re: re-RCIA

[dinkadare.rm]

I have a friend who was raised Catholic.

But was married in a protestant Church.

He has not been to any church for many years.

He is an honest person and believes in God, and realizes the need for God in his life.

He is thinking about going back to church.

(Thanks to tapes from the Mary Foundation and Fr. Larry Richards)

But he is not sure if he goes back to church where to begin.

He has questions about confession. He says they may need a team of priests to hear his confession.

Where do we begin?

On another note, are all the Sunday masses he has missed over the years mortal sins?

Or once he drifted away, would it be a lesser sin due to ignorance, etc whatever.

but more importantly, let me know how I can help back slowly by telling him the best time and place to begin?

 

[Lorrie]

He should definitely contact a priest.

What’s the best time and place? The best time is now and the best place is a parish close to where he lives. Just let him know to call the parish office and set up an appointment with a priest.

When it comes to confession just tell him to write down (its easier to remember during confession) all his sins… he will naturally leave some out on accident, as long as he confesses the mortal sins - those are the most important and is truly sorry for all he has done (and not did).

Being comfortable with a priest is very important when it comes to confession (in my opinion), one doesn’t want to feel as though they’re being judged. Tell him if he doesn’t feel comfortable with the first priest he chooses (one can usually tell fairly quickly) then just tell him to try a different priest.

In my opinion (I could be wrong) but he knew that he was missing Sunday Mass, he knew what he was doing, I don’t think its any less of a sin; its possible for any of us to “drift away” but it doesn’t change the sin factor or its degree. Him simply saying, “I haven’t attended Mass in ____ years” is sufficient for a priest I think. Once again, as long as he is truly in a state of repentance and tries hard to remember all of his sins that’s what’s important.

Its my understanding that once he gives a good confession, a good act of contrition and gets absolution from a priest that he will be in good standing with the Church, meaning he will be free to partake in the sacraments once again.

A side note: I don’t think the Catholic Church views his marriage as valid since it wasn’t done in the Church. Does his wife support his possible decision? What are her thoughts on Catholicism? As most of us know, having a spouse who is supportive always makes these transitions a lot easier. Just some thoughts.

I think the sooner he does this the sooner he will be at peace with himself and most importantly he will be at peace with God. I’ll keep him and his family in my prayers.

 

[Lorrie]

Just to add, since he was confirmed (I’m assuming) in the Church he wouldn’t need to go through the RCIA process. The main reason for the classes is to prepare those who aren’t a member yet , i.e. teach them what we believe, explain several different levels of our faith and prepare them for confirmation/receiving of first communion.

He may want to, however, brush up on the Church and her faith/teachings. The RCIA is for Catholics and non-Catholics alike and the basics of our faith are usually explained in detail. Considering there’s so much to learn about Catholicism (none of us will ever know everything) it never hurts to join the classes and just sit in and listen. My mom and I are actually attending the classes right now, its wonderful and were learning a lot of things we thought we already knew (but didn’t).

 

[hilde_the_dog]

dinkadare

You might encourage him to set up an appointment with a priest at which time he can confess. It might not be fair to stand in confessional lines and unload 15 years (or how many) of sins. This will not be I did X on this day. More likely what sin and how many times. The priest will ask for more detail if he wants it. And missing Mass without a good reason is a grave sin

 

[Michael_Welter]

The Catechism clearly states that deliberately missing Mass is a grave (mortal) sin. However, in order for a person to be guilty of sin, three conditions must be met:

1. The act must be a sin.
2. The person must know that it is a sin.
3. The must willfully commit the sin.

So, we know that deliberately missing Mass is a sin. And we can be pretty sure that he wasn’t forced to miss Mass. However, we don’t know if your friend knew it was sin, so he may not be guilty. Again, he will need to meet with a priest to discuss this.