RCIA/Obtaining document for annulment

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Hi, I am not sure this is the right place for this inquiry. I apologize if this is off-topic to this forum, but I’m hopeful that those experienced in RCIA here might be able to help me.

I am interested in learning more about the Catholic faith and have been working with the RCIA director and a Deacon at the parish I have been attending as a non-Catholic for about six months - I am looking forward to beginning RCIA in the fall. My husband and I have been married nearly twenty years, he does not want to join the Catholic church but is supportive of my wish to explore this faith to see if it is right for me. Where I’m running into problems is with his first marriage. I understand this marriage needs to be annulled before I could fully join the church. I have been informed by the marriage tribunal of my Archdiocese that the annulment will be the “lack of form” type since my husband’s first wife was Catholic.

While I understand the doctrine of the church regarding marriage, it is very frustrating to me that I have never been married before and I still have to deal with his ex-wife after nearly twenty years. The tribunal has told me that I will have to provide proof of his ex-wife’s Catholic faith by obtaining a copy of her baptismal certificate. Contacting her is out of the question, even if we could find her. All I was able to find is a marriage announcement in a newspaper online from her first marriage, which was at a Catholic church, so this is my “lead” to getting the necessary documentation. I said a little prayer and contacted this church, explaining the situation and what I require, but they have yet to respond.

Do I have any reasonable expectation that this church in another state might provide a perfect stranger the ex-wife’s sacramental records? I can’t help but feel that this information should be passed between the church where the ex-wife first married and the tribunal, leaving me out of it. It’s a very awkward situation. I feel like an innocent in all this, having no religion and not knowing twenty years ago that marrying my husband would cause me problems in finding my faith at this stage of my life. I have considered giving up several times in the last week, but it would break my heart not to pursue something I’ve felt drawn to for so long.

If anyone has wisdom or experience to share with me, I am listening with an open mind and heart.

Kind regards,
Tingzen
 
I am no expert on this, but I would say yes, the marriage tribunal should help you pursue this documentation.
 
I’m in a very similar situation. My fiance is not a Catholic, has no intention of becoming one, and he is previously married. I have never been married. He has to have his first marriage annulled by the Church in order for he and I to marry.

We received a lot of direction from my Parish Pastor, who also happened to be (at the time) the head of the Office of Tribunal in our Archdiocese. The gist that I got is you provide the requested information to the very best of your ability and the Tribunal will take it from there. You will want to follow up routinely. My Pastor suggested following up every 3 months, he said that gets your case shuffled to the top of the pile and forces someone to look at it.

If the ex-wife remarried, it’s always possible she herself pursued a declaration of nullity and it’s already done and your husband just isn’t aware of it, perhaps because she did not know how to tell the Church to contact him.
 
Tingzen said:
Hi, I am not sure this is the right place for this inquiry. I apologize if this is off-topic to this forum, but I’m hopeful that those experienced in RCIA here might be able to help me.

I am interested in learning more about the Catholic faith and have been working with the RCIA director and a Deacon at the parish I have been attending as a non-Catholic for about six months - I am looking forward to beginning RCIA in the fall. My husband and I have been married nearly twenty years, he does not want to join the Catholic church but is supportive of my wish to explore this faith to see if it is right for me. Where I’m running into problems is with his first marriage. I understand this marriage needs to be annulled before I could fully join the church. I have been informed by the marriage tribunal of my Archdiocese that the annulment will be the **“lack of form” **type since my husband’s first wife was Catholic.

While I understand the doctrine of the church regarding marriage, it is very frustrating to me that I have never been married before and I still have to deal with his ex-wife after nearly twenty years. The tribunal has told me that I will have to provide proof of his ex-wife’s Catholic faith by obtaining a copy of her baptismal certificate. Contacting her is out of the question, even if we could find her. All I was able to find is a marriage announcement in a newspaper online from her first marriage, which was at a Catholic church, so this is my “lead” to getting the necessary documentation. I said a little prayer and contacted this church, explaining the situation and what I require, but they have yet to respond.

Kind regards,
Tingzen
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Lack of form, but they were married in the Catholic Church? :confused:

Is this first marriage for her, the one to your current husband?

This is really something that the tribunal will help with. I would try to get all of the information I could, then go back to them.
 
Whomever is your advocate should request the forms.
They will arrive faster…Pastor to Pastor.
Good luck!
 
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, you gave me strength. I just wanted to share the amazing outcome of this. I feel now, even more than before, that God wants me on this path and I am meant to become Catholic.

I finally heard back from the out-of-state parish today, I was told that they searched but it appears they didn’t keep very good records in the 60s. I was out running errands when I read the email from them, and was absolutely crushed. I ended up driving to my parish since it wasn’t far. It just seemed like the right thing to do. My plan was to go inside and see if the deacon who has been helping me was there, to see what to do next. As soon as I pulled up, I had an overwhelming sense that a way would be found, and I should not give up and walk away. I decided to not bother the deacon and head home.

When I got home, I opened my email to send a “thanks for trying” response to the bad news, and there was another email with “GOOD NEWS” in the subject line. Apparently, the faith formation director at the out-of-state parish was determined that there had to be more records, somewhere. She ended up searching one of their storage sheds, where she found ALL the documentation for the ex-wife’s wedding in 1965, including the needed baptismal certificate! Apparently the marriage had not been entered in their records, but they still had all the paperwork. Then, my phone rings, and it’s the priest from the out-of-state parish calling me personally to make sure I had the good news. I ended up talking to him for a good half an hour, he was curious about the story behind all this. My husband will send him a written request for the documentation, and then he will send my husband what is needed for the annulment.

I am so grateful to God today for this. I truly believe the Holy Spirit whispered something in this woman’s ear that gave her the idea to look in storage and find the paperwork.
 
Excellent news!

I struggled for several years getting my annulment. If you hit snags, don’t panic! It happens. You may start to get bitter. That’s normal. Hang in there!
 
Tingzen said:
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, you gave me strength. I just wanted to share the amazing outcome of this. I feel now, even more than before, that God wants me on this path and I am meant to become Catholic.

I finally heard back from the out-of-state parish today, I was told that they searched but it appears they didn’t keep very good records in the 60s. I was out running errands when I read the email from them, and was absolutely crushed. I ended up driving to my parish since it wasn’t far. It just seemed like the right thing to do. My plan was to go inside and see if the deacon who has been helping me was there, to see what to do next. As soon as I pulled up, I had an overwhelming sense that a way would be found, and I should not give up and walk away. I decided to not bother the deacon and head home.

When I got home, I opened my email to send a “thanks for trying” response to the bad news, and there was another email with “GOOD NEWS” in the subject line. Apparently, the faith formation director at the out-of-state parish was determined that there had to be more records, somewhere. She ended up searching one of their storage sheds, where she found ALL the documentation for the ex-wife’s wedding in 1965, including the needed baptismal certificate! Apparently the marriage had not been entered in their records, but they still had all the paperwork. Then, my phone rings, and it’s the priest from the out-of-state parish calling me personally to make sure I had the good news. I ended up talking to him for a good half an hour, he was curious about the story behind all this. My husband will send him a written request for the documentation, and then he will send my husband what is needed for the annulment.

I am so grateful to God today for this. I truly believe the Holy Spirit whispered something in this woman’s ear that gave her the idea to look in storage and find the paperwork.
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You have a hard workin guardian angel! LOL Congratulations on the good news. :angel1:
 
I’m not sure how good this news is. If the paperwork and records show that your husband was, in fact, married in the Catholic church. 🤷
 
Thankfully, he knows he wasn’t. He married her at a justice of the peace. It was her first marriage that was in the Catholic Church. I’m fortunate to have a wonderful deacon at my parish who is helping me understand everything and make sure we’re getting the right information to the tribunal. Unless the tribunal finds something we’re all unaware of, I should be good to go from here. Worst case scenario, we find out the ex formally left the church prior to her marriage with my husband, and then lack of form won’t apply and we’ll have to switch to a standard annulment. I pray this won’t be the case, but if it is, we’ll make it through that.
 
Tingzen said:
Thankfully, he knows he wasn’t. He married her at a justice of the peace. It was her first marriage that was in the Catholic Church. I’m fortunate to have a wonderful deacon at my parish who is helping me understand everything and make sure we’re getting the right information to the tribunal. Unless the tribunal finds something we’re all unaware of, I should be good to go from here. Worst case scenario, we find out the ex formally left the church prior to her marriage with my husband, and then lack of form won’t apply and we’ll have to switch to a standard annulment. I pray this won’t be the case, but if it is, we’ll make it through that.
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A) I seriously doubt that. She would have had to write the bishop and he would have had to accept the defection, in writing, and note it in the sacramental record.

B). Even if by some one in a zillion fluke she actually had defected, she married validly in the Catholic Church, therefore this would be a Ligamen case, impediment of prior bond.

So she did not marry your husband validly because she was already married to someone else, and she did not marry in Catholic form. Double whammy.
 
In my instance with my fiance, despite the fact that he was married to a Mormon and by a Mormon bishop, his marriage is recognized as valid by the Church because he is not a Catholic. Had he been Catholic, it would have vastly simplified things because his marriage would not have been valid. Regardless, we’re working through the annulment process and hope to have his annulment finalized by November, God willing. His situation didn’t prevent me from joining the Church at Easter because we are not married, but it has prevented us from getting married, so I’ll be relieved when it’s finally behind us.
 
I just wanted to share the outcome of all this, in case anybody else searching the forums might find it useful. It took several months, but I was able to get paperwork from a parish in Florida that provided the location of the parish where my husband’s first wife was baptized. Since the tribunal wanted an original certificate of baptism less than six months old, the deacon of my parish contacted them and had the official baptismal certificate in a matter of weeks. My husband signed the paperwork and the deacon put the seal on them, and we mailed them off to the marriage tribunal in late October. We received the official annulment decree a week ago. My RCIA leader commented that the annulment was “extremely quick”; we’re assuming that the “new rules” for annulment issued in September sped things up a bit. I’m so glad this is behind me, and I can continue in RCIA toward my own baptism and confirmation this Easter.

Thanks again to everyone who commented for your support and encouragement.

Tingzen
 
Tingzen said:
My husband signed the paperwork and the deacon put the seal on them, and we mailed them off to the marriage tribunal in late October. We received the official annulment decree a week ago.
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Congratulations!
Tingzen said:
My RCIA leader commented that the annulment was “extremely quick”;
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I’m surprised your RCIA leader would make that comment. This was a lack of form, basically proving his freedom to marry you. It is NOT a decree of nullity. There was nothing to declare null. It is not a formal case at the tribunal. It is administrative paperwork only. Lack of form routinely takes just a couple of weeks.

Or it was possibly Ligamen, which is also an abbreviated process if all the paperwork is in place,
Tingzen said:
we’re assuming that the “new rules” for annulment issued in September sped things up a bit.
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I would not make that assumption in this case. As I mentioned, it is not a decree of nullity, but instead a recognition of his freedom to have married you.

If the streamlined process where in place, that paperwork would have been handled by your pastor, rather than the diocese (as it already is in many parts of Europe).
 
Tingzen said:
I just wanted to share the outcome of all this, in case anybody else searching the forums might find it useful. It took several months, but I was able to get paperwork from a parish in Florida that provided the location of the parish where my husband’s first wife was baptized. Since the tribunal wanted an original certificate of baptism less than six months old, the deacon of my parish contacted them and had the official baptismal certificate in a matter of weeks. My husband signed the paperwork and the deacon put the seal on them, and we mailed them off to the marriage tribunal in late October. We received the official annulment decree a week ago. My RCIA leader commented that the annulment was “extremely quick”; we’re assuming that the “new rules” for annulment issued in September sped things up a bit. I’m so glad this is behind me, and I can continue in RCIA toward my own baptism and confirmation this Easter.

Thanks again to everyone who commented for your support and encouragement.

Tingzen
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Congratulations! I’m an advocate for marriage cases in my parish. It’s nice to hear when things work out for folks.
 
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