Re-Teaching Catholic Parents

[kms123]

Everyone should be concerned about their childs school cirriculum. But, as many of the posters pointed out, educating your child about their religion starts at home. The school should be a supplement.

The problem is with us parents. We teach what we know. If we do not know, then what will they learn?

I have recently discovered that several of the parents at my parish who are friends do not really know much about catholicism. They don’t know transubstantiation. They do not understand or accept confession, though they have their children make the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Many are borderline protestant. They are Catholic, why? Because their parents were Catholic. We were forced to attend weekly mass, do what you are told. There was no homeschooling, prayers or discussions. I admit I did not learn much at all in 12 years of Catholic schooling. I memorized a few things but that was it. (of course part of it was me, and not the school, as I was very shy)

After being called a conservative by one it made me laugh. She said this because of the books I read, because I attend mass on non-Sunday, and sit in chapel to pray. Then, I found myself defending my catholic faith to catholics. But, it really got me thinking. There is a problem with educating children about catholicism. It is at home.

So, the question is now, HOW DO WE RETEACH THE PARENTS PROPERLY? How can we encourage the parents to Really get interested and understand what a great thing we have?

I have some ideas and would appreciate any others in addressing This issue.

PS I can’t say I know much, but it is scary thinking that other parents know less.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Everyone should be concerned about their childs school cirriculum. But, as many of the posters pointed out, educating your child about their religion starts at home. The school should be a supplement.

The problem is with us parents. We teach what we know. If we do not know, then what will they learn?

I have recently discovered that several of the parents at my parish who are friends do not really know much about catholicism. They don’t know transubstantiation. They do not understand or accept confession, though they have their children make the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Many are borderline protestant. They are Catholic, why? Because their parents were Catholic. We were forced to attend weekly mass, do what you are told. There was no homeschooling, prayers or discussions. I admit I did not learn much at all in 12 years of Catholic schooling. I memorized a few things but that was it. (of course part of it was me, and not the school, as I was very shy)

After being called a conservative by one it made me laugh. She said this because of the books I read, because I attend mass on non-Sunday, and sit in chapel to pray. Then, I found myself defending my catholic faith to catholics. But, it really got me thinking. There is a problem with educating children about catholicism. It is at home.

So, the question is now, HOW DO WE RETEACH THE PARENTS PROPERLY? How can we encourage the parents to Really get interested and understand what a great thing we have?

I have some ideas and would appreciate any others in addressing This issue.

PS I can’t say I know much, but it is scary thinking that other parents know less.

Adults require many different approaches. Different times, days, formats, methods, topics,etc. I believe that the SCC or Small Christian Community is the way to go and that can be expanded to clusted families for family catechesis.

 

[leonie]

I think a good time to catch uncatechized parents is at sacrament time. Our parishes should try to get lots of material and catechesis out to parents during Baptism and first communion prep.

 

[FCEGM]

Everyone should be concerned about their childs school cirriculum. But, as many of the posters pointed out, educating your child about their religion starts at home. The school should be a supplement.

The problem is with us parents. We teach what we know. If we do not know, then what will they learn?

I have recently discovered that several of the parents at my parish who are friends do not really know much about catholicism. They don’t know transubstantiation. They do not understand or accept confession, though they have their children make the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Many are borderline protestant. They are Catholic, why? Because their parents were Catholic. We were forced to attend weekly mass, do what you are told. There was no homeschooling, prayers or discussions. I admit I did not learn much at all in 12 years of Catholic schooling. I memorized a few things but that was it. (of course part of it was me, and not the school, as I was very shy)

After being called a conservative by one it made me laugh. She said this because of the books I read, because I attend mass on non-Sunday, and sit in chapel to pray. Then, I found myself defending my catholic faith to catholics. But, it really got me thinking. There is a problem with educating children about catholicism. It is at home.

So, the question is now, HOW DO WE RETEACH THE PARENTS PROPERLY? How can we encourage the parents to Really get interested and understand what a great thing we have?

I have some ideas and would appreciate any others in addressing This issue.

PS I can’t say I know much, but it is scary thinking that other parents know less.

A friend of mine is the DRE of a parish; she sees the same problem - it’s ubiquitous! - and has created an adult education program the schedule of which coincides with the catechism classes for the children. This will be the first year of its implementation, so it will be very interesting to see how responsive the parents are to it.

 

[duskyjewel]

Our parish has instituted “Whole Family Catechesis.” That means we parents don’t drop off our children for RE classes anymore. We go to church at the same time they have class and get a presentation about what they are learning, how to discuss it with them if they have questions, and CORRECT Catholic teaching on many topics. We are very blessed to have some really excellent teachers and apologists available to us to come and teach us parents. I am pretty well-educated as Catholics go, but even I learned some great things during those sessions last year.

I know what you mean about rampant ignorance. My mother went to Catholic schools for 12 years, and yet did not know the difference between the Eucharist and “Communion” in Protestant churches. I mean, that is a fairly major difference, is it not? I was absolutely shocked by that. She is a very lapsed Catholic, even hostile. I have tried to gently talk to her about it at times, and invited her to Mass when I am nearby. She came with me when I went on the Sunday after her Dad’s funeral, but I think some of that may have been wanting to see her childhood parish again. But at least, still, she went… The thing that makes me so sad is that she doesn’t even KNOW what she is rejecting!

One of the best quotes I ever heard was, “People hate the Catholic Church, not for what it teaches, but for what THEY THINK it teaches.” That is just so very true. And the ignorance of our own members does nothing to help with that problem!

 

[kms123]

Our parish has instituted “Whole Family Catechesis.” That means we parents don’t drop off our children for RE classes anymore. We go to church at the same time they have class and get a presentation about what they are learning, how to discuss it with them if they have questions, and CORRECT Catholic teaching on many topics. We are very blessed to have some really excellent teachers and apologists available to us to come and teach us parents. I am pretty well-educated as Catholics go, but even I learned some great things during those sessions last year.

I know what you mean about rampant ignorance. My mother went to Catholic schools for 12 years, and yet did not know the difference between the Eucharist and “Communion” in Protestant churches. I mean, that is a fairly major difference, is it not? I was absolutely shocked by that. She is a very lapsed Catholic, even hostile. I have tried to gently talk to her about it at times, and invited her to Mass when I am nearby. She came with me when I went on the Sunday after her Dad’s funeral, but I think some of that may have been wanting to see her childhood parish again. But at least, still, she went… The thing that makes me so sad is that she doesn’t even KNOW what she is rejecting!

One of the best quotes I ever heard was, “People hate the Catholic Church, not for what it teaches, but for what THEY THINK it teaches.” That is just so very true. And the ignorance of our own members does nothing to help with that problem!

I agree. Most of us go through the motions, Complain, Disagree,
but never think “well what does it mean, why do we do this, where can I read and learn about it”.

Many people I know that have left or going through the motions have had a negative experience. One asked questions 25 years ago and did not get the answers from the priest and left. One describes catholics that seem hypocritical in their behavior. Mean and nasty outside the church building then reading in mass the next day. So they extrapolate these bad experiences to the whole Church. Very sad.

The family classes sound like a good idea. I’d liked to hear how they turn out.

I wonder if there are other ways to promote a proactive interest by the parents, adults.

 

[HouseArrest]

Our parish has instituted “Whole Family Catechesis.” That means we parents don’t drop off our children for RE classes anymore. We go to church at the same time they have class and get a presentation about what they are learning, how to discuss it with them if they have questions, and CORRECT Catholic teaching on many topics. We are very blessed to have some really excellent teachers and apologists available to us to come and teach us parents. I am pretty well-educated as Catholics go, but even I learned some great things during those sessions last year.

This is an excellent idea. I don’t know if many at our parish would go for it but you never know.

I don’t think the ignorance is as much as a problem as the attitude. If you have a faithful Catholic who attends Mass every Sunday and prays, he may seek out information to teach his children. It’s the ones with the attitude that are the problem. What makes someone send their kids to Religious Ed if they’re so bitter? Is it out of habit?

 

[4HisChurch]

Adults require many different approaches. Different times, days, formats, methods, topics,etc. I believe that the SCC or Small Christian Community is the way to go and that can be expanded to clusted families for family catechesis.

I’m beginning to think that Small Christian Communities might go a long way in keeping or getting those who leave the Church for small protestant Christian communities to come back.

 

[jc-servant]

My parish has the Christ Renews His Parish program which starts with a weekend retreat at the parish itself. I know so many people whose reawakening, reeducation or whatever you would like to call it started there.

Many of the guys were sort of tricked into going by a brother-in-law or friend who just said “Hey, come with me to this thing. I’ve heard it’s interesting.” Some men were signed up by wives or mothers. Most of the women find it themselves once it gets going because they see the amazing women who have already gone through it.

I’ve seen a good number of parents who were led by their children, especially some of our really active teens. We have a great Lifeteen program with Parents for Life being the companion group. The parents have a potluck and lesson that goes along with whatever topic the teens will be starting at their group. Some parents who are just into things like PTA or Rotary Club will go to Parents for Life and end up learning the faith by accident.

We also have 7 men’s softball teams at the parish. I know this sounds ridiculous, but a lot of men have been brought to more actively learning about and living the faith through being around other really great Catholic men (who just happen to know their faith and softball too).

 

[CarolSue]

One of my favorite topics as a catechist!

Since parents don’t have the time or inclination to attend adult RE classes, I try to involve them in the education of their children. Remembering that, as a youngster, my parents were “catechized” by drilling us on the catechism, it’s easy to see how, combined with generally poor catechesis in recent years, parents are often ignorant of the faith.

In my class, I send home a very amusing newsletter that not only tells the parents what we’re doing (using a lot of graphics, trivia, etc., but also includes an assignment. Since my students are dubbed “reporters” for the newsletter, they don’t get homework…their parents do. They “interview” them about different topics pertaining to the lessons, the liturgy, prayer, etc. I’ve found that it genuinely helps to open a dialog between parent and child, and creates an awareness of their Catholic faith.

I use a “Dear Catechist” column to entertain questions…and if they don’t have any, I make them up, based on what they are likely to not know. I’ve gotten numerous calls from parents asking more detailed information, and two actually signed up for RCIA because of the intrigue the idea created. Granted, I spend a lot of time prepping my classes…but it’s worth every minute. I also copy “articles” from previous years, which helps save me some prep time.

Since I also coordinate Christian service for the Confirmation program, this year, I’m including parents as partners in service. The idea is for the parents to set an example of living their Catholic life…and not just herding their kids into a rubber-stamp program. The “required” project is for the parent/student to prepare a lesson for the Children’s Liturgy of the Word. I’ve already spoken to several parents about it who are pretty enthused at the prospect, so hopefully, it will work!

Most adults shy away from “formal” instruction…it seems to make them feel inadequate (i.e., denial that in regard to faith, they likely are). Using a fun, friendly approach to involve them in their children’s lessons can be a great tool to evangelize the family!

 

[Matas]

What makes someone send their kids to Religious Ed if they’re so bitter? Is it out of habit?

I know a man who has just about abandoned the Church, and so has his wife. They still send their son to PSR. I speak with him fairly often about “why,” and he recited a litany of excuses, reasons, objections, etc. The main reason seemed to be that after an entire childhood into young adulthood in the Church, they both feel “Churched-Out.”

I asked the man why he sends his son to PSR. He replied that he wants his son to be able to make his own choices. I replied that without his active involvement, his son has almost no chance. The man has already made the choice for his son: The Church is irrelevant. The man didn’t know what to say. He just stood there making dissembling noises.

I told him, “You know what I think? I think that way deep down inside of you, there is a little tiny part of you that wants to believe and still does.” He replied, “Well… uh… yeah…”

 

[HouseArrest]

I know a man who has just about abandoned the Church, and so has his wife. They still send their son to PSR. I speak with him fairly often about “why,” and he recited a litany of excuses, reasons, objections, etc. The main reason seemed to be that after an entire childhood into young adulthood in the Church, they both feel “Churched-Out.”

I asked the man why he sends his son to PSR. He replied that he wants his son to be able to make his own choices. I replied that without his active involvement, his son has almost no chance. The man has already made the choice for his son: The Church is irrelevant. The man didn’t know what to say. He just stood there making dissembling noises.

I told him, “You know what I think? I think that way deep down inside of you, there is a little tiny part of you that wants to believe and still does.” He replied, “Well… uh… yeah…”

Wow, that’s great you could talk to him about that and get him thinking. His answer is very interesting as well.

 

[duskyjewel]

My mom is the same way. She is very lapsed, sometimes stunningly ignorant of just what it is she is rejecting (when we discuss faith issues), and can even be actively hostile toward the Church. Yet, when 9/11 happened…she wanted to come to Mass with me. Of course I told her yes, come with us! And she did. She even said to me, “I am such a fake. Every time something bad happens, look where I turn back to.” I told her that even a little faith is a good thing, and that she can help it grow if she wants to. Unfortunately, I think that was the last time she went to Mass except for her dad’s funeral. I have thought about it, and I bet she’ll want a priest when she dies. I don’t know how to explain it, but the seed is there even if she refuses to tend it. That counts for something, and perhaps someday she will stop working so hard to keep it from growing.

I guess that is one of our challenges as people who do practice the faith…to find what works on people like that. I know that when I have really needed it, the Church has been a very comforting part of my life. I want her to have that too, or perhaps more accurately, to get it back.

 

[MSJoan]

I agree with CarolSue’s idea. Go to the parents through the children. It’s hard for a parent to admit to their young child that they don’t know something (especially if we’re talking sacramental preparation in the 2nd grade).

Some other ideas I’ve used:

Invite the parents to periodically sit in on class (i.e.once or twice a year) and make it a class about something that you fear is lacking - such as the True Presence; what is sin and why is regular confession a gift we should seek; etc.

Conduct an annual parent orientation addressing the content for the upcoming year from the standpoint of this is what your children will be learning and here are the resources we use to prepare for class. In a non-threatening way identify areas where these resources will help (the steps to Confession, the rosary, saint of the day, etc).

This idea seems to work best with the younger ones - have the children prepare puppet shows, skits, or songs about the topics covered in their class/VBS that they can present at an end of year, end of semester, end of Vacation Bible School family gathering. More than likely, the parents will have to help the kids prepare - or at least watch them rehearse it. Also, in today’s world, the parents will probably video tape the show and maybe watching it once or twice at home will help.

 

[Kanda]

Starting this year we are having one class a month that is a family class. It will be taught by our priest, with all catechists required to attend and assist as needed. Parents are required to stay with their children. This is new throughout our dioceses. I am hoping that it will go well.

I also ask and encourage parents to sit in on the classes. They do pick up a lot that way, and it gives them something they can connect with their chilren with.

 

[kell0618]

Noting the problem in my encounters with other parents at our Catholic school, I decided to do something about it. With the support of our Pastor, I just started a discussion group for the adults in our parish. We are reading US Catholic Catechism for Adults two chapters a week and coming together to go over the discussion questions in the back of each chapter. I have planned for guests to address the group, ie: a gentleman will share his testimony about being baptized as a middle-aged adult, our priest will discuss Church history and the four marks of the Church, one gentleman will discuss the annulment process and other irregular marriage issues and other guests are ‘in the works’. As topics come up, I am providing participants with apologetic materials from Catholic Answers as well as other good sources. Given the dwindling number of priests in the US and Europe, the laity has an obligation to step up to the plate and help.

 

[kms123]

Noting the problem in my encounters with other parents at our Catholic school, I decided to do something about it. With the support of our Pastor, I just started a discussion group for the adults in our parish. We are reading US Catholic Catechism for Adults two chapters a week and coming together to go over the discussion questions in the back of each chapter. I have planned for guests to address the group, ie: a gentleman will share his testimony about being baptized as a middle-aged adult, our priest will discuss Church history and the four marks of the Church, one gentleman will discuss the annulment process and other irregular marriage issues and other guests are ‘in the works’. As topics come up, I am providing participants with apologetic materials from Catholic Answers as well as other good sources. Given the dwindling number of priests in the US and Europe, the laity has an obligation to step up to the plate and help.

This is an awesome idea. Bring in some converts. They are most enthusiastic and enlightening!

 

[DebChris]

My diocese is using the Why Catholic? program. This program meets in small groups which aids the development of community while studying the Catheticism of the Catholic Church.

 

[kms123]

One of my favorite topics as a catechist!

Since parents don’t have the time or inclination to attend adult RE classes, I try to involve them in the education of their children. Remembering that, as a youngster, my parents were “catechized” by drilling us on the catechism, it’s easy to see how, combined with generally poor catechesis in recent years, parents are often ignorant of the faith.

In my class, I send home a very amusing newsletter that not only tells the parents what we’re doing (using a lot of graphics, trivia, etc., but also includes an assignment. Since my students are dubbed “reporters” for the newsletter, they don’t get homework…their parents do. They “interview” them about different topics pertaining to the lessons, the liturgy, prayer, etc. I’ve found that it genuinely helps to open a dialog between parent and child, and creates an awareness of their Catholic faith.

I use a “Dear Catechist” column to entertain questions…and if they don’t have any, I make them up, based on what they are likely to not know. I’ve gotten numerous calls from parents asking more detailed information, and two actually signed up for RCIA because of the intrigue the idea created. Granted, I spend a lot of time prepping my classes…but it’s worth every minute. I also copy “articles” from previous years, which helps save me some prep time.

Since I also coordinate Christian service for the Confirmation program, this year, I’m including parents as partners in service. The idea is for the parents to set an example of living their Catholic life…and not just herding their kids into a rubber-stamp program. The “required” project is for the parent/student to prepare a lesson for the Children’s Liturgy of the Word. I’ve already spoken to several parents about it who are pretty enthused at the prospect, so hopefully, it will work!

Most adults shy away from “formal” instruction…it seems to make them feel inadequate (i.e., denial that in regard to faith, they likely are). Using a fun, friendly approach to involve them in their children’s lessons can be a great tool to evangelize the family!

I really like what you are doing.
We have a weekly faith flyer but I feel it needs something to intrigue the parents. I believe this is one great answer to the problem. I would like to see some examples of what you have/do.

 

[kms123]

My diocese is using the Why Catholic? program. This program meets in small groups which aids the development of community while studying the Catheticism of the Catholic Church.

Can you elaborate about this program or provide a link?
Thanks!