Really, really down

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marvin

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Hi everyone,

First let me apologize to anyone I’ve offended with any of my posts lately. I haven’t been myself.

Life is getting to be too much lately. I try to stay positive but I just keep hitting the wall.

Our youngest son has medical problems which are enough to make him hard to care for, but not severe enough to qualify for medical or financial assistance. We are in alot of debt because we had to use credit cards for the first few months of his life for pretty much everything because neither my wife or I could work. We just started to get out of the hole when our transmission went. I don’t have to tell you how much that cost.

We live smack dab in an urban neighborhood of a large East Coast city which has just set a record for homicides this year. Our neighborhood is rapidly deteriorating. People from outside the neighborhood are buying houses and renting them for a song to who knows who. We have to send our kids to private school because the public schools here are a sick joke, and we want them to get a Catholic education.

I can’t stand it anymore. I’ve always been grateful for everything we have, but the area is just getting worse and worse, literally by the week. We can’t afford to move. I can’t work full time because of my son’s problems, and we can’t afford childcare for them anyway. My wife makes the bulk of the money. She is paid well,
but we just can’t get ahead. I can’t even provide for my family. I feel like a total failure. I could go on…

I’m sorry, I just don’t know where else to go with this. I am on the verge of despair. I have no friends anymore. They pretty much abandonded me when I stopped drinking eleven years ago.

Any advice or prayers would be greatly appreciated. I’m sorry its just hard to keep going.
 
Persevere!! 🙂 This life is but a blip in eternity. I’m going to Adoration tonight and I will pray for you.

Also, think outside the box. Have you considered Homeschooling-you can have a really Catholic ed. You will rapidly make lots of very good Catholic friends if you hook up with a Catholic support group. No tuition. 👍

Do something that brings you joy. Have something to look forward to. Can you take a day trip to a natural setting?

You are seeing only closed doors. Ask God to show you a open door.

This is going to sound simplistic, but Thank God for the crosses you are having and ask the Holy Spirit to show you the blessings of these crosses. It is easy to thank Him for the obviously good things in our lives. It will change your whole attitude (though not at once).

Move to Indiana–our cost of living is pretty cheap and housing is reasonable. 👍

God Bless You. I have Adoration from 1 am to 2 am Eastern time.
 
Marvin,

Is there any sort of work you can do at home on your computer? Have you looked around to see if you can use any of your skills in that way while you are at home?
 
JMJ Theresa:
Persevere!! 🙂 This life is but a blip in eternity. I’m going to Adoration tonight and I will pray for you.

Also, think outside the box. Have you considered Homeschooling-you can have a really Catholic ed. You will rapidly make lots of very good Catholic friends if you hook up with a Catholic support group. No tuition. 👍

Do something that brings you joy. Have something to look forward to. Can you take a day trip to a natural setting?

You are seeing only closed doors. Ask God to show you a open door.

This is going to sound simplistic, but Thank God for the crosses you are having and ask the Holy Spirit to show you the blessings of these crosses. It is easy to thank Him for the obviously good things in our lives. It will change your whole attitude (though not at once).

Move to Indiana–our cost of living is pretty cheap and housing is reasonable. 👍

God Bless You. I have Adoration from 1 am to 2 am Eastern time.
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JMJ Theresa,

It absolutely means the world to me that you will remember me at adoration. Thank you and God bless you.
 
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ThisOne:
Marvin,

Is there any sort of work you can do at home on your computer? Have you looked around to see if you can use any of your skills in that way while you are at home?
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Actually I do work part time outside the home. I’ve looked for other things to make more money and contiue to do so. Thanks for responding though. I appreciate it more than you know. God bless.
 
Hi Marvin,

This is a really hard time of year for a lot of people. I can associate. We live in New Orleans (enough said) and many of us are gong through trying times. The home schooling sounds like a good idea though. My sister and my sister-in-law both do it and they have made so many friends and their children are very well educated. I will keep you in my prayers and may St. Therese’s (the Little Flower) sweet face smile down on you and bring your needs to the Lord.

:amen:
 
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cleofet:
Hi Marvin,

This is a really hard time of year for a lot of people. I can associate. We live in New Orleans (enough said) and many of us are gong through trying times. The home schooling sounds like a good idea though. My sister and my sister-in-law both do it and they have made so many friends and their children are very well educated. I will keep you in my prayers and may St. Therese’s (the Little Flower) sweet face smile down on you and bring your needs to the Lord.

:amen:
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Cleofet,

Thanks so much. Compared to what you guys are going through, my stuff seems trite. I know it can always be worse and I always try to keep that in mind. I’ll pray for you all also and thanks for the advice. God bless you and yours.
 
Hi Marvin, back from Adoration. I prayed a rosary for you and your family. When I got to the Nativity in which the fruit is love of poverty, it came to me that this may be what God is teaching you. Maybe something to meditate on? Also, I am sure that as a man, you are used to action in taking care of your family. So, taking care of a sick baby may make you feel helpless? Rest assured that God is very pleased with your fatherhood. Perhaps, God is also teaching you intercessory and meditative prayer. Anyway, I am no mystic, but I thought I’d pass on my thoughts.
 
JMJ Theresa:
Hi Marvin, back from Adoration. I prayed a rosary for you and your family. When I got to the Nativity in which the fruit is love of poverty, it came to me that this may be what God is teaching you. Maybe something to meditate on? Also, I am sure that as a man, you are used to action in taking care of your family. So, taking care of a sick baby may make you feel helpless? Rest assured that God is very pleased with your fatherhood. Perhaps, God is also teaching you intercessory and meditative prayer. Anyway, I am no mystic, but I thought I’d pass on my thoughts.
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Wow! I’ve had those very same thoughts myself as I’ve reflected on my situation over the past four years. And because of all the “down time” I’ve had time to pray much more than I’ve ever had in my life. In this time I’ve discovered the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the 54 day novena, and many saints and devotions I’d never even heard of such as Saint John of the Cross, believe it or not. I do have a better understanding of people in poverty, the handicapped, people trapped by their circumstances.

This is kind of mind blowing. Thank you for taking the time to say a rosary for me, I will return the favor. Wow. Much to reflect upon. God is great.
 
Dear Marvin,

While I now have a job, for a long time I was unemployed … And being single, that sure doesn’t help you to make friends, so I’ve been pretty much shunned by society and it’s hard to make up for that lost time.

Knowing something of what you’re going through … though not entirely of course … please be assured that I also will say a Rosary for you.

Hoping that God will bless you abundantly in the New Year, 🙂

~~ the phoenix
 
Dear Marvin,
I cannot tell you how moved I was by your post. Thank God for the internet. I live in Ireland, and 20 years ago, would have had no way of learning about your difficulties. I know the power of prayer, and will pray for you daily this week. If you have any more specific prayer requests, please let us know.
Can I ask if you attend a church regularly? Does it provide you with support and encouragement? If not, perhaps there are other parishes which would? It sounds to me like you are in real need of Christian fellowship, and that will be my prayer for you. We need to immerse ourselves in the faith and surround ourselves with the saints (the ones on earth as well as those in heaven.) I too have a cross to bear, although I wouldn’t try to equate my difficulties with yours. I couldn’t go on without the support of Christian friends. Pray, pray pray!! God Bless you.

TP
 
the phoenix:
Dear Marvin,

While I now have a job, for a long time I was unemployed … And being single, that sure doesn’t help you to make friends, so I’ve been pretty much shunned by society and it’s hard to make up for that lost time.

Knowing something of what you’re going through … though not entirely of course … please be assured that I also will say a Rosary for you.

Hoping that God will bless you abundantly in the New Year, 🙂

~~ the phoenix
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Dear Phoenix,

I will pray for you as well. Thanks for taking the time, it sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you. I know about lost time and I empathize.

God bless you and yours and a very happy and prosperous New Year.
 
tenax propositi:
Dear Marvin,
I cannot tell you how moved I was by your post. Thank God for the internet. I live in Ireland, and 20 years ago, would have had no way of learning about your difficulties. I know the power of prayer, and will pray for you daily this week. If you have any more specific prayer requests, please let us know.
Can I ask if you attend a church regularly? Does it provide you with support and encouragement? If not, perhaps there are other parishes which would? It sounds to me like you are in real need of Christian fellowship, and that will be my prayer for you. We need to immerse ourselves in the faith and surround ourselves with the saints (the ones on earth as well as those in heaven.) I too have a cross to bear, although I wouldn’t try to equate my difficulties with yours. I couldn’t go on without the support of Christian friends. Pray, pray pray!! God Bless you.

TP/QUO

Dear Tenax,

Thanks so much for your prayers.

To answer you questions, yes I do attend regularly and receive the sacraments. It keeps me going. I do try to immerse myself in the faith, and it usually gets me through. I guess the holidays sort of compounded everything this year. Sometimes everything sort of happens at once and I find myself feeling very alone.

I’ve really received alot of encouragement just knowing that you good people are out there. I’m starting to feel positive again.
As far as I’m concerned, you are all proof of God’s existence and great love.

Thank you so much for taking the time to pray for me. It means more than anything. I will pray for you and yours as well.

God bless. Have a happy and peaceful New Year.
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hello again. I prayed for you again this morning as I prayed the Joyful Mysteries. I also found this website which may be of help. Perhaps you’ve seen it already:

catholiccharitiesusa.org

God Bless,

TP 🙂
 
You sound like you have plenty of reasons to be down. Sometimes you can’t tackle them directly, so you can just let them go, and go sit before Jesus in the Tabernacle. Tell Him, “I give up. Help me. I trust in You.” If you are too depressed for more conversation with Him, its okay, just sit there and be depressed in His presence. Either take a weekly holy hour or go several times a week for 10 or 15 minutes a time.

Pray your rosary, and if you are too depressed now to do that, say a Hail Mary slowly and reverantly faithfully 3x a day. When you get up, when you eat lunch, when you go to bed.

{Edited out advice of how to tackle depression on a physical level through natural living. Please keep all advice to the spiritual realm.}

And don’t forget the tabernacle. Jesus will give you peace, not peace as the world gives, but peace that passes all understanding. Peace in the midst of a storm, peace in the middle of all these pressures and problems that aren’t yet solved. This is a peace that makes no sense. Thats the kind of peace Jesus gives. Go seek Him in His Tabernacle, as He is truly present in all the tabernacles of he world, and He will give it to you.

Peace.
 
NOTICE:

After much thought, the moderation and administrative staff have decided not to allow solicitation on the forums of people with specific health concerns. While well-intentioned, it does create potentially serious problems.

It is not possible for reliable support to be given in an open forum community. Any advice could, potentially, be dangerous. People experiencing specific health problems should seek a referral to a certified health professional.

Also, CAF simply does not have sufficient moderation and administrative resources at this time to closely monitor all such threads.

However,** it is certainly legitimate to also seek spiritual help for dealing with health problems. Those in need of prayers and the like are encouraged to post in the Spirituality forum.** Nevertheless, if such threads drift into medical advice, we will be forced to close them down.
 
Dear marvin,

Just wanted you to know that I’ve said a Rosary for you, and thank you so much for praying for me in return. 🙂

Your prayer partner in Christ,

~~ the phoenix
 
Are you absolutely sure there isn’t any government assistance or program your son could qualify for? If you have to miss work in order to care for your son’s medical condition, that sounds pretty serious to me. I just don’t believe there isn’t some government subsidy you can get. People get assistance for far less serious problems. I write grants on the side. Maybe I could get you some government assistance. With your permission, I could look into it.
 
Hi all,

I just want to thank everyone who has responded to my post. I appreciate all your prayers, advice and good wishes. I’m much more positive about my situation now. I can’t quite explain it, but things are happening, changes are on the horizon. I’m sure this is a direct result of all of your prayers.

I will continue to pray for all of you, and I hope that you will turn your attention to some of the other folks on the forum who also need prayers.

Once again, thank you all. Something good is on the way. I am grateful and humbled by your goodness and generosity of spirit. As I stated before folks like you are proof of God’s existence.

God bless.
 
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