RCIA process possible in less than a year?

[dcsells]

Hi – this is my first post on any of these forums. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 1.5 years, and she has expressed an interest in joining the Catholic Church, in which I was born and raised. She was born and raised Southern Baptist and still has strong beliefs that come from growing up in an evangelical Protestant family (which I admire – she certainly knows a lot more about the Bible than I do). Nevertheless, she knows that being Catholic is very important to me (as in, necessary before getting married), and she’s been attending Mass with me for over a year and has started to come around, for which I’m thankful, as I’ve been praying a lot about it.

The issue now is that we inquired at the church we’ve been attending about their RCIA program. We were told that at the earliest, she could be admitted into the church at Easter 2011. Which left us both… disappointed. I know there’s a process involved, and that she should learn about the church and its teachings before fully accepting it (indeed, I’d like to attend with her and learn more about my faith as well). But Easter 2011 is a LONG time away. It’s not like she’s starting from scratch – she’s already baptized, is very knowledgeable about the Bible, and already has a strong personal conviction in the Lord and Christ. We’re not trying to “short-cut” the RCIA process by any means. But surely for someone in her position there must be a way to joining the Catholic Church that does not involve a 1.5-year-long process, no? I was actually kind of hoping she could be admitted in Easter 2010, or maybe somewhat afterwards – but Easter 2011 is what we’ve been told. And that’s just, well, a little deflating.

I’ve emailed with the RCIA coordinator at the church and she seems pretty set on what she has told us. Should we “shop around” for other church’s RCIA programs? Go over the coordinator’s head and talk to the priest at the church? Look into “private tutoring” RCIA sessions that might get her back on schedule for this coming Easter? I’m really at a loss, and I would appreciate hearing from others. We’re in the Washington, DC area, if that makes any difference. Thanks.

 

[fdesales]

The issue now is that we inquired at the church we’ve been attending about their RCIA program. We were told that at the earliest, she could be admitted into the church at Easter 2011. Which left us both… disappointed. I know there’s a process involved, and that she should learn about the church and its teachings before fully accepting it (indeed, I’d like to attend with her and learn more about my faith as well). But Easter 2011 is a LONG time away. It’s not like she’s starting from scratch – she’s already baptized, is very knowledgeable about the Bible, and already has a strong personal conviction in the Lord and Christ. We’re not trying to “short-cut” the RCIA process by any means. But surely for someone in her position there must be a way to joining the Catholic Church that does not involve a 1.5-year-long process, no? I was actually kind of hoping she could be admitted in Easter 2010, or maybe somewhat afterwards – but Easter 2011 is what we’ve been told. And that’s just, well, a little deflating.

I’ve emailed with the RCIA coordinator at the church and she seems pretty set on what she has told us. Should we “shop around” for other church’s RCIA programs? Go over the coordinator’s head and talk to the priest at the church? Look into “private tutoring” RCIA sessions that might get her back on schedule for this coming Easter? I’m really at a loss, and I would appreciate hearing from others. We’re in the Washington, DC area, if that makes any difference. Thanks.

This is always a heart-rending decision for me, telling people they have to wait until next year. However, we try to work with people, especially if they already have a strong Christian background. The Rite book does not necessitate that one go through the process AT ALL, IF they already are strong practising Christians. The only thing that is required is some personal instruction on Catholic particularities. If the RCIA coordinator refuses, and the priest backs up the coordinator’s decision (because he is too busy to do it himself, generally), go to another parish. The Church has decided to open the doors to such Christians to be received as soon as possible, you don’t even have to wait until Easter 2010!!!

If you want, I can give you paragraph citations of this, if you insist on trying the RCIA coordinator at this parish again. However, I would like to leave you with one caveat…

It may be prudent to wait - not necessarily until 2011 - because it must be your girlfriend’s decision, not your prompting her or pressuring her. Time will clarify this, which would be the argument AGAINST a quicker admittance. The time it takes for private instruction to be conducted should be be a good amount of time to figure out, for her, whether this is the right thing to do.

I would be interested in hearing her reasoning, if she refused AFTER what I am now telling you.

Let me know if I can help further,

fdesales, RCIA Coordinator

 

[ctkrcia]

I agree with dcssells. I am the RCIA director at my parish in Central Texas. My “general” rule of thumb is that if someone shows up by the Rite of Election, they can join the current year program. This year, that falls on Nov 15 - 2.5 months into the program.

I couple this with one-on-one “faith chats” with all the students. If I feel they are not ready to move forward, I will ask them to not participate in the sacraments. This could be for a number of reasons - lack of understanding, joining for the wrong reason (i.e. for someone else and not for themselves), lack of attendance, etc.

One of the most difficult things to say is that someone is too late for this year’s class. However, my pastor has made exceptions for extreme circumstances and granted them private instructions with a deacon. We are blessed with three deacons, so it gets spread around. I recommend visiting with your pastor. This may be going around the director, but the action sounds justified, given your situation.

Before approaching him to ask for private instructions, your girlfriend needs to be sure she is fairly certain she is willing to convert. It is never 100% until the sacraments are administered, but she needs to be on more than an inquiry phase. If that is where she is, then see if you two can attend this year’s RCIA classes, knowing that you will not be able to participate fully in the Holy Saturday liturgies. The problem with that could be that RCIA is a “building” process where one class can build on the lessons taught in earlier classes. Joining in the middle of that could make her feel lost and even more confused than educated.

My hope and prayer is that you two will find Christ together and make Him the center of your lives!

Peace,
Jeff

 

[dcsells]

Thanks to you both for your helpful and informative answers. I am very, very grateful, as this whole process is fairly mysterious and a little intimidating (and that’s just from my standpoint – imagine my girlfriend’s!)

fdesales: I would appreciate the paragraph citations you referred to. I am a lawyer and always like to back up my positions with some sort of basis I will also look into other parishes, although we really like this church. Is it strange/unusual to do RCIA at one parish but belong to and celebrate Mass at another?

Also, I am very much aware that it needs to be her decision. I wouldn’t want her to do anything just because I wanted it; it’s her decision as guided by God, and all I can do is pray about it. I think what we both would most like right now is someone actually welcoming us in and explaining things to us; the RCIA coordinator I’ve been emailing with has seemed a little standoffish. We’re fine with taking our time and doing things at the right speed – I think it’s that pushing everything back to Easter 2011, just because we were a little bit late to the game, is a difficult proposition.

ctkrcia: thanks as well for your insight. That is our hope and prayer, too; please keep praying for us!

 

[fdesales]

Thanks to you both for your helpful and informative answers. I am very, very grateful, as this whole process is fairly mysterious and a little intimidating (and that’s just from my standpoint – imagine my girlfriend’s!)

fdesales: I would appreciate the paragraph citations you referred to. I am a lawyer and always like to back up my positions with some sort of basis I will also look into other parishes, although we really like this church. Is it strange/unusual to do RCIA at one parish but belong to and celebrate Mass at another?

I’ll get you the citation by the end of the day, I am at work.

It is not unusual to go to another parish for the RCIA. I sometimes tell people to go to our sister parish because they cannot come on Thursday nights (when we do it) but they are free Sunday nights (when they do it). We had several people from a smaller church with us when they did not have an RCIA coordinator to do the work. I am sure their are other reasons why one would go to a different parish. As such, there is no requirement to go to YOUR parish, although hopefully, you can ask politely with the info you are receiving. As a lawyer, know that Canon Law is quite different than American tort law and precedence tying the hands of the judge in the US. Canon Law is based upon the European system, Italy, etc. (not England!). This should give you an idea how much more flexible Canon Law is when compared to our own legal system. Imagine that, the Catholic Canon Law is less strict and more flexible than the US legal system. Who would have thunk it!

Also, I am very much aware that it needs to be her decision. I wouldn’t want her to do anything just because I wanted it; it’s her decision as guided by God, and all I can do is pray about it. I think what we both would most like right now is someone actually welcoming us in and explaining things to us; the RCIA coordinator I’ve been emailing with has seemed a little standoffish. We’re fine with taking our time and doing things at the right speed – I think it’s that pushing everything back to Easter 2011, just because we were a little bit late to the game, is a difficult proposition.

If you have further questions, you can private mail me from this forum, or address it here, if you think it might help others.

Regards,

fdesales

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Hi – this is my first post on any of these forums. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 1.5 years, and she has expressed an interest in joining the Catholic Church, in which I was born and raised. She was born and raised Southern Baptist and still has strong beliefs that come from growing up in an evangelical Protestant family (which I admire – she certainly knows a lot more about the Bible than I do). Nevertheless, she knows that being Catholic is very important to me (as in, necessary before getting married), and she’s been attending Mass with me for over a year and has started to come around, for which I’m thankful, as I’ve been praying a lot about it.

The issue now is that we inquired at the church we’ve been attending about their RCIA program. We were told that at the earliest, she could be admitted into the church at Easter 2011. Which left us both… disappointed. I know there’s a process involved, and that she should learn about the church and its teachings before fully accepting it (indeed, I’d like to attend with her and learn more about my faith as well). But Easter 2011 is a LONG time away. It’s not like she’s starting from scratch – she’s already baptized, is very knowledgeable about the Bible, and already has a strong personal conviction in the Lord and Christ. We’re not trying to “short-cut” the RCIA process by any means. But surely for someone in her position there must be a way to joining the Catholic Church that does not involve a 1.5-year-long process, no? I was actually kind of hoping she could be admitted in Easter 2010, or maybe somewhat afterwards – but Easter 2011 is what we’ve been told. And that’s just, well, a little deflating.

I’ve emailed with the RCIA coordinator at the church and she seems pretty set on what she has told us. Should we “shop around” for other church’s RCIA programs? Go over the coordinator’s head and talk to the priest at the church? Look into “private tutoring” RCIA sessions that might get her back on schedule for this coming Easter? I’m really at a loss, and I would appreciate hearing from others. We’re in the Washington, DC area, if that makes any difference. Thanks.

If she is an already Baptized Christian there is no requirement that she wait until any Easter. Candidates can be received into the Chruch at any time that they are ready. Their process will be based on their individual situation and vary as to length of catechesis but usually will be much less than a full year. Call a few other parishes.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I agree with dcssells. I am the RCIA director at my parish in Central Texas. My “general” rule of thumb is that if someone shows up by the Rite of Election, they can join the current year program. This year, that falls on Nov 15 - 2.5 months into the program.

I couple this with one-on-one “faith chats” with all the students. If I feel they are not ready to move forward, I will ask them to not participate in the sacraments. This could be for a number of reasons - lack of understanding, joining for the wrong reason (i.e. for someone else and not for themselves), lack of attendance, etc.

One of the most difficult things to say is that someone is too late for this year’s class. However, my pastor has made exceptions for extreme circumstances and granted them private instructions with a deacon. We are blessed with three deacons, so it gets spread around. I recommend visiting with your pastor. This may be going around the director, but the action sounds justified, given your situation.

Before approaching him to ask for private instructions, your girlfriend needs to be sure she is fairly certain she is willing to convert. It is never 100% until the sacraments are administered, but she needs to be on more than an inquiry phase. If that is where she is, then see if you two can attend this year’s RCIA classes, knowing that you will not be able to participate fully in the Holy Saturday liturgies. The problem with that could be that RCIA is a “building” process where one class can build on the lessons taught in earlier classes. Joining in the middle of that could make her feel lost and even more confused than educated.

My hope and prayer is that you two will find Christ together and make Him the center of your lives!

Peace,
Jeff

I assume that you meant Rite of Acceptance or Rite of Welcome, not Rite of Election? A Catechumen should experience at least One Full Liturgical year before being Baptized. A Candidate is not restricted to that.

 

[dcsells]

Thanks to all for your helpful replies. I really appreciate the generosity of your time and insight. I’m glad to know that these deadlines aren’t set in stone, although I’m sure I will have plenty more questions in the next couple days as I and my girlfriend think this through. Again, I’m very grateful.

fdesales, I will look forward to receiving those paragraphs later tonight. I have no problem with your posting them here, so that others might benefit from seeing them, but if it’s easier to privately send them, that’s fine, too. It’s the lack of information – amidst conflicting messages (all within a somewhat intimidating process) – that we’re struggling with, so whatever you can send, we’ll happily take.

 

[YADA]

Brother Rich is correct - for those already Christian in anouther faith tradition the process through which they are united witht he Church can [and should be different] then the RCIA process - which is technically for those not yet baptized.

Many parishes combine the RCIA, with those adults seeking to come into commmunion with the Chrich and those catholics not yet fully initiated … that is a practical decision that is based upon staffing levels and numbers of volunteers, etc… Parishes attempt to tailor one program to meet the various needs of all the participants.

In the ancient church the process of the catechumenate was three years and some parishes today hold to that ancient model. I mention this just to provide some perspective … Much of our lives today are lived in a “hurry” even if we don’t consider what we want, or deisre to be ‘hurried’ …

You have been dating for 1.5 years and she has been attending Mass regularly for some period of time [at most 1.5 years - probably a little less] and is only just coming around to investigating the church … but you think [feel, desire to have] she needs an accelerated program to decide that she desires to become a Catholic Christian for the rest of her life. Keep in mind that she will be leaving a faith tradition she has had for * at least 22 years … a faith for which she still has strong feelings …

HAving worked with RCIA, Adults seeking to come into communion and adult cathechisis for recpttion of Confirmation for some 15 plus years - I have seen hundreds of people going through the Faith Journey process … and wathced how that faith journey has been lived beyond the recepton of the Sacraments …

And sadly - not all of the lives ere lived happily ever after … and in my experience - this is more true for those who were the most impatient - and sought the easier / faster road into the Church …

Granted - that is not always the case … but as I tell my children… “You can beat some of the adds some of the time … BUT you can’t beat all the odds all of the time” …

Faith is serious business, a journey of faith individual and is a process that cannot be forced nor hurried …

AND I WILL JUST OFFER THIS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

Perhaps your RCIA director would have responded differently to your girl friend’s individualized inquiries - afterall it is her faith being discussed - rather then yours on her behalf and via email from you [even if the emails were from both of you] - However, perhaps I misunderstood this from your post. I got that idea from your saying that you had been communicating via email and you found her rather stand offish … So if I am wrong about that - okay … IMHO Emails are not the best means to determine a person’s level of interest nor intent … we do face to face inquiries before discussing the best means for moving forward after an initial contact is made… Phone / email etc gets the ‘stock’ answer …*

 

[fdesales]

fdesales, I will look forward to receiving those paragraphs later tonight.

Sorry for the delay, been a bit busy and the book is over 300 pages long.

The book I have is titled “Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults”. It has the complete text of the rites with additional approved rites for the US (I HOPE you are from the US, since this would make the rest I will say moot…) It is used duirng the actual rite and as a study guide. Within it also are the RCIA statutues as well as pertinent Vatican 2 documents that refer to the catechumens.

Before I continue, I would hope that you will remember, as I said, that we are not dealing with the US legal process, as such, there is a lot of latitude on determining and applying even statutes and so forth. In other words, the “judge” is given a lot of flexibility in applying even Code Law. So let’s continue with what I have found.

First, MOST of what is in the Canon Law refers to the catechumen (non-baptized) and their relationship to the Church during the process, as well as Baptism. Thus, you won’t find much here.

The overall gist of the entire book, when refering to Candidates, is that they refer generally to “uncatechized adults who have been baptized”. RCIA generally is for unbaptized people. There are also “combined rites” that allow candidates not previously instructed in Christianity (not necessarily Catholicism) to operate in a PARALLEL, but not equal, tract as the unbaptized. Over and over again, the book makes it clear that the candidates are to be treated separately because of the baptismal status of the candidates. And in most cases, the term “uncatechized” is used when refering to the candidates.

For example, Par 401: As in the case of catechumens, the preparation of these {UNCATECHIZED} adults requires a considerable time, during which the faith infused in baptism must grow…A program of training, catechesis suited to their needs… are needed in order to strengthen them in the Christian life.

Again, Par 402: for the most part the plan of catechesis (instruction, by the way, sorry I didn’t mention that before) corresponds to the one laid down for the catechumens {see no. 75.1}. But in the process of catechesis the priest, deacon, or catechist should take into account that these adults have a special status because they are already baptized.

The language of the rite book over and over makes this distinction between the UNCATECHIZED and the unbaptized, but there is NEVER a distinction between the CATECHIZED and the unbaptized, because they are not EXPECTED to operate in a parallel tract, thus no distinction …

Which leads to the National Statutes for the Catechumenate (for the US).

Par 31 states Those who have been baptized but have received relatively little Christian upbringing may participate in the elements of catechumenal formation so far as necessary and apporopriate, but should not take part in the rites intended for the unbaptized catechumens.

The paragraph goes on to state that various rites and such may include the candidates uncatechized with the catechumens, and NOT with others, such as the Presentation of the Creed and the Lord’s Prayer and the Scrutinies.

And then it continues…

Those baptized persons who have lived as Christians and need only instruction in the Catholic tradition and a degree of probation within the Catholic community SHOULD NOT BE ASKED TO UNDERGO A FULL PROGRAM PARALLEL TO THE CATECHUMENATE. (emphasis added)

Over and over, the book emphasizes that the candidates that ARE parallel are “uncatechized Christians”, those who were once baptized but never taught the faith. Not only is the CATECHIZED Christians not to be asked to undergo a full program PARALLEL to the catechumenate, but there are separate Rites for such persons. It is called the Rite of Reception. This rite is described in detail in paragraphs 473-486 and the Rite itself goes to 504.

Here is the first paragraph, 473.

This is the liturgical rite by which a person born and baptized in a separated ecclesial community is received, according to the Latin rite, into the full communion of the Catholic Church. The rite is so arranged that no greater burden than necessary (see Acts 15:28) is required for the establishment of communion and unity.

and 478…

…In all cases, however, discernment should be made regarding the length of CATECHETICAL formation (emphasis me) required for each individual candidate for reception into the full communion of the Catholic Church.

Hopefully, you see how the RCIA is not meant for candidates who have already been walking in Christ actively.

One caveat, of course, to remind you that these “statutes” do not have the binding of “Sacred Tradition” or binding legal code upon all RCIA coordinators. They are supposed to be guidelines - and hopefully, if the coordinator is made aware of the intent of RCIA and how “no greater burden shall be provided” to the faithful Christian who desires full communion, perhaps she may change her mind - but is NOT REQUIRED to. She may have a perfectly good reason (or not…)

But if you approach her with patience and prudence, perhaps you will have luck in AT LEAST having her be allowed to pick up where the classes are at and receive the sacraments this Easter. Waiting until 2011 IS NOT in keeping with “no greater burden” and the intent of the RCIA.

If not, it is certainly within your right, as stated above by the intent of the RCIA, to be received into the Church without undue delay.

I hope this helps. I will pray for you for the virtue of patience and prudence tonight. Good luck.

fdesales

 

[fdesales]

AND I WILL JUST OFFER THIS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

Perhaps your RCIA director would have responded differently to your girl friend’s individualized inquiries - afterall it is her faith being discussed - rather then yours on her behalf and via email from you [even if the emails were from both of you] - However, perhaps I misunderstood this from your post. I got that idea from your saying that you had been communicating via email and you found her rather stand offish … So if I am wrong about that - okay … IMHO Emails are not the best means to determine a person’s level of interest nor intent … we do face to face inquiries before discussing the best means for moving forward after an initial contact is made… Phone / email etc gets the ‘stock’ answer …

Yada, this is excellent advice, and I would advise that you (dcsells) do set up an appointment with your girlfriend and the coordinator (and yourself as “support”). I, too, would like to speak directly with the lady friend (if I was being asked by someone) to make sure (to me in a short interview) that she really WAS walking in Christ AND DID desire to enter the church without pressure.

Regards

fdesales

 

[ctkrcia]

I assume that you meant Rite of Acceptance or Rite of Welcome, not Rite of Election? A Catechumen should experience at least One Full Liturgical year before being Baptized. A Candidate is not restricted to that.

Rite of Welcoming. This just goes to show that RCIA teachers are not infallible and can easily make a mistake!

 

[dcsells]

fdesales,

Thanks so much for providing that information. I appreciate it. Just to be clear, neither I nor my girlfriend are looking for ways to “get out of” or “around” full schooling and instruction in the Catholic faith. I don’t plan on waving these paragraphs around, shouting that accommodations must be made We both just appreciate having some sort of additional information, since the process is so opaque (as evidenced by the conflicting messages on this board, even from those who are very knowledgeable in such matters).

And yes, just to reassure everyone, this is entirely her choice and requires her initiation and follow-through. She’s made that clear to me, and I agree completely. But do understand that both the Church and the RCIA process are very intimidating to outsiders, especially people who grew up in another faith and are already predisposed to viewing the Catholic church as this mysterious cult of inscrutable traditions and rites. (The mere fact that there’s a 300-page book providing guidance on how to initiate others into the Catholic faith kind of underscores that.) And the one person she’s been in contact with at the church – the RCIA coordinator – was very businesslike and didn’t seem to be welcoming her in with open arms. That is not something that gives one a good first impression of what it’s like to be part of the Church. So I’m trying to do my best as both a boyfriend and a Catholic to hold her hand during the process and ensure that she has all the proper information she needs to come to her own decision in good conscience. What I’ve learned on this board has been invaluable, and I appreciate everyone’s assistance and prayers.

 

[fdesales]

fdesales,

Thanks so much for providing that information. I appreciate it. Just to be clear, neither I nor my girlfriend are looking for ways to “get out of” or “around” full schooling and instruction in the Catholic faith. I don’t plan on waving these paragraphs around, shouting that accommodations must be made We both just appreciate having some sort of additional information, since the process is so opaque (as evidenced by the conflicting messages on this board, even from those who are very knowledgeable in such matters).

I appreciate your attitude, I think it is the proper approach. No doubt, God is behind all of this, so continue to pray and remain open to God’s will. Yes, the process is “opague” in that Catholic rules and such are not quite the same as American, so we are not used to such things. They are subject to interpretation - and are in many cases - guidelines. The lady coordinator may not have the volunteers or the time to do a personal instruction. Perhaps she is set in the way she does things and approaches this like a “classroom”, and if you miss some time, you got to wait until the beginning. It is my hope that you can make a “compromise” and that she will allow you to just pick up, since your girlfriend does not need to go through a full blown program. Perhaps a personal interview will convince her that she is ready, rather than waiting until 2011!!! wow!

And yes, just to reassure everyone, this is entirely her choice and requires her initiation and follow-through. She’s made that clear to me, and I agree completely. But do understand that both the Church and the RCIA process are very intimidating to outsiders, especially people who grew up in another faith and are already predisposed to viewing the Catholic church as this mysterious cult of inscrutable traditions and rites.

Understood, which is why RCIA instructors must be very flexible and open, since we get all kinds of people on different stages of their journey.

(The mere fact that there’s a 300-page book providing guidance on how to initiate others into the Catholic faith kind of underscores that.) And the one person she’s been in contact with at the church – the RCIA coordinator – was very businesslike and didn’t seem to be welcoming her in with open arms.

An appointment would be good. Perhaps the lady was having a bad day? Anyways, if you want to have your girlfriend initiated at your parish, you’ll have to convince the coordinator… I am sure that you can approach her calmly and with God’s grace, you will convince her of your and your girlfriend’s desire to become Catholic as a couple. (I know you are Catholic, but it is not the same until you both are!)

That is not something that gives one a good first impression of what it’s like to be part of the Church. So I’m trying to do my best as both a boyfriend and a Catholic to hold her hand during the process and ensure that she has all the proper information she needs to come to her own decision in good conscience. What I’ve learned on this board has been invaluable, and I appreciate everyone’s assistance and prayers.

Yes, the Church is human as well as divine. Give her another try and see what happens. Pray together and perhaps you may be pleasantly surprised. Good luck and God bless,

fdesales

 

[dcsells]

Well, we both tried again, and I tried to bring up some of the stuff I learned in this forum (and elsewhere on the web). And the coordinator still wouldn’t budge. (For one thing, they’ve already had the Rite of Acceptance, back in September – seems kind of early, no?) I decided that it would not be a good thing to go over her head and talk to the priests at the church; the last thing my girlfriend wants is to be “that girl” in the program.

So we’ve decided to look into other parishes, despite the fact that we really like that church. We’ve poked around at some other parishes, and they seem to be much more accommodating about either joining a little late, or simply starting the process now and not having to wait until Easter 2011.

I’m hopeful that it will all turn out okay – whatever the eventual outcome – but I’m still disappointed that our original church was so inflexible. It kind of colors our previously positive feelings about it. Oh well…

Thanks again to everyone’s comments and prayers.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Well, we both tried again, and I tried to bring up some of the stuff I learned in this forum (and elsewhere on the web). And the coordinator still wouldn’t budge. (For one thing, they’ve already had the Rite of Acceptance, back in September – seems kind of early, no?) I decided that it would not be a good thing to go over her head and talk to the priests at the church; the last thing my girlfriend wants is to be “that girl” in the program.

So we’ve decided to look into other parishes, despite the fact that we really like that church. We’ve poked around at some other parishes, and they seem to be much more accommodating about either joining a little late, or simply starting the process now and not having to wait until Easter 2011.

I’m hopeful that it will all turn out okay – whatever the eventual outcome – but I’m still disappointed that our original church was so inflexible. It kind of colors our previously positive feelings about it. Oh well…

Thanks again to everyone’s comments and prayers.

So who cares when they had the Rite of Acceptance, she is already Baptized, so she has nothing to do with the Rite of Acceptance???

 

[dcsells]

I’m with you on this. But she made it clear that they have everyone in the same program. I was reluctant to push back in a strong way, e.g., quoting paragraphs from the RCIA book to try to “prove her wrong.” I wasn’t looking to win an argument. But I do wish someone would advise her – or the priests at the church – that the inflexibility isn’t in keeping with either the letter or the spirit of RCIA (or so it seems). And it has the unfortunate effect of (a) turning would-be parishioners away from the parish, and (b) turning would-be Catholics away from the Church.

 

[Catholic_Kenpo]

As someone who has already gone through RCIA (I was accepted into the Church in 2005), I can say that the process really varies based on parish, interest level and any number of other factors. I showed up on Easter Sunday asking to join the program and was told that it just finished that day. They weren’t expecting to have another class until September or so. They did, however, take my contact information and told me they’d let me know if they started one sooner. About two weeks later, I got a call saying that they had more than enough to start a class over the summer. There were about 18 of us that took RCIA that summer. I know that your situation is different, in that there are already classes going on at pretty much all parishes, I just share it with you to show that the process isn’t nearly as set in stone as this one parish seems to want it to be.

May God bless you and your girlfriend during your search.

-CK

 

[fdesales]

I’m with you on this. But she made it clear that they have everyone in the same program. I was reluctant to push back in a strong way, e.g., quoting paragraphs from the RCIA book to try to “prove her wrong.” I wasn’t looking to win an argument. But I do wish someone would advise her – or the priests at the church – that the inflexibility isn’t in keeping with either the letter or the spirit of RCIA (or so it seems). And it has the unfortunate effect of (a) turning would-be parishioners away from the parish, and (b) turning would-be Catholics away from the Church.

There is nothing wrong with noting this with her - that is the only way she will change, presuming she is open to constructive criticism. Such musings from someone who went through my RCIA program gave me an opportunity to improve on what I was trying to do. We need to realize we aren’t perfect, and feedback is useful in any teaching forum. Of course, some are more concerned with building empires, sad to say. It is absolutely ridiculous to ask someone to wait until Easter 2011, this early in the program, esp. when she already is an active Christian. Doesn’t she realizes such attitudes push people AWAY from the Catholic Church? At any rate, you can go through RCIA elsewhere and then just return to your home parish.

Good luck to you and yours.

fdesales

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I’m with you on this. But she made it clear that they have everyone in the same program. I was reluctant to push back in a strong way, e.g., quoting paragraphs from the RCIA book to try to “prove her wrong.” I wasn’t looking to win an argument. But I do wish someone would advise her – or the priests at the church – that the inflexibility isn’t in keeping with either the letter or the spirit of RCIA (or so it seems). And it has the unfortunate effect of (a) turning would-be parishioners away from the parish, and (b) turning would-be Catholics away from the Church.

I would really suggest that you contact the Diocesan RCIA Commission to ask for clarification on just how the process is supposed to be.