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TheLittleLady
Guest
Likely she has nothing to say in reply.
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Ready to kick out my Daughter! Her lies are causing trouble in my marriage!
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Roseeurekacross
Guest
Throwing your 4 day old newborn grandson, and your post Partum daughter out onto the street
Is a great way to set them up for failure.
Perhaps put your self second and your grandson first.
Is a great way to set them up for failure.
Perhaps put your self second and your grandson first.
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lilypadrees
Guest
She’s either eating crow or hopefully, we’ve given her something to think about.Likely she has nothing to say in reply.
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hoping4more
Guest
Leave your daughter out of your marriage problems.
Work on your own marriage and be sure to lead a good example.
Work on your own marriage and be sure to lead a good example.
Q
QwertyGirl
Guest
OP, I got to this thread after 67 posts were generated. I must confess I only read to number 20. Most people are surprised at your attitude with regards to everything you have been going through due to your daughter’s pregnancy and the birth of your grandson.
From someone on the outside, looking in, it looks like the problem is that you are embarrassed and ashamed that your daughter got pregnant and had a baby.
A lot of times, people who aren’t as self-aware as they might be, convert the feelings of shame and embarassment into anger. Afterall, many of us will admit it is far easier to be angry than it is to be embarrassed or ashamed. An angry person can yell, and try to make others feel bad, and blow off steam. Doing so may even bring a little relief, temporarily. If you are embarrassed and ashamed, because of someone else’s actions, there isn’t much relief available for that.
Please think about this. Your daughter made some poor choices along the way, but they were HER choices. It isn’t your shame or embarrassment to take on. She went ahead and had the baby. While you may not be proud of your daughter for her actions, there is no reason for you not to be proud of your new grandson. You see? You are allowing your unfounded embarassment and shame to rob you of enjoying every minute with your beautiful grandchild. There are only so many hours and minutes in the day. If you are spending them converting your embarrassment and shame into anger, that means you are forfeiting your joy.
It is not surprising that your daughter confided in your husband and he withheld the information from you. I suspect this has been an ongoing pattern. If you are angry everytime you get embarrassed or ashamed, you are probably angry a lot of the time. Her confidence shared with her dad isn’t the problem. The problem is that she has learned not to confide in you because of your anger and the resulting behavior towards her. Can you blame her?
Here is the good news. With a little counseling, you really can turn this around and learn how to (first) not take on embarrassment or shame as a result of the actions of other people, and (second) learn how to deal in a positive manner with your own embarrassment and shame without converting it to anger.
You are blessed with a new baby in your family. New babies can have a wonderful way of bringing people together. I would use that to your advantage while you seek to learn to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Don’t be ashamed of it. We all deal with this sort of thing on one level or another if we are living full lives. The shame will be if you don’t work hard to turn it around.
From someone on the outside, looking in, it looks like the problem is that you are embarrassed and ashamed that your daughter got pregnant and had a baby.
A lot of times, people who aren’t as self-aware as they might be, convert the feelings of shame and embarassment into anger. Afterall, many of us will admit it is far easier to be angry than it is to be embarrassed or ashamed. An angry person can yell, and try to make others feel bad, and blow off steam. Doing so may even bring a little relief, temporarily. If you are embarrassed and ashamed, because of someone else’s actions, there isn’t much relief available for that.
Please think about this. Your daughter made some poor choices along the way, but they were HER choices. It isn’t your shame or embarrassment to take on. She went ahead and had the baby. While you may not be proud of your daughter for her actions, there is no reason for you not to be proud of your new grandson. You see? You are allowing your unfounded embarassment and shame to rob you of enjoying every minute with your beautiful grandchild. There are only so many hours and minutes in the day. If you are spending them converting your embarrassment and shame into anger, that means you are forfeiting your joy.
It is not surprising that your daughter confided in your husband and he withheld the information from you. I suspect this has been an ongoing pattern. If you are angry everytime you get embarrassed or ashamed, you are probably angry a lot of the time. Her confidence shared with her dad isn’t the problem. The problem is that she has learned not to confide in you because of your anger and the resulting behavior towards her. Can you blame her?
Here is the good news. With a little counseling, you really can turn this around and learn how to (first) not take on embarrassment or shame as a result of the actions of other people, and (second) learn how to deal in a positive manner with your own embarrassment and shame without converting it to anger.
You are blessed with a new baby in your family. New babies can have a wonderful way of bringing people together. I would use that to your advantage while you seek to learn to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Don’t be ashamed of it. We all deal with this sort of thing on one level or another if we are living full lives. The shame will be if you don’t work hard to turn it around.
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Legend
Guest
Well, I went to search for the ‘stepfather’ on this thread, and came back to find
this post removed. Every trace of it! I never did find mention of a ‘stepfather’ in this thread, but I do sort of remember it. I admit, however, that I didn’t read the deleted post, thoroughly. I don’t think it was on this thread that the OP’s husband was not the father of the daughter in question.
this post removed. Every trace of it! I never did find mention of a ‘stepfather’ in this thread, but I do sort of remember it. I admit, however, that I didn’t read the deleted post, thoroughly. I don’t think it was on this thread that the OP’s husband was not the father of the daughter in question.
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