RCIA Woes, Please Help

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Our pastor recently told me to study ahead in the RCIA curriculum, but our RCIA director said that there is no curriculum and I should keep going to classes.

Nobody wants to teach the basics. It took me six months to figure out how to ask questions that wouldn’t get deflected. Now my pastor wants me to read ahead, but I don’t know where to find the information.

I learned by chance about receiving communion on the tongue. I learned by chance about patron saints. I learned by chance about Eucharistic Adoration, indulgenced prayers, and daily devotions. The list goes on and on. Our RCIA director says that these things are optional, but how can I choose if no one will teach me the options? Ignorance is not freedom.

Here are some of my questions:

Where can I learn about baptism, what it is, why it is done, everything I must do to prepare for it, and the optional things that I may do?

Where can I learn about confirmation, why it is done, how to prepare for it, and what choices I must make?

Where can I learn about communion? Not just the bare minimum, but everything I could possibly do to honor our Lord.

How should I enter the church?
How should I enter the sanctuary?
How do I approach the tabernacle?
What’s this bowl of water?
How do I genuflect?
When do I genuflect?
When do I cross myself?
Why are people rubbing their thumbs on their faces?
What are the parts of the Mass? Where do they come from?
When should I kneel?
How should I approach the Eucharist since I’m not Catholic?
How should I approach the Eucharist once I become Catholic?
How do people know the antiphonal responses?
What prayers should I memorize?
What’s a sponsor? How do I find one?
What are godparents? Should I have some?
How do I know if a resource is genuinely Catholic?

Is there a trustworthy resource I can use to learn these things on my own? I spend all of my time reading Catholic books and none of them really talk about this stuff. I want to move forward with the rites of initiation, but I don’t know what to study. Can anybody point me in the right direction?
 
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There is indeed no formal RCIA curriculum. I suggest you get the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC). It is a big book and probably quite intimidating to newcomers. Otherwise you have to flow along with the RCIA classes.

Having said that, I think you were given insufficient help and advice by the pastor. He should be able to recommend to you materials that you should look onto.

Here are some of my questions:

It is good for you to ask these questions and for now, they are rather general. You may need to know the basic and later as time goes on, you can dig deeper into each subject.

Where can I learn about baptism, what it is, why it is done, everything I must do to prepare for it, and the optional things that I may do?

Baptism, Confirmation and Communion are three of the seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church. Some of these Sacraments are to be received only once in your life, like Baptism and Confirmation.

Holy Order and Holy Matrimony are for priests and married couple respectively, thus a person will not receive both. And yes, they are to be received only once, unless you remarry (on the death of a spouse as the Catholic Church do not allow divorce) as in the case of Matrimony.

Extreme Unction or Anointing the sick is to be received when one is dying or gravely ill. Hopefully we will receive this sacrament only once though it can be received as many times as necessary.

Then that leave The Eucharist (Communion) and Reconciliation, which can be received as often as desired or necessary, as in the case of the latter.

Information on the Sacraments is to be found in detail in the Catechism.

Basically for Baptism, you must have the intention that you want to become a Christian and believe in the Triune God and reject sins.

Where can I learn about confirmation, why it is done, how to prepare for it, and what choices I must make?

The Sacrament of Confirmation is to be received only once some times after Baptism. It is to confirm and strengthen you as a Christian to live the Christian life by the power of the Holy Spirit. You may get another name for Confirmation, and like Baptism, you need a sponsor.

In some parishes, they will give you prior classes or seminar in preparation for Confirmation which will only be performed by a Bishop or a priest appointed by him to take his place.

Where can I learn about communion? Not just the bare minimum, but everything I could possibly do to honor our Lord.

You will surely learn about Communion in RCIA. This Sacrament is nourishment for our spiritual soul as we eat the Body and Blood of Christ, after the bread and wine were consecrated by a priest during the mass. Because it is true Body and true Blood of Jesus, you can only receive it when you are free from sin or what it is usually called, in a state of grace. This means your mortal sins have been confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and are forgiven.
 
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*How should I enter the church? *

This is more of a custom or tradition. Since it is a place of worship, you should enter with the disposition of reverence and keep talk to the minimum.

Usually at the entrance, there is holy water, which you can dip your finger into and with it make the sign of the cross. The sign of the cross is a prayer and a blessing in the name of the Triune God.

Before you sit on the pew, you should genuflect or make a profound bow to the tabernacle usually in front beside the altar.

*How should I enter the sanctuary? *

The sanctuary is the area where the altar is. Similarly you need to make a profound bow or genuflect every time before entering it. Normally parishioners do not enter the sanctuary unless they serve in the liturgy.

*How do I approach the tabernacle? *

Unless you are an Extraordinary Minister of the Holy Communion where you may take out or place in the ciboriums, there would be little reason to approach the tabernacle but if you should, profound bow or genuflecting is required as it is a holy place where the Body of Christ is placed.

*What’s this bowl of water? *

You may mean holy water, which has been blessed by the priest. It is a sacramental item that holds grace but it is not a Sacrament.
*
How do I genuflect? *

You genuflect with one knee bent and it touches the ground.

When do I genuflect?

Every time when you approach or pass the tabernacle.
*
When do I cross myself?*

When you do the sign of the cross, before the start of your prayer, when the priest pronounces blessing or when you feel like doing it.

*Why are people rubbing their thumbs on their faces? *

This is when they ‘crossed’ themselves before the Gospel is being read. They do that to their forehead, lips and heart; a kind of prayer that the Gospel that you hear will grow in you.

What are the parts of the Mass? Where do they come from?

Basically the mass is a reenactment of the last supper, if you ask where it came from. At the Last Supper, Jesus instituted the Eucharist. Seen in more comprehensive way, the mass is the sacrifice at Calvary where Jesus died and thus we can eat his Body and Blood.

The mass consists basically of two parts: the Liturgy of the word and the liturgy of the Eucharist.

This is a very big subject and probably in all your Christian life, you will never finish doing, talking and thinking about it.
 
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*When should I kneel? *

Kneeling is a praying posture. An alternative for kneeling is standing.

*How should I approach the Eucharist since I’m not Catholic? *

You can sit on your pew during Holy Communion or you can come up in the queue with other communicants but cross your arm on your chest so that the priest or EMHC knows that you are not receiving. He then can bless you. This is not the norm however and not done in some churches.
*
How should I approach the Eucharist once I become Catholic? *

As mentioned. You should be in a state of grace and must fast at least one hour before the mass.

Queue up with the other communicants and bow before the host. Some people don’t but it is good to do so after all you are facing Jesus in his Body. If you receive in the hand, receive the host with the other hand and once received, pick it with the hand for eating to eat it.

*How do people know the antiphonal responses? *

They read them from booklets or if they are sung, the people just follow.

What prayers should I memorize?

Basic memorized prayers are the Our Father, Hail Mary, I Believe and*** the Glory Be***. There are others which you will be getting familiar with.

What’s a sponsor? How do I find one?

A sponsor is one who becomes your Godfather/Godmother in your Baptism or Confirmation, and he/she will journey with you in your spiritual life.

A sponsor to the Sacrament of Matrimony will basically be your witness to your marriage.

Any mature Catholic can be your sponsor. If you do not have one, ask your RCIA instructor to find one for you.
*
What are godparents? Should I have some?*

As above.
*
How do I know if a resource is genuinely Catholic?*

If it is a book, it should have an imprimatur, usually a priest or Bishop, printed on it.

Documents from the Vatican and your local Bishop would usually be good references.

Is there a trustworthy resource I can use to learn these things on my own? I spend all of my time reading Catholic books and none of them really talk about this stuff. I want to move forward with the rites of initiation, but I don’t know what to study. Can anybody point me in the right direction?

I still suggest you go through the Catechism. That would be the ultimate information that you want to know about the Catholic Church. It is an official teaching and all that you need to know. It may be very factual but as a basic knowledge which you should know it first, perhaps before you venture into others. You should have a strong foundation on Catholic teaching so that you would not be confused and be confident to know which is right or wrong.

Hope that helps. Others can correct me if there are errors or explanation unclear.

God bless you.

Reuben
 
I went through RCIA and was baptized/confirmed at Easter 2015. Without repeating what you’ve already been told, here are my suggestions:

Read Peter Kreeft’s “Catholic Christianity” which is a very readable summary of the Catechism and explains the Church very, very well.

Another one is Catholicism for Dummies.

If you have trouble finding a sponsor, ask if your RCIA director can help you. My sponsor was gone a lot, so my RCIA director got someone to stand in as my sponsor for a couple of events for which I needed one present.

In my parish, it’s customary to genuflect when entering or exiting the pew, also, by dropping the right knee to the floor and crossing yourself. If you have trouble kneeling, you can bow instead. You are bowing or genuflecting toward the altar.

If your parish has an Adoration Chapel where the Eucharist is on display in a Monstrance, you can likely visit that. Remember that it is our Lord Himself present there, and behave accordingly. It is appropriate to pray, read devotional material or contemplate Him while there, but not to have conversation or use your phone or other electronics and you should remain silent. The one exception to silence might be group prayer, such as a rosary. They do that in our Adoration Chapel.

Just before the Gospel is read, when the priest or deacon announces it, you scribe a cross with your thumb on your forehead, lips and heart and as you do so you say out loud “Glory to you, O Lord” and silently “May the Word of God be on my mind, on my lips, and in my heart.” (as you scribe over each part).

Many parishes differ in certain customs, and yet much will remain the same- but a good rule of thumb is to watch what other people do especially to know when to stand and kneel.

If you get a Missal (or the monthly Magnificat) you can follow along with the Mass and at each step know what you are to say. Eventually you will fully memorize all the responses. The hardest one is probably remembering the Nicene Creed, but that’ll come too. And if it doesn’t, no big deal- I see tons of people reading it out of their Missal.

Look in the narthex (lobby area) of your parish for any pamphlets- many times they will have free stuff that will help you understand things better- everything from why certain things are done during the Mass to how to say the Rosary or a chaplet. They may also have CD’s on hand from Lighthouse Catholic Media- I LOVE the CD’s from them, many of them have really helped me in my faith formation. Usually they’re around $3 each. Some of them you can listen to on YouTube. Fr. Larry Richards and Scott Hahn have talks on YouTube, for example. There are Rosary videos on YouTube too that you can watch to follow along.
 
I had, deep in rural Ireland, an… unusual… entry to preparation.

When I went to see the PP, he asked how much I knew and I told him I had downloaded all the Vatican 2 documents. His eyes all but fell out. “You read all that?” “Yes”

So he reached out and pulled down a copy of the new Catechism and gave it to me… There were no classes and no sponsor. He knew my academic and church history and was a little wary. I went to see a local Monsignor who similarly had no idea how to receive anyone; suggested I try the local Poor Clares… from there to a Dominican Friar in another town via a Mercy Sister… Many roads lead to Rome… I learned most by going to Mass and watching and listening…So OP take heart and persevere.
 
Rosebud77 said:
I had, deep in rural Ireland, an… unusual… entry to preparation.

When I went to see the PP, he asked how much I knew and I told him I had downloaded all the Vatican 2 documents. His eyes all but fell out. “You read all that?” “Yes”

So he reached out and pulled down a copy of the new Catechism and gave it to me… There were no classes and no sponsor. He knew my academic and church history and was a little wary. I went to see a local Monsignor who similarly had no idea how to receive anyone; suggested I try the local Poor Clares… from there to a Dominican Friar in another town via a Mercy Sister… Many roads lead to Rome… I learned most by going to Mass and watching and listening…So OP take heart and persevere.
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That is really great. Vatican 2 documents are very heavy reading, and I can say that, especially for cradle Catholics (and I am one), many have not perused this document sufficiently to know its content.

However converts would be better learned in Church documents as they are probably more curious and maybe need to be convinced. Here in CAF, I am very much edified to listen to Catholic belief as explained by those converts. 👍
 
Hi Reuben,

I just wanted to say that you did an awesome job explaining everything to Wafflenator! 🙂

Hi Wafflenator,

Welcome to the forum! 🙂

I was also going to suggest reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and was also going to recommend the book, “Catholicism for Dummies,” too.
 
Karl Keating, who founded Catholic Answers, is author of extraordinary high quality well-written books and short brochures about the Catholic Church.

“What Catholics Believe” is one.

“Catholicism and Fundamentalism” is another.

And then there is a whole bunch of tracts that are superb.

shop.catholic.com/pamphlets/apologetics.html … call the 800 number and ask if you can buy one of each instead of 50 of each.

shop.catholic.com/topics

Many years ago, I was struggling to find Catholic literature and information.

By amazing “coincidence” I was in an area where I had not visited before and a local church had a Catholic newspaper, in which there was an article derived from Karl Keating’s book, “Catholicism and Fundamentalism”.

So, I wrote to Karl and mentioned my difficulty in finding Catholic literature.

He sent me a letter with a list to search for.

I couldn’t find them, so he started getting the books reprinted and selling them from his house.

At the same time, he started writing his famous tracts. People began sending him money and asking him to write more tracts.

He started a wheneverly newsletter [which I still have in a looseleaf binder someplace], which became “This Rock” which became “Catholic Answers Magazine”.

Then he started doing parish “missions” and he got so many requests, that he had to bring more people with him, which is where I met Patrick Madrid for the first time.

Eventually, his house got overwhelmed with the books and booklets and tracts and he had to rent some office space.

And he finally had to give up his day job and focus 100% on Catholic Answers.

So, your woes are things we have all had to deal with.

It’s a struggle.

But keep fighting the good fight of faith.

Start with the “shop” button on the main Catholic Answers Web site.
 
Apologies for “double dipping”.

But visit Amazon and look for the “Baltimore Catechism”.

It is still in print and is still excellent.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church is superb, but is written in huge detail with biblical references.

Bishops are supposed to use the CCC as the basis for issuing their own local Catechism tuned to local culture.

But get both.

Yes, you will need to get a book case.

On Amazon they have plastic book cases that are light and cheap.
 
When I took RCIA in 2014/2015, the classes weren’t a comprehensive instruction on the Catholic faith, and nor were they meant to be. They were meant to provide me with the fundamentals, and act as a jumping off point to keep learning myself.

The books mentioned are great, but I’ll chime in and add that the Catholic Answers website itself is an invaluable resource. After that, talk to your pastor or deacon (if you have one), your RCIA leader, and other Catholics in your parish (those involved in religious ed are often a good choice). Join Bible studies or prayer groups in your church, and don’t be afraid to tell them you’re new. If I learned anything it was that most people loved sharing their faith.

Finally, don’t think you need to know everything before you enter. I didn’t - nowhere near. I’m blessed with a pastor who is a natural born teacher, and never seems to tire of patience for my seemingly incessant, “can I ask a question?” moments, but I also listen to podcasts (I love Fr. Mike Schmitz), CD talks from Lighthouse Media, EWTN (Called to Communion is a great start), and read anything I can get my hands on - sometimes I just go to our Catholic bookstore and ask for their suggestions.

Hope that helps, and welcome! It is a beautiful journey!
 
Reuben_J said:
That is really great. Vatican 2 documents are very heavy reading, and I can say that, especially for cradle Catholics (and I am one), many have not perused this document sufficiently to know its content.

However converts would be better learned in Church documents as they are probably more curious and maybe need to be convinced. Here in CAF, I am very much edified to listen to Catholic belief as explained by those converts. 👍
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I have an academic training so there was no problem there. I rather enjoyed it. 👍 Not half as heavy as some things I have had to study. Did find a couple of contradictions too. The PP concerned was a theologian doing limited parish work. He said that had i been an 18 year old bank clerk it would have been easier, which is why I sought guidance elsewhere…
 
Welcome to CAF! 👋

I’m sorry you’re experiencing such woes. 😦 Reuben did a great job of answering your individual questions. I will just reiterate that the Catechism of the Catholic Church (which is also available to read for free online) is a great source of information. There can be parts of it that are difficult to understand if you’re not familiar with the Catholic vocabulary. I would also recommend Catholicism for Dummies. Despite the name, it is actually a great intro to Catholicism and was written by a priest. Going through that book first would probably help you make more sense of the Catechism.

I think it’s awesome that you are so excited to get answers to your questions. I will point out that it is still early on in the process (my RCIA class hasn’t even started yet). Not that some RCIA directors don’t overlook certain topics. But for my class, we go over things gradually over the course of the whole year. I always encourage questions. But there definitely is a limited amount of time and a lot of material. No RCIA course can possibly cover it all. But, really, it doesn’t have to because we never stop learning about the Lord and our Catholic faith. That said, your questions are important and I hope that things go more smoothly for you.

And you can always come here with questions! We love to answer them 🙂

God bless you on your journey!
 
I think the earlier posts are great. 👍

One thing I do want to point out is that in many parishes these things will be covered as part of formal instruction, which often follows the school year (roughly), at least until Easter. So it might be that the director isn’t brushing you off so much as telling you to take things one step at a time and to not feel rushed (of course, I could be misreading). All of the questions you asked plus more are covered in RCIA at our parish. At our parish, we also assign sponsors so you can connect with someone at the parish. They discourage having family or spouses serve as sponsors - they want to have people who are known to be actively involved in the parish and practicing the faith.

That being said, not all RCIA programs are equal. When I converted, my program was not very “meaty,” though I also did not take it as seriously as I might have.

Welcome to CAF and welcome home! At Easter next year I will have been Catholic ten years and I’m still always learning! 😃 There will be time. Praying for you!
 
It’s a great relief to see so many helpful responses. The people at my church have been so unwilling to share their faith that I expected more hostility here.

I do have the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Baltimore Catechism, the Catechism of the Council of Trent, and a small library of other Catholic books on various topics. The problem is that they tend to explain the theology without giving details about the traditions or their origins. It seems that a great deal is part of an unwritten, oral tradition.

I agree with Reuben’s comment that I was given insufficient advice. (Also thank you so much for the detailed response!) This gets at the uncomfortable issue at the core of these worries. How can I get sufficient advice, and how can I verify that what I’m learning is correct? I have already heard several falsehoods taught in RCIA, and I need a way of keeping things straight in my own mind so I know what is true.

Thank you all again for the advice in this thread. It bears the mark of wisdom. I will look for the books you recommended. RCIA is beginning to look like a much bigger project than I realized. But that’s OK. It will only be difficult.
 
oldgraymare2 said:
Hi Reuben,

I just wanted to say that you did an awesome job explaining everything to Wafflenator! 🙂

Hi Wafflenator,

Welcome to the forum! 🙂

I was also going to suggest reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and was also going to recommend the book, “Catholicism for Dummies,” too.
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You are welcome, my bro. And thanks for the welcome. 🙂

Yes, I find Catholicism for Dummies very handy. It is easy to read and simplified. While there is much in Catholicism to know, the basic of it is actually quite simple, that is, basic.

In my opinion, it becomes difficult if we need to defend or explain its doctrines. Like why purgatory or why confess to a priest. Of course these are all explained in the Catechism, but to articulate them in an argument or debate is another matter altogether; and depends on one’s ability to present the fact in a way that it can be convincing. And that do not always happen. But then again, the truth of something does not depend on winning an argument but more importantly, on one’s faith.

Have a blessed journey of faith.

Reuben
 
Rosebud77 said:
I have an academic training so there was no problem there. I rather enjoyed it. 👍 Not half as heavy as some things I have had to study. Did find a couple of contradictions too. The PP concerned was a theologian doing limited parish work. He said that had i been an 18 year old bank clerk it would have been easier, which is why I sought guidance elsewhere…
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👍

The older we get, the tougher it is to crack. 😃

BY seeking guidance, you have demonstrated your humility. Nice to hear that. 🙂

God bless.
 
Wafflenator said:
I learned by chance about receiving communion on the tongue. I learned by chance about patron saints. I learned by chance about Eucharistic Adoration, indulgenced prayers, and daily devotions. The list goes on and on.
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That wasnt by chance, but rather a GOOD sign.

Basically I’ve found In almost all areas and aspects, the Catholic Church ‘lives’ according to this:

John 16:12 (DR) I have yet many things to say to you: but you cannot bear them now.

John 16:12 (CEV) I have much more to say to you, but right now it would be more than you could understand.

The passage then goes on to discuss how the unction/annointing/grace/Spirit will guide you into all truth. Thats why these ‘by chance’ teachings have happened. And it will continue through your life as an induvidual and come in various ways and happenstance. The guiding and leading of the Spirit takes on different meanings which have now become heretical in my opinion so be cautious on researching any topics on the Spirit in relation to your guidance and learning. Its just as easy to follow your own ego and not know it.

Now try to grasp what I’m about to say. The dissciple’s could not understand the reason ‘why’ at that time. The things Jesus wanted to say was to give meaning to things which already happened as well as things to come. But like Jesus not revealing everything at once, The Church also does not reveal things that anyone inside and outiside its own body that could cause others to stumble. Petty things are really powerful and yes news headlines DO have the power to cause people to leave the Faith. Manmade modern constructs like feminism does indeed cause people to leave. With the world the way it is, the Church can not, nor should openly make known all it’s reasons for doing as it does. The Chruch uses descernment at all levels. If you desire to know the truth, you will be lead to the teachings as long as you co-operate with God. There is no single person that will give you all the answers, but you will come across them.

You mention communion on the tongue. Doesnt life and death come by the tongue? Why would your own hands touch the host? Are your hands concecrated as holy? no. but your priests are (and they arent married and often partake in vows which ensure their hands never… actually nevermind lol). Does everyone really need to have the deepest of reasoning on things? Of course not, because it would make the Church seem crazy and drive people away!

Christ many, many times makes it known that he does not want all knowing all things all at once. And for good reason. I will say the spirit will only testify to Catholic truth. The Church is very ‘mystical’… im trying not to use the words magical. It truly is the doors to the other side. Your own ‘ego’ will act at first as a brick wall to anything more deeper so naturally things come in time. Again the Church is extremely, extrmely supernatual and mystical.

NOTE: There is also a real spirit of error of however (1 Jn 2 i think). Those people are identified by conciously and actively reject Papal authority or have a manifest disrespect for past and present Popes. Thats a very complicated topic though but I believe that is the true sign of someone who have the ‘spirit of error’. Hoever, you can learn many things from these people through their errors. Mary is also an important signifier of others but thats of the highest understanding and her mysteries are likely never understood in a lifetime.
 
You should also join the Catholic convert Facebook page. They are very supportive and there are quite a few individuals that are starting RCIA as we speak. One of the members is also putting together a list of resources that is going to be posted onto the group’s page in the next few weeks. I have included the link below.

Hopefully it will help you.

facebook.com/groups/2206769476/
 
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