I am a Catholic. (Although I dont think I’m very good at it lol) I went through CCD and had my first communion but shortly there after our beautiful church was burnt down. They have since rebuilt it but it just doesnt feel the same…in fact is it doesnt feel like a church at all but more like a waiting room at the doctors office. I know that sounds shallow but to me a church was a place to go to help feel closer to God through all the things the church held (stained glass, statues, all that good stuff) but the new church has none of that. there isnt even a crucifix up front…just some peice of abstract art similiar to the face of jesus in a pile of leaves (if you looking at it right). And instead of stained glass depicting saints or stories from the bible its a picture of the world that looked like it had been shattered and put back together. I know i should still respect it as a place to commune with God…but to be honest i feel closer to God at home in my own room alone. So needless to say the only time I’ve visited that church is for funerals and to have rosaries blessed.
Theres more to the story of why my family and I stopped going to church but I was a child and only heard second hand about how the priest told my parents they need to start putting more money in the collection plate or else I need to find a new school to go to. (I’m not sure how it all went down, I just now that at the time my dad was laid off from work and the church was letting me go to school their anyways)
But despite all this I feel a strong desire to learn of my faith and its something I cant-and dont want to ignore. I just kinda feel stuck. I’ve never been much of the social butterfly type and the idea of standing up in front of people terrifies me.