Catholic Church! I’ve done a lot of reading about the Church, Church history, etc., and I’m starting RCIA tomorrow at the parish of a good friend if mine. I’m very excited. I do have some questions though:
  1. My family and I are very active in our current protestant church, and the people there have been wonderful. I have many friends there, and have grown a lot in my faith there. Honestly, I’m not becoming Catholic because of a dislike of this protestant church, but out of a newfound and profound belief that the Catholic Church is the Church Christ founded. How do I tell and explain my intent to convert to my friends and pastor there? Any tips from other Protestant converts?
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Just tell them that God is calling you to become a Catholic. Mention all of the good things that have happened to you in that community, and thank them for those good things. Make sure they know that you are still open to being friends with them.
  1. Before I made up my mind to convert, I made a commitment at this protestant church to sing in the church’s Christmas cantata, performed in early December. They really needed singers, and I’d feel guilty if I couldn’t honor the commitment, but is this problematic from the standpoint of the Church? Rehearsals do not interfere with going to mass on Sundays.
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It would be kind of nice to go out on a musical note … 🙂
  1. We have three children, ages 5 (6 in October), 3, and 9 months. My 5 and 3 year olds have been quite active in our current church, with Sunday school and vbs and children’s church, etc., especially the 5 year old. I’m not too concerned about transitioning the younger ones, but any suggestions for how to explain this change to my 5 year old?
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Just tell her that God is asking your family to change Churches, and that she will get to meet lots of new friends at her new Church.
I know she’ll miss Sunday school, and I’m not sure yet if the new parish will allow her to go to catechism classes there ( I see that they started earlier this month, you have to register, can only miss 5 classes, etc.). I just want to make the transition as smooth as possible!
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Talk to the coordinator of the program - it’s possible that something can be worked out. If not, there’s always next year. 🙂
 
I would like to reply to the first question as I was in a very similar position about 5 years ago. While I was born and raised Catholic, I walked away from the Catholic Church in college. (I had a very poor understanding of my faith so I didn’t run away from the Catholic Church, I strolled.) I attended a Lutheran Church for a couple years, and then mostly Assemblies of God for about another 20 years. Then, being driven internally for something deeper in faith, my wife and I attended the local Methodist Church. There was a large number of “Ex-Catholics” in that Church, so I felt comfortable. The Methodist Church offered a stronger foundation to faith, and worship, and living the faith. After about two years though, I was feeling the hunger for more depth spiritually. This is what led me back to the Catholic Church. As I mentioned before, I was poorly catechised, so I attended our local RCIA. As I attended every week, I began to realize that this is what I was being led to. (Thank you, Holy Spirit!!!)

I wanted to say that to encourage you on your journey. Keep in mind that you have not signed a contract. This is not a pressure sale. You are seeking the truth, or at least the source of where you are more likely to find the WHOLE truth.

Now to answer your question about how you respond to the Pastor at your Methodist Church, or any other member of the Church. First of all, if your experience was similar to mine, I was with people who loved the Lord with their whole heart. The Pastor was a tremendous God-fearing man who had a tremendous ability to lead others to grow in their relationship with the Lord. I had and still have the utmost respect for them. I also grew tremendously in my years at that Church. My time there was and remains to be a period of growth for me in my faith journey. (In fact, I led a men’s study group which was attended by the Pastor and several mature Christian men in the Church.)

In my discussions with my Pastor and close friends, I explained that I was being led to an even deeper relationship with, knowledge of, and love of the Lord. I cherished all that I received and gave to the Methodist Church, and I was being led further. I needed to investigate the Catholic Church and see if that is where I was being led.

I was indeed being led there. I am not saying this is the right place for you. That is between you and our Heavenly Father.

May the Peace of Christ be with you as you discern where the Holy Spirit is leading you. God loves us, and wants us to love Him. He will let you know if you are open to listening. Like the prophets, you have to enable yourself to HEAR what the Lord is saying.

God Bless You in this Journey,
My prayers are with you,
Ron
 
I should have added that everything that I got from and in every way I grew from my participation with the Methodist Church is a part of me and I take it with me where ever I go. Those experiences and the relationships with the God-loving people that I was honored to have are still a part of me, to be cherished. I thank God for them and that they allowed me to be a part of their lives/journey.

Ron
 
Thank you all so much for the replies! I really appreciate them. I’ve been lurking on these forums for a while, and I’m convinced they represent an amazing faith community.

To answer a few questions: yes, the children and I are all baptized Methodist. I have their certificates but need to work on finding mine. My husband is a baptized Lutheran, comes to church with me now but is frankly agnostic at best at this time 😦 Please pray for him. He is, however, supportive of this move, and says he’ll come to mass with me and the kids, for which I am thankful.

I have definitely been blessed by my years in the UMC, and much of its Wesleyan theology has actually led me down this spiritual path! I will try to make sure that my pastor and friends there know how much I respect their faith while still moving forward on this journey. Thank you for your prayers!
 
mls9q said:
My husband is a baptized Lutheran, comes to church with me now but is frankly agnostic at best at this time 😦 Please pray for him. He is, however, supportive of this move, and says he’ll come to mass with me and the kids, for which I am thankful.
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My husband of 35 years has called himself agnostic all the time I’ve known him, having walked away from the Baptist church when he was a teenager. Then he dropped a bomb on me totally out of the blue on August 8 – he said he was ready to join the Catholic Church and what did he need to do. THAT is the power of prayer. So keep on praying, darlin’ !
 
Hoo(name removed by moderator)mie said:
My husband of 35 years has called himself agnostic all the time I’ve known him, having walked away from the Baptist church when he was a teenager. Then he dropped a bomb on me totally out of the blue on August 8 – he said he was ready to join the Catholic Church and what did he need to do. THAT is the power of prayer. So keep on praying, darlin’ !
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For sure!!! God Bless, Memaw
 
=mls9q;11250322]Hi everyone, I’m currently a member of a United Methodist congregation, but I believe strongly that God is calling me home to the Catholic Church! I’ve done a lot of reading about the Church, Church history, etc., and I’m starting RCIA tomorrow at the parish of a good friend if mine. I’m very excited. I do have some questions though:
  1. My family and I are very active in our current protestant church, and the people there have been wonderful. I have many friends there, and have grown a lot in my faith there. Honestly, I’m not becoming Catholic because of a dislike of this protestant church, but out of a newfound and profound belief that the Catholic Church is the Church Christ founded. How do I tell and explain my intent to convert to my friends and pastor there? Any tips from other Protestant converts?
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Honesty and charity:)

Exlplain that you “feel drawen by the Holy Spirit” and feel obligated in your conscience to at least check it out. He should accept that.
  1. Before I made up my mind to convert, I made a commitment at this protestant church to sing in the church’s Christmas cantata, performed in early December. They really needed singers, and I’d feel guilty if I couldn’t honor the commitment, but is this problematic from the standpoint of the Church? Rehearsals do not interfere with going to mass on Sundays.
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IMO: So long as your not yet a MEMBER of the CC [woun’t be until Easter], you could opt to still do this. I WOULD discuss this with your RCIA TEAM [privately] AND with your present Pastor to get their feelings on this issue. So LONG as you do NOT receive “communion” in the process; I see to REAL issues from a catholic persepective.

If you need to know why just ask me.
  1. We have three children, ages 5 (6 in October), 3, and 9 months. My 5 and 3 year olds have been quite active in our current church, with Sunday school and vbs and children’s church, etc., especially the 5 year old. I’m not too concerned about transitioning the younger ones, but any suggestions for how to explain this change to my 5 year old? I know she’ll miss Sunday school, and I’m not sure yet if the new parish will allow her to go to catechism classes there ( I see that they started earlier this month, you have to register, can only miss 5 classes, etc.). I just want to make the transition as smooth as possible!
    Thanks very much!
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FYI: I taught for 30+ years graded 4 through HS and RCIA. I see no issues in your kinds at ANY POINT being able to attend CCD Classes. Ought NOT to be an issue.

As to how to explain it> maybe this would work *

Exlpain it as “finding something “new” and BETTER” And That God helped yo to “find it.”👍.

What is your wifes position on these happenings?

We are delighted to be of help. Please let us know if you have other questions,

Patrick [PJM] here on CAF*
 
mls9q said:
  1. How do I tell and explain my intent to convert to my friends and pastor there? Any tips from other Protestant converts?
  2. Before I made up my mind to convert, I made a commitment at this protestant church to sing in the church’s Christmas cantata, performed in early December. They really needed singers, and I’d feel guilty if I couldn’t honor the commitment, but is this problematic from the standpoint of the Church? Rehearsals do not interfere with going to mass on Sundays.
  3. We have three children, ages 5 (6 in October), 3, and 9 months.
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  1. Be honest about your spiritual journey. I wasn’t in a church when I decided to convert, so I didn’t have that issue to worry about. Personally, I felt that I was in a good place when one of our close Catholic friends asked me why I wanted to convert and, subsequently, gave his approval to my reasoning.
  2. Honor your commitment. Everyone enjoys a great Christmas concert and not all of us are blessed with singing talent. It’s a sign of good character.
  3. I can see where you’d be worried about the older one. I have one about that age. Explain in language that they’d understand that we are going to a new church (have you found a good parish yet?) and that things will be different than what they are used to. (I don’t know much about the Methodists, but I’m sure you can fill in the gaps about weekly communion/kneeling, etc.) I was a Baptist and Baptists don’t kneel and we don’t do communion every week, for example.
Kids are pretty resilient and will make friends wherever they are. Just a fair warning, it will be hard to teach them the mass while you are learning it too (and making sure they aren’t acting crazy in the pew!) Most parishes have a nursery or preschool. I found it easier to learn the mass when I wasn’t focusing on keeping my son in line, so I put him in the nursery.

Also, most parishes have a “children’s liturgy of the word” where the older kids who don’t go to catechism class on Sunday morning do a simpler gospel lesson away from the adults. My son loves it. Some kids stay for the regular homily. Your older one could definitely do the children’s liturgy if they aren’t in a catechism class. In our parish, it’s technically supposed to be for Grade 1 and higher, but they take the 4 and 5 year olds as well. The “Grade 1” thing isn’t enforced, at all.
 
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