Reaching out to 'fallen away' Catholics

[ccmcmg]

I know that there are some ministries, such as Welcome Home, for fallen away Catholics. I don’t know how successful or active they are; after all, in all our years ‘fallen away’ not one person contacted us to return to the Church, even after I requested information. Even as we joined a parish, we were not contacted to be invited to the ‘welcome dinner’ that is supposedly held twice a year for new members.

Is there a better or more effective way? I know we still received packets asking for money every month, in one way or another. Were we ever asked if we were still Catholic? Were we still attending?

What about a phone call to every member of the parish, over the course of a year? Or a postcard (because people will look at those before throwing them away…as opposed to throwing away unopened envelopes asking for money)?

If someone had called me, or sent a postcard, or even knocked on my door and left a packet…I might have been home sooner. It might have made me think. What about an inexpensive plastic rosary and flyer? Something with Mass times and confession times?

We all want to be wanted, especially by our Faith and Church. I know how I felt: abandoned, shut out, pushed away. I felt like no one cared. Sometimes it takes a stranger, maybe one who has been in your shoes, to reach you.

If one person had asked me to come to Church, or two…who knows.

Of course, then we need to make sure that people feel welcomed when they do show up to Church…but that’s another story.

Thoughts?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

You make interesting points. Parishes should certainly make some kind of contact to those on the membership list who do not contribute or respond to mailings. Are they sick or disabled, moved away, not attending for some other reason? Too many parishes get so busy with the people who do attend that they forget evangelizing those who are not attending.

 

[fastenatingguy]

I think contacting the fallen away (generally) is a real shortcoming of the Church. I have heard this quite a few times. I myself, though not fallen, have been inspired greatly through the radio ministry, Relevant Radio.

Obviously, there may be exceptions. But we’ve all read stories here on these forums and have heard them from friends and family; they left for a “modern” church because those people do reach out, care, welcome, etc.

I hope more come back, regardless of their inspiration.

 

[His_helpmeet]

The parish my husband and I attend has something called the “Landings” program. This is a program designed to facilitate a “soft landing” for people who have left the Church but desire to return. There are brochures for this program in the pews, with a contact number for this ministry.

 

[saintalphonsus]

Hi, ccmcmg. You are absolutely right. It is a much bigger issue than we think, and not enough is being done about it. Father Robert Barron did a commentary on it and said exactly what you mentioned.

Why Catholics Leave the Church: A Commentary by Fr. Barron
youtube.com/watch?v=dftZ5K_EA4s

I’ve heard of catholicscomehome.org which works with parishes to invite people to come back to mass.

Also, Matthew Kelly at Dynamic Catholic (dynamiccatholic.com) has some tips and resources.

I think you’ve addressed a critical area of need in the church to bring Catholics back to mass!

God bless you.

 

[petra22]

I know that there are some ministries, such as Welcome Home, for fallen away Catholics. I don’t know how successful or active they are; after all, in all our years ‘fallen away’ not one person contacted us to return to the Church, even after I requested information. Even as we joined a parish, we were not contacted to be invited to the ‘welcome dinner’ that is supposedly held twice a year for new members.

Is there a better or more effective way? I know we still received packets asking for money every month, in one way or another. Were we ever asked if we were still Catholic? Were we still attending?

What about a phone call to every member of the parish, over the course of a year? Or a postcard (because people will look at those before throwing them away…as opposed to throwing away unopened envelopes asking for money)?

What good ideas you have mentioned! I’m sorry we as Catholics have let people down like you and others. Since you have posted, maybe some of us will mention it at our churches and get the ball rolling. Thank you for posting and I’m glad you came back ANYWAY!
Thank you, God, for calling our family home. Please help us do more to help facilitate and celebrate their homecoming! Amen.

 

[Country_Gal]

I’m a fallen away Catholic. I’ve had a priest reach out to me, have been to church once, I’ve moved since. My new neighbor noticed my Jesus statue, and encouraged me to come to church.

The biggest obstacle to me is that I need to go to confession for missing church. I won’t do that until I know I can commit to going every week.

 

[one_truth_1]

Hey, Country Gal, you inspired me to log in!
You should go to Reconciliation. You probably think about it more than a lot of people I know, and you DESERVE it. (Think about Matthew.).

 

[ccmcmg]

The parish my husband and I attend has something called the “Landings” program. This is a program designed to facilitate a “soft landing” for people who have left the Church but desire to return. There are brochures for this program in the pews, with a contact number for this ministry.

That’s a good start. Too bad I never would have been in the pews to get those brochures, and I doubt that people take them out to give them to other fallen away Catholics. It seems like so many people are ‘scared’ to stand up for their Faith in public.

Hi, ccmcmg. You are absolutely right. It is a much bigger issue than we think, and not enough is being done about it. Father Robert Barron did a commentary on it and said exactly what you mentioned.

Why Catholics Leave the Church: A Commentary by Fr. Barron
youtube.com/watch?v=dftZ5K_EA4s

I’ve heard of catholicscomehome.org which works with parishes to invite people to come back to mass.

Also, Matthew Kelly at Dynamic Catholic (dynamiccatholic.com) has some tips and resources.

I think you’ve addressed a critical area of need in the church to bring Catholics back to mass!

God bless you.

Thanks. The Catholics Come Home ministry is what I meant, instead of ‘welcome home’; but I did try to contact that; unfortunately, some of the very people who were running it were the same ones that helped push us away. I do love Matthew Kelly, Fr. Barron too.

What good ideas you have mentioned! I’m sorry we as Catholics have let people down like you and others. Since you have posted, maybe some of us will mention it at our churches and get the ball rolling. Thank you for posting and I’m glad you came back ANYWAY!
Thank you, God, for calling our family home. Please help us do more to help facilitate and celebrate their homecoming! Amen.

Petra, thanks. I did feel let down, like no one cared. I couldn’t attend other faiths’ services; although they were nice, they weren’t ‘church’. If I put anything together, I’ll re-post. God bless you.

I’m a fallen away Catholic. I’ve had a priest reach out to me, have been to church once, I’ve moved since. My new neighbor noticed my Jesus statue, and encouraged me to come to church.

The biggest obstacle to me is that I need to go to confession for missing church. I won’t do that until I know I can commit to going every week.

Commit to going today. Just today. Don’t borrow trouble tomorrow. If you make a mistake later today, or tomorrow, or the next? Start again, or carry on after seeking forgiveness. Trust me, it’s a world of difference. Maybe it’ll be like AA…1 day holier/trying, 2 days…5 days, etc.

 

[petra22]

The biggest obstacle to me is that I need to go to confession for missing church. I won’t do that until I know I can commit to going every week.

I don’t know your situation but sometimes I cannot get to mass for Sunday/Saturday… It is not my desire to miss mass. If it were up to me I would be at mass Every Day like I did when I was a kid in Catholic school… Is the reason you cannon commit going to mass every week something in your control? If it is beyond your control, God knows and forgives. When I can’t go I watch mass on EWTN. That’s the best I can do and God knows. It’s not a sin, is it, if missing mass is beyond your control?

 

[Country_Gal]

I don’t actually think missing Mass is a serious sin. But if I’m going to have to go to confession for falling away from the church, I’m not going to do so until I’m ready to commit to making the weekly effort to attend church.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Ccmcmg, I like a lot of the ideas you listed. I think parishes could do a lot more to reach out to fallen away and lukewarm parishioners. Our priest mentions things during his homilies, but that doesn’t do any good to the people who don’t attend or don’t attend regularly. I know there are certain mailings that go to all the registered parishioners each year. These actually did a wonderful job bringing people back over the last couple years.

From a personal point of view, I’m not the sort who would typically ask someone to go to Mass with me. I do try to set a positive example, though. I no longer shy away from discussing my faith with others, particularly family members when we get together for Sunday dinner. I also mention my faith fairly regularly on Facebook. It’s never in a preachy way, and I usually throw in a bit of self-deprecating humor. I tend to mention Confession quite a bit, which makes it easy to take jabs at myself, and I’ve noticed that a little humor makes it a lot easier to post religious stuff without being attacked. I’ve actually had a couple people tell me they went to Confession for the first time in years because of stuff I posted.

 

[adf417]

The question to me is “who” is going to do the reaching out?

I have heard this many times in the past and I certainly agree it is a problem in the CC. But it will always come back to - Who?.

As we all have experienced and admitted there are many good people who have left the church and these people, like the OP, have good ideas and valid points. But if they continue to leave isn’t it logical that the ones left will be even more overwhelmed? I know many are.

Peace!!!

 

[ccmcmg]

The question to me is “who” is going to do the reaching out?

I have heard this many times in the past and I certainly agree it is a problem in the CC. But it will always come back to - Who?.

As we all have experienced and admitted there are many good people who have left the church and these people, like the OP, have good ideas and valid points. But if they continue to leave isn’t it logical that the ones left will be even more overwhelmed? I know many are.

Peace!!!

Whoever wants to! It might not be formal; it might not be a large organization. I’m reminded of a story about a person who walks along the shore, tossing the starfish back in the ocean. There are so many, it would be easy to be overwhelmed. A passer by asks the person, “Why are you doing that? It doesn’t matter how much you do it, there will always be more.” The beach person says, as he tosses another into the ocean, “It matters to that one.”

I think maybe we all have the responsibility, to the best of our abilities provided by God, to bring our fallen away starfish back to the ocean of God’s love. If we only save one, that’s more than if we hadn’t.

 

[petra22]

I’ve actually had a couple people tell me they went to Confession for the first time in years because of stuff I posted.

Wonderful!!! You never know who will read and get touched by the “Spirit!”

 

[adf417]

Whoever wants to! It might not be formal; it might not be a large organization. I’m reminded of a story about a person who walks along the shore, tossing the starfish back in the ocean. There are so many, it would be easy to be overwhelmed. A passer by asks the person, “Why are you doing that? It doesn’t matter how much you do it, there will always be more.” The beach person says, as he tosses another into the ocean, “It matters to that one.”

I think maybe we all have the responsibility, to the best of our abilities provided by God, to bring our fallen away starfish back to the ocean of God’s love. If we only save one, that’s more than if we hadn’t.

Christina I do understand and agree with what you are getting at but the implication of the OP, at least the way I read it, was “we need to do more” as opposed to what I think is more important is “we need to get more people involved”. I think we can have all the greatest ideas but without enough good people to carry out these ministries its just good ideas.

Sure there are inefficiencies in every aspect of parish ministry that could be better but to imply a starfish dies because one of one of God’s people didn’t throw enough back in today is a bit hard to swallow. We simply need more people willing to pick up the starfish and throw it back. Just because the church has many members does not mean they are all willing.

As I said, I know many people who’s arms are just simply tired of throwing but are always willing to pick up the next starfish they see and lovingly toss it back in the sea. I pray more of God’s people will someday see the need and hear the call to do the same.

Peace!!!

 

[dividus]

There have been some excellent posts in this thread so far, and I will add my opinion, for what it’s worth.I was a lapsed catholic for many years, in fact for nearly all of my adult life.There was no worse reprobate than I despite the fact that all my family on my mother’s side were devout, indeed my cousin is a priest and one of my uncles is a deacon.
During all those years away I would feel a guilt and uneasiness at times such as Christmas and – especially – Good Friday and Easter but these feelings never resulted in my going to Confession and attending Mass. I stifled my conscience with a hazy notion of returning some time in the future.And we all know what the road to hell is paved with, don’t we!
I finally returned because of a major trauma in my life, the details of which I won’t go into now.
I have been attending Mass and Confession now for just over three months, and feel much the better for it, but – to be totally honest – I can’t think what else would have caused me to embrace my faith in the way I now have.All the exemplary catholic people down the centuries, Pope John Paul II, Pope Benedict et al.
As far as I can see,the desire to change your life has to come from within.

P.S. Can I just thank all those who post on Catholic Answers. I find so much of the content so inspirational.

 

[praccath]

It is my understanding as a practicing Catholic, that mass attendance is not optional. Simply stated, we put ourselves in mortal sin by deliberately missing mass.

It is a shame that fallen away Catholics either do not know this or do not believe this. This is a message the Catholic Church cannot afford to keep to itself - for the salvation of souls.

Our ultimate goal should be to go to Heaven and to live with God, our Creator, for all eternity. I am amazed at how lightly many Catholics take the obligation to attend mass and dismiss the reality that this puts their soul in jeopardy.

Our Lady of America, pray for us.

 

[ccmcmg]

Christina I do understand and agree with what you are getting at but the implication of the OP, at least the way I read it, was “we need to do more” as opposed to what I think is more important is “we need to get more people involved”. I think we can have all the greatest ideas but without enough good people to carry out these ministries its just good ideas.

Sure there are inefficiencies in every aspect of parish ministry that could be better but to imply a starfish dies because one of one of God’s people didn’t throw enough back in today is a bit hard to swallow. We simply need more people willing to pick up the starfish and throw it back. Just because the church has many members does not mean they are all willing.

As I said, I know many people who’s arms are just simply tired of throwing but are always willing to pick up the next starfish they see and lovingly toss it back in the sea. I pray more of God’s people will someday see the need and hear the call to do the same.

Peace!!!

I’m not saying everyone else needs to be willing; I’m saying I do, and I need to figure out how to do it. As for the dying starfish…it isn’t hard to swallow to me. Shall God hold up to me those that would have accepted my invitation had I only asked, but instead are suffering, or short of God’s Grace? We do need to do more, AND we do need to get more people involved. I think that we should be willing…or at the least, I should.

There have been some excellent posts in this thread so far, and I will add my opinion, for what it’s worth.I was a lapsed catholic for many years, in fact for nearly all of my adult life.There was no worse reprobate than I despite the fact that all my family on my mother’s side were devout, indeed my cousin is a priest and one of my uncles is a deacon.
During all those years away I would feel a guilt and uneasiness at times such as Christmas and – especially – Good Friday and Easter but these feelings never resulted in my going to Confession and attending Mass. I stifled my conscience with a hazy notion of returning some time in the future.And we all know what the road to hell is paved with, don’t we!
I finally returned because of a major trauma in my life, the details of which I won’t go into now.
I have been attending Mass and Confession now for just over three months, and feel much the better for it, but – to be totally honest – I can’t think what else would have caused me to embrace my faith in the way I now have.All the exemplary catholic people down the centuries, Pope John Paul II, Pope Benedict et al.
As far as I can see,the desire to change your life has to come from within.

P.S. Can I just thank all those who post on Catholic Answers. I find so much of the content so inspirational.

Welcome home!! I was away for many, many years, and God kept giving me signs to come back. I’m kinda stubborn though, so it took a few, but it was after a very clear sign when my son was in the ER having emergency surgery that was the final push…it still took a couple more weeks though. But rarely, if ever, during the years we were away, did ONE PERSON reach out to us. NOT ONE, even those that knew we were Catholic and fallen away. They didn’t ask why. They didn’t invite us to their parish. I might have been back sooner; I might not have. But I don’t want one more person to feel the way I did…abandoned.

Catholic Answers has been a true God send for me as well!