Re: Open-ness to Life and Finances

[Philosophymasta]

Hi,

Can a married couple use NFP if they are open to procreation but their finances may not allow them for a child, at the moment? If not, does that mean married couples must refrain from sex until finances allow for a child? Or is the openness of child the primary factor here?

Thank you.

God Bless,
Mateusz

 

[lada]

NFP can be used to space children, or even to avoid more children altogether if there is just reason for the couple to do so, and if they have made the decision prayerfully. “Just reason” can be a million different things to a million different people…

 

[dixieagle]

Hi,

Can a married couple use NFP if they are open to procreation but their finances may not allow them for a child, at the moment? If not, does that mean married couples must refrain from sex until finances allow for a child? Or is the openness of child the primary factor here?

Thank you.

God Bless,
Mateusz

Certainly they can; it is up to the couple’s well informed consciences to discern whether their financial situation is such that spacing children, or postponing a pregnancy, is the prudent choice.

Couples just need to avoid falling into the trap of waiting for a “perfect” time to have children; it will likely never come! Otherwise, pray, discuss, discern and follow your conscience; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[iluvmybabies]

I believe NFP helps couples on so many levels…Teaches them about intimacy, respect, love, affection, and life… You can love each other respectfully while you wait until you feel it’s the right time to try and have a baby, with GOD’s blessing of course. You will learn to respect each other’s bodies, and respect each other, not to objectify each other, and learn about your intimacy even more deeper together, show other forms of affection that will not lead you to want to have sex and “unwanted” pregancies where you will be resenting each other for it later on…

I think it’s ok to use NFP to space children out…It’s a natural way for couples/spouses to learn about your bodies even better…

 

[garyr]

?Finances? depends on if you mean by finances? - ‘struggling with the basics of life/ avoiding debt / underemployment’, etc or ‘until we can afford two new cars every year & a new boat & a new house & a new wardrobe every month’.

The latter is probably not justified . . .

God give us babies for free . . . . :

 

[iluvmybabies]

?Finances? depends on if you mean by finances? - ‘struggling with the basics of life/ avoiding debt / underemployment’, etc or ‘until we can afford two new cars every year & a new boat & a new house & a new wardrobe every month’.

The latter is probably not justified . . .

God give us babies for free . . . . :

FREE BABIES RULE! lol

 

[ac_claire]

Couples just need to avoid falling into the trap of waiting for a “perfect” time to have children; it will likely never come! Otherwise, pray, discuss, discern and follow your conscience; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Wanted to second this…I’ve seen in my own family the trap of waiting for the “perfect” time to have a baby, and it’s so easy to fall into. I’ve read some things suggesting that it’s one reason why there seems to be a rise in infertility these days: couples put off having children until ther college loans are paid off, or until this or that debt is paid, or until they get a house, etc., etc. Before they know it the woman is getting older and her fertility starts to decrease naturally after every year in her 30’s.

And the ironic thing is, yeah you can plan and save and be frugal all you want, and it’s good to do so, but in the end there are no guarantees in this life, about anything. Think about just a few years ago. A couple may have thought, for instance, that they’d be doing better when the husband got his promised promotion in 2 years, but instead the economy went down the tubes and he got laid off, and now they’re worse off than ever and they’ve just delayed 2 years in started their family for nothing, etc. You just never know, there are no guarantees.

 

[Philosophymasta]

Hi,

Thank you for all of your replies. Greatly appreciated. So, a couple is able to have marital intercourse, provided they are open to life, but their financial circumstances may not allow them to have children? I’m not yet married, hope to be soon, but would like to understand some of NFP until I actually take a course on it and stuff. Thank you all!

God Bless,
Mateusz

 

[theAuthor]

Hi,

Thank you for all of your replies. Greatly appreciated. So, a couple is able to have marital intercourse, but their financial circumstances may not allow them to have children? I’m not yet married, hope to be soon, but would like to understand some of NFP until I actually take a course on it and stuff. Thank you all!

God Bless,
Mateusz

I’d urge you to meditate on the idea of " provided they are open to life." It’s not some abstract idea. A married couple are free to enjoy marital relations whenever they want! NFP is a way of judiciously reducing the likelihood of conceing a baby if the time is honestly not right due to medical issues, undue financial strain, etc.

However, understand this: “Open to life” means that when you have intercourse, you’re accepting that it is possible that it will result in having a baby. No provisos. No if’s, no buts. I’ll say it again. It means you may have a baby. If that happens, you miss your period, the baby is on his or her way. That’s how it goes. Not a bad thing to expect a baby. I just reckon you should be told straight. It very quickly goes from being an idea to being woken up by your little bundle at 3am for feeds, nappies, the whole bit (which is wonderful by the way)

their financial circumstances may not allow them to have children?

You know, it’s funny but you always seem to survive. When you get married you’ll find that two people can live just about as cheaply as one, too. Don’t worry too much about money. You have good and bad times financially in your life and kids aren’t as expensive as you might think (except loss of income if you’re working). People give you hand-me-down stuff…then you hand down other stuff…clothes get passed down… Parents tend to be pretty generous with each other in my experience.

Best wishes. Meditate on those words, “open to life.” It really means, “we may have a real crying, cooing, smiley, smelly, then bathed and cute again baby.”

FREE BABIES RULE! lol

yeah.