Rcia Problems

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Am I being prejudiced? It just seems to me that over the last six months whenever a question arises on the Forum about deviant RCIA teachings it involves a woman teacher/director. One year in our parish we had a DRE who was an ex-nun, angry with the Church who mis-represented Catholic Teaching to our local school board and in meetings with the local Ministerial Association. I don’t have any idea about possible damage to our RFP program. Fortunately after one year she was gone either by her own volition or the Pastors push, I don’t know which. Are we beset with women who are angry with the Church for one reason or another who feel called to stay in and preach their own version of the Faith? Any examples of men who are pulling the same stunts?
This is what set me off.
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Jew_Man_73
Senior Member Join Date: April 5, 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 660

Theological Dilemma, Please Help!
Hi everyone,

Over the past two months, I have become aware of some things that are going on in my parish. Just to let everyone know where I come from, I’m a recent convert from Reform Judaism. I’m currently in RCIA.

My main concern is the fact that we have a gay couple in our parish. This couple is sexually active, and very open about themselves. Furthermore, they are gay rights activists. They are very active in the “gay marriage” movement. This couple belongs to a gay men’s chorus (no affiliation with the church) and they had a performance a few weeks ago. Several members of the church choir went. I was asked if I wanted to buy a ticket, but I declined.

The choir director is fully aware of them, but allowed them on the choir anyway. She has made it clear that she disapproves of their relationship, but feels that she would be unloving if she didn’t allow them on the choir. The priest and RCIA director are also aware of them, as is the nun. This couple is allowed to receive Communion every Sunday, which I have been told by some devout acquaintances of mine is against the teachings of the Church.

In addition, one of these men is a lector, and appears before the congregation on a regular basis in this capacity. These two men constantly joke around in a vulgar, sexual manner, making all kinds of gay sex jokes. They do this all the time in front of the choir members, and have done it to me as well. Several times now they have made crude sexual jokes to me. One of them also has made it a bit obvious that he finds me attractive.

I have spoken to my choir director about this, and she became angry at me. She admitted that she knows what the Church teaches, but disagrees with it. She said that the fact that these men are not denied Communion shows that this parish is a loving parish, and not “traditional, hard-nosed, and cold-hearted.” Furthermore, it has come to my attention that she has been talking about me behind my back, in relation to this issue.

I have been told that this is a “Judas parish”, and that I should leave it. What is a “Judas parish?” I would also like to let everyone know that in spite of these experiences, I have met many devout, orthodox, loving Catholics at this parish, and have befriended them. I have to admit I feel torn. On one hand, I’m sick of this and want to leave. On the other, I don’t want to leave the good, devout friends I’ve met there.

There are also other issues that I’ve discovered at this parish. I have learned from a couple of devout acqaintances that my RCIA director ahs been teaching me things that contradict official Church doctrine. For example, she has taught me that everyone is saved, regardless of what their religion is (Buddhism, Shinto, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, etc). She said all that is required for salvation is that you follow your particular religion faithfully. Also, she has taught me that Hell does not exist. Only Heaven and Purgatory. There are other examples, but I’ll leave them out in the interest of space.

If I have posted this on the wrong forum, I apologize. The moderators can feel free to move this to whatever forum is appropriate.

By the way, I’ve been praying about this. Anyone who has any insight, please help. Thanks!
 
I believe coincidence. I think because there are simply more women in charge of these ministries, the odds are that when you get a horror story, it will be a woman at the center. I don’t see anything that would suggest that men are somehow more immune to flakiness.

Scott
 
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rwoehmke:
Am I being prejudiced? It just seems to me that over the last six months whenever a question arises on the Forum about deviant RCIA teachings it involves a woman teacher/director. One year in our parish we had a DRE who was an ex-nun, angry with the Church who mis-represented Catholic Teaching to our local school board and in meetings with the local Ministerial Association. I don’t have any idea about possible damage to our RFP program. Fortunately after one year she was gone either by her own volition or the Pastors push, I don’t know which. Are we beset with women who are angry with the Church for one reason or another who feel called to stay in and preach their own version of the Faith? Any examples of men who are pulling the same stunts? . . .
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I think over 90% of the RCIA directors are women. I am the only man directing RCIA in this area. I will be replaced by a woman next year because she was the only replacement I could find, and I can’t keep going.
 
Maybe all the men got fed up with people on all sides finding fault with everything they do, and gave up. Or maybe women are just more willing or able to volunteer their services for a big committment like this.
 
When I went through RCIA in 1992 the director was one of the deacons at our church-- he was orthodox.

About 2 years later, he moved and the Adult Ed director took over. She’s a woman-- also orthodox.

I don’t think it has anything to do with women versus men.
 
What is happening at your church is NOT good. They are, basically, teaching heresy. I strongly suggest you find another church. Gay relationships are just plain wrong. Sinful. In fact, a mortal sin. By accepting these two as they are is just as bad. And no one has the right to tell you that you are the one who is wrong. If nothing else, talk with your pastor. If he doesn’t know what’s going on, he should. If he DOES know, and has done nothing, then the matter is all the worse.
 
Our RCIA director and our choir director are both women and they’re both great! I’ve never had any complaint with either of them. 😃

I think it’s mostly coincidence, but I have seen some people here who would really like to see women taken out of these and other positions, including lector and cantor. Personally, I think that would be a great loss. However, it makes sense to me to screen everyone, male or female, who wants a public or semi-public position in the Church to make sure they’re teaching things right.
 
Like the others, I also think that it is just a coincidence. Several years ago we had a Dutch priest who was the director of RCIA. Among his many heterodox beliefs, the one that really topped the cake was his belief that Jesus did not rise from the dead. He has since been removed from the position and has been defrocked for heresy.
 
as a woman who is acting as a catechetical leader (not DRE, I am not yet certified) in a large parish, I think it is coincidence. for one thing, I can only think of about 5 men in our diocese filling this position. for another thing a large majority of Catholic women my age (boomers who came of age in the 60s) were in high school or college during the years when the first (very mistaken wrong-headed interpretations) of some of the V2 innovations were implemented. those years have left a mark and either we left the Church completely, or remained as nominal Catholics but “following our own conscience” on issues like ABC and abortion. Those who stayed either found a comfort zone in being professional dissenters, or if we were very lucky and open to conversion, heard the truth at some point and responded to it. For me it happend at Steubenville when I went for my catechist certification. Others may follow a different route.

There was huge push in the 70s and 80s toward “lay involvement” and “lay ministry” and a lot of Catholics were out-and-out lied to about what that really means. Many of us who in all sincerity responded to that call were taught that we should vie with the hierarchy for leadership, decision-making, as if our part-time volunteer work or even paid positions qualified us to put our 2 cents worth in along with all the cardinals whose life work and study was theology and the Church.

It came very hard when the pendulum swung the other way, a more conservative pastor or bishop took over, “heads rolled” and people with some degree of power and influence were threatened with losing it.

Lot of dynamics going on. Some of these crises would have happened within convent or monastery walls in another era, where many strong independent minded women ended up, but in today’s church climate are played out in the parish setting.
 
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