Ready to leave Protestant church

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HeatherWB

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I just started RCIA recently and have also been attending Mass in addition to going to church with my husband. When I first told the hubs that I was starting RCIA, I also told him that I would still continue to attend the Protestent church we’ve attended for many years with him for the time being. That sounds like a fair enough compromise except that it makes me miserable and depressed.

He’s not been terribly thrilled about my decision, so that’s part of why I continue to go with him. He’s a sports nut who likes to attend NFL and MLB games; I’m not terribly crazy about sports, but I’ll go with him anyway. At least with sporting events, I can use the ad a good excuse to knit. 🙂 With a church service, I just can’t whip out my knitting during the service.

I’m torn. While I want to support my husband and our marriage, I also need to honor myself and my convictions. I need to do what is best for me emotionally and spiritually, but still consider his feelings and wishes.

TIA.
 
gives Heather a hug It’s going to be alright. Just do whatever you do in charity, so that your husband can see that you’re acting in love, even if he doesn’t like what you’re doing. You might yet convert him, with lots and lots of patience and charity. You won’t be able to partake in the protestant communion any longer, since you hold to the truth of the Eucharist, but you can still attend a protestant service for the sake of your husband in addition to Mass.

God bless you. We love you and the saints are praying for you with joy :crossrc:
 
It sounds like the right time. I pray that your husband is understanding. Hugs!
 
Sounds like a good time to leave the Protestant church to me as well.
Good luck.
Mary.
 
Ultimately, if you are going to be Catholic, you will at some point, need to leave the Protestant Church. Now, it’s inconsistent with your new faith.

If it is not now, it will only be in the future, right? If it is now something you no longer agree with, or believe in, in my opinion, it’s time to stop going. Why not just make a clean break, now, rather than wait?

By your own admission, going to a church you disagree with has been making you, “miserable and depressed”. I think it’s enough of a compromise on your part to go to sporting events you don’t like. To have to go to religious events you don’t like would be too much.

Well, in essence, sounds like you’ve been going to mass, RCIA, a Protestant Church (you don’t want to attend) and sporting events (also don’t want to attend).

I think you have done what you can, but you really shouldn’t compromise on your beliefs. Sports is a different matter, though. That can be compromised on for the sake of your marriage.

I think you’ll begin to feel better, less depressed, and relieved once you begin living more consistently with your beliefs, as you say.

Good luck!
 
Heather, during my RCIA last year, we had 3 whom were converting, but not their spouses. We also had 3 RCIA leaders whom have converted over the past few years.

The priest instructed and encouraged all of them to continue to attend both. Vigil Mass, and Sunday with their family at their protestant church. Just not to receive communion in the protestant church. He was very clear on not breaking a family apart, by dividing up and going separate ways on Sunday. He stated that it was important to maintain “normalism” for the family as a whole. Continue to plant seeds, show continued love and pray for their conversion down the road.

Depending on the age of your children, you should be very careful and supportive of the church you have raised them in. This may take years, so take your time. Go to church with them and support them. Hopefully, they will also support you in your journey. The ultimate goal, down the road is the whole family will convert, but don’t push. In God’s time.

God Bless you in your journey and welcome home.
 
Welcome home Heather. 😃

Everything in God’s time, He will find a way for you.👍
 
For the record, the hubs and I don’t have any kids (at least not the 2-legged kind), so that’s not an issue.

I just got off the phone with my sponsor and she is in agreement that it is time for an exit plan from the other church. She suggested that I ask him how he thinks I should handle it, while making it clear that the fact that I’m leaving is not negotiable. I would let him know how much longer I would continue to go with him, but after that for him not to expect me to continue to go with him, at least on a regular basis.

Now, it’s just a matter of figuring out when would be a good time to sit down with him and talk. Obviously, right now isn’t a good time, thanks to the NFL. 😛
 
Have faith in the Holy Spirit, he has lead you home. Now, what you can do for your husband is pray for him. Pay a visit to the adoration chapel and spend some time with our Lord. Tell him, what is going on. He will listen to your prayers.
 
HeatherWB said:
For the record, the hubs and I don’t have any kids (at least not the 2-legged kind), so that’s not an issue.

I just got off the phone with my sponsor and she is in agreement that it is time for an exit plan from the other church. She suggested that I ask him how he thinks I should handle it, while making it clear that the fact that I’m leaving is not negotiable. I would let him know how much longer I would continue to go with him, but after that for him not to expect me to continue to go with him, at least on a regular basis.

Now, it’s just a matter of figuring out when would be a good time to sit down with him and talk. Obviously, right now isn’t a good time, thanks to the NFL. 😛
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God bless you on your journey into the Church! I became Catholic Easter 2009 after most of my life as an Evangelical Protestant. This is just anecdotal, so take it for what it is worth.

I had a very hard time going to Protestant churches during RCIA and the year following my becoming Catholic. Most of my friends and all my family were Protestants so I still went for baptisms, if a friend was preaching, for special events around the holidays. A lot of why I was uncomfortable had to do with my resentment towards Protestantism and my new love for the Mass. Since then, however, I’ve worked out a lot of my issues and have learned to appreciate my Protestant roots. Now when I visit my sister’s “emergent” church or my in-laws Pentecostal congregation I can find a way to praise God and pray without feeling too out of place (though I’m a big-time stinker and do love raising some eyebrows when I make the sign of the cross at their churches, God help me!)

All that to say, if you are having a hard time during service it might get better with time. Your idea to break from the church community but still attend occasionally with your husband sounds prudent. I’m guessing you would like your husband to become Catholic? If so, as others have said, supporting him in his faith yet being firm in your decision (which you seem to be doing both already) will serve as a good witness to the Church.

Another anecdotal point: I know so many couples where one converts and the other stays for a time or for always. They figure it out and you guys will too. A mutual love for Jesus goes a long way.
 
Oh! And the knitting! I knit during football and basketball while my husband watches, too (a pair of socks every superbowl!)-- and even at mass sometimes I wish I could meditate on God while putting in a few quick stitches 😊
 
If you MUST attend your husband’s church, you could take a small Catholic prayerbook or rosary with you and pray during the service. There are little ring rosaries, as well as single decade that are very discreet.
 
HeatherWB said:
I just started RCIA recently and have also been attending Mass in addition to going to church with my husband. When I first told the hubs that I was starting RCIA, I also told him that I would still continue to attend the Protestent church we’ve attended for many years with him for the time being. That sounds like a fair enough compromise except that it makes me miserable and depressed.

He’s not been terribly thrilled about my decision, so that’s part of why I continue to go with him. He’s a sports nut who likes to attend NFL and MLB games; I’m not terribly crazy about sports, but I’ll go with him anyway. At least with sporting events, I can use the ad a good excuse to knit. 🙂 With a church service, I just can’t whip out my knitting during the service.

I’m torn. While I want to support my husband and our marriage, I also need to honor myself and my convictions. I need to do what is best for me emotionally and spiritually, but still consider his feelings and wishes.

TIA.
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I remember when I left the pentecostal church of god I eventually had to shake theit dust off my feet Welcome home.
 
If you MUST attend your husband’s church, you could take a small Catholic prayerbook or rosary with you and pray during the service. There are little ring rosaries, as well as single decade that are very discreet.
 
Magdalen2013 said:
If you MUST attend your husband’s church, you could take a small Catholic prayerbook or rosary with you and pray during the service. There are little ring rosaries, as well as single decade that are very discreet.
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This is an excellent idea!
 
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