Reaching out to a nominal Catholic

[TeenageConvert]

I’ve started going to Lifeteen in the next town over(there isn’t one at my parish, it’s really small with mainly old people) and I love it, a vast majority of the teens there are on fire for Christ and it really is inspiring. I’m good friends with quite a few of them, and we went to the March For Life together this past weekend, and I hung out a lot with this guy who is nominally Catholic and is going because his mom told him to join Lifeteen or go back to military school, he started coming about the same time as me. He’s not a good kid by any means, and a lot of people kind of avoid him and I feel like he’s not gonna change or anything if all of the Catholics whom he’s forced to be around act like they’re better than him, and he’s a really cool guy so I’ve become friends with him. But I don’t know how to be friendly without seeming approving, or to help him without seeming snobby/hypocritical. Right now the most I know to do is ask the Holy Spirit to give me what I need but I’m still confused. I’m sure some of you have been in this position, what did you do?

 

[MarcoPolo]

I still have friends who are nominally or non-practicing Catholics altogether. But everyone knows where I stand on the faith because of my beliefs which I don’t hide, so I don’t think my hanging with them is viewed as approval. They’ve gotten to the point where they know not to try to get me to over-drink or go to places of ill-repute or stuff like that. I can only hope that seeds have been implanted in them and that God will cultivate in them a zeal for Christ.

 

[PJM]

=TeenageConvert;10294532]I’ve started going to Lifeteen in the next town over(there isn’t one at my parish, it’s really small with mainly old people) and I love it, a vast majority of the teens there are on fire for Christ and it really is inspiring. I’m good friends with quite a few of them, and we went to the March For Life together this past weekend, and I hung out a lot with this guy who is nominally Catholic and is going because his mom told him to join Lifeteen or go back to military school, he started coming about the same time as me. He’s not a good kid by any means, and a lot of people kind of avoid him and I feel like he’s not gonna change or anything if all of the Catholics whom he’s forced to be around act like they’re better than him, and he’s a really cool guy so I’ve become friends with him. But I don’t know how to be friendly without seeming approving, or to help him without seeming snobby/hypocritical. Right now the most I know to do is ask the Holy Spirit to give me what I need but I’m still confused. I’m sure some of you have been in this position, what did you do?

First of all keep doing what your doing:thumbsup:

If your truly “GOOD” friends not just talking buddies.

Take him asside and ask him what his “problem is”; NOT judgmentally; but AS his friend out of concern. Talk about Faith issues. Do you beleive in God and the Real Presence for example. Or how do you feel about the sacraments? MAYBE he just is not a well informed person? Don’t push; jusr encourage. And certainly don’t make “lite” of any positions he may hold. Take him seriously, respectfully, carefully and PRAYERFULLY.

God Bless you both!
Pat/PJM

 

[klm120861]

I’m good friends with quite a few of them, and we went to the March For Life together this past weekend, and I hung out a lot with this guy who is nominally Catholic and is going because his mom told him to join Lifeteen or go back to military school, he started coming about the same time as me. He’s not a good kid by any means, and a lot of people kind of avoid him and I feel like he’s not gonna change or anything if all of the Catholics whom he’s forced to be around act like they’re better than him, and he’s a really cool guy so I’ve become friends with him. But I don’t know how to be friendly without seeming approving, or to help him without seeming snobby/hypocritical. Right now the most I know to do is ask the Holy Spirit to give me what I need but I’m still confused. I’m sure some of you have been in this position, what did you do?

Pray, pray and pray some more. Know you faith, be a good friend, and wait for him to open a door. Then, and only then, go through it. Live your faith in front of him. Don’t compromise what you know to be true, or to do the things that you know don’t honor God. Evangelize to him with you life and your friendship. Your acceptance of him where he is doesn’t ever mean you accept his behavior, or support it. But he won’t be able to hear anything you say unless he has first seen you live it, and he knows you genuinely care about him as a person and only want what is best for him.

As St. Francis said, “Preach constantly. When necessary, use words.” That implies that you know your faith well enough to use words and are willing and able to use words when the opportunity presents itself.

I hate to disagree with the other poster, but unless you are very close friends, I would not initiate the conversation yourself. Proceed with love and great gentleness. Always respect his dignity as a human being who is infinitely precious to God. God has put the two of you together, and as the Holy Spirit begins to quietly work in your friend’s life, because you have built a relationship, he will ask you. Or make some comment that opens the door.

You can also use a sneak attack. Sometime when you’re going to reconciliation, if he doesn’t go to your parish, plan to go to his. Ask him if he wants to meet you there and the two of you can do something after confession.
Kris

 

[1roman]

good luck – even though i attended a k- through 12 roman catholic school-- i found that it can be difficult to find a like minded catholic during those years-- my complaint to my parents were that i couldn’t find morally up right and up standing students who were interested in "God " stuff.

being a nominal catholic is really a life style… of playing church-- and most of them skipped mass and really did what ever they choose–

and the more religiously up right will of course – shun-- the people who don’t play the same game–
Paul warned the Corinthians not to be deceived (1 Corinthians 6:9).

He cautioned them not to take up the lifestyles of corrupt people—those who will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Paul knew how easy it is for people to be influenced by such adverse teachings. If not checked at the very beginning, they could begin to adopt such perverted ideas and behaviors as normal.

For this reason, Paul quotes a proverb by the Greek poet Menander: “Bad company corrupts good character.” No doubt this proverb was well known among Greeks of this time.

The point Paul makes here is pertinent to all people in all ages.

When we associate with or take delight in the company of people with worldly morals, we run the risk of mimicking their behaviors, their language, and their habits. Before long we are no longer of Christ, but of the world with its denial of absolute authority, its rejection of the Bible as the Word of God, and its ideology of relative morality.

This is especially pertinent to young people who are generally easily influenced by their peers. Young people are desperate for the approval of others. So motivated are they by the need for acceptance that godly wisdom in decision-making can go out the window in the face of peer pressure.

Therefore, it is crucial for parents of young teens especially to be on guard against the influence of bad company.

So if you do not have a ministry of bring in “lost” nominal catholics, being directed with experienced holy spirit leadership–

then you are most likely being led astray by your own “intellect” or “feelings”

birds of a feather really do "flock’ together

 

[PJM]

=1roman;10305822]good luck – even though i attended a k- through 12 roman catholic school-- i found that it can be difficult to find a like minded catholic during those years-- my complaint to my parents were that i couldn’t find morally up right and up standing students who were interested in "God " stuff.

being a nominal catholic is really a life style… of playing church-- and most of them skipped mass and really did what ever they choose–

and the more religiously up right will of course – shun-- the people who don’t play the same game–
Paul warned the Corinthians not to be deceived (1 Corinthians 6:9).

He cautioned them not to take up the lifestyles of corrupt people—those who will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Paul knew how easy it is for people to be influenced by such adverse teachings. If not checked at the very beginning, they could begin to adopt such perverted ideas and behaviors as normal.

For this reason, Paul quotes a proverb by the Greek poet Menander: “Bad company corrupts good character.” No doubt this proverb was well known among Greeks of this time.

The point Paul makes here is pertinent to all people in all ages.

When we associate with or take delight in the company of people with worldly morals, we run the risk of mimicking their behaviors, their language, and their habits. Before long we are no longer of Christ, but of the world with its denial of absolute authority, its rejection of the Bible as the Word of God, and its ideology of relative morality.

This is especially pertinent to young people who are generally easily influenced by their peers. Young people are desperate for the approval of others. So motivated are they by the need for acceptance that godly wisdom in decision-making can go out the window in the face of peer pressure.

Therefore, it is crucial for parents of young teens especially to be on guard against the influence of bad company.

So if you do not have a ministry of bring in “lost” nominal catholics, being directed with experienced holy spirit leadership–

then you are most likely being led astray by your own “intellect” or “feelings”

birds of a feather really do "flock’ together

First
WELCOME TO the CAF FORUM!

Delightted you joined us.

Liked your post over all; but not sure of the point?

I mean your right about association and its influence. But that’s old news right?

How do we correct what seems so evident? So prevelaant?

God Bless you,
pat/PJM

 

[1protestant]

Pray, pray and pray some more. Know you faith, be a good friend, and wait for him to open a door. Then, and only then, go through it. Live your faith in front of him. Don’t compromise what you know to be true, or to do the things that you know don’t honor God. Evangelize to him with you life and your friendship. Your acceptance of him where he is doesn’t ever mean you accept his behavior, or support it. But he won’t be able to hear anything you say unless he has first seen you live it, and he knows you genuinely care about him as a person and only want what is best for him.

As St. Francis said, “Preach constantly. When necessary, use words.” That implies that you know your faith well enough to use words and are willing and able to use words when the opportunity presents itself.

I hate to disagree with the other poster, but unless you are very close friends, I would not initiate the conversation yourself. Proceed with love and great gentleness. Always respect his dignity as a human being who is infinitely precious to God. God has put the two of you together, and as the Holy Spirit begins to quietly work in your friend’s life, because you have built a relationship, he will ask you. Or make some comment that opens the door.

You can also use a sneak attack. Sometime when you’re going to reconciliation, if he doesn’t go to your parish, plan to go to his. Ask him if he wants to meet you there and the two of you can do something after confession.
Kris

i always wonder why catholics all say pray pray pray-- and rarely say what what God the Holy Spirit told them what to do.

it’s as if like in the book of Daniel there must be a spirit demon preventing the answer from arriving.
but conversely some time when u pray and god gives u the answer – religious people look at you like you just grew a 3rd eye…

i would recognize to practice 1cor 12, and 1 cor 14- pray for a prophetic answer-- that will bring edification comfort exaltation-- with it’s answer–
or maybe pray in tongues and wait and hear the answer-- God will speak into your mind.

romans 8;28
25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

 

[klm120861]

i always wonder why catholics all say pray pray pray-- and rarely say what what God the Holy Spirit told them what to do.

it’s as if like in the book of Daniel there must be a spirit demon preventing the answer from arriving.
but conversely some time when u pray and god gives u the answer – religious people look at you like you just grew a 3rd eye…

When I say pray, pray and pray some more, I don’t mean we should just talk and talk and talk. If we need answers, yes, present it to God. Yes, pray in the Spirit, if that is one of your gifts. Then spend time in silence. Take time to listen. Silence is perhaps the greatest prayer because that is when the Holy Spirit speaks to our spirit. And he uses different means to do it. Sometimes it’s through locution, sometimes it’s so deep within us that we aren’t aware of it even happening, but afterward we just know how to proceed, and we know that the answer is from God. Sometimes it’s something we hear in a homily or a random comment from another person that just “hits”.

I rarely say what God tells me to do because what he tells me to do in a particular situation may not be applicable to someone else’s situation. Sometimes, also, he “tells me what to do” through the use of my reason and just thinking things through. Sometimes he speaks to me. Often it is at that deep level where I am not consciously aware with my mind, but I know what the answer is and I know the answer is from God
Kris