Really struggling lately

[skigirl1689]

I’ve lived with a very limiting physical condition my entire life that prohibits me from being independent. I graduated from college over a year ago and am living with my parents. I love my parents, but it is a struggle to deal with my parents’ moodiness and bickering sometimes. I do my best to stay out of their issues,

I’ve had no luck finding work as my conditions puts many limits on what I can do. I try to keep occupied but am often affected with the monotony of my days. All of my friends are out of the area so I feel isolated.

I guess I am struggling with finding purpose. I keep worrying about when my parents are gone and having to live in further isolation in an apartment with caregivers coming in as assisted living is not funded for the disabled.

My youngest sister is leaving for college so I think this is adding to my anxieties as I am losing another constant presence in my life, and reminds me my parents are getting older. I want to completely trust God but all I’ve been feeling is fear and that I am just going through the motions, waiting for the end of this life, enduring the pain and fear.

 

[the_phoenix]

an apartment with caregivers coming in as assisted living is not funded for the disabled.

This surprises me. I often spoke by phone with a former CAF member known as Heidi / spiritualunity. She ended up living in a HUD apartment and would have aides come in during the week to assist her, paid for by Medicaid or Medicare I think (I always confuse them). True, it was not everyday or around the clock care. Send me a PM if you like. I’m no expert but maybe I can help you look into something in the state where you live.

I am interested in your talents, abilities, and what you studied.

And I don’t mean to sound flip at all but I would say keep praying.

I believe the Lord has a plan for you.

And I don’t believe in mushy sentimentality, so I’m not just saying it, if you know what I mean.

~~ the phoenix

 

[skigirl1689]

This surprises me. I often spoke by phone with a former CAF member known as Heidi / spiritualunity. She ended up living in a HUD apartment and would have aides come in during the week to assist her, paid for by Medicaid or Medicare I think (I always confuse them). True, it was not everyday or around the clock care. Send me a PM if you like. I’m no expert but maybe I can help you look into something in the state where you live.

I am interested in your talents, abilities, and what you studied.

And I don’t mean to sound flip at all but I would say keep praying.

I believe the Lord has a plan for you.

And I don’t believe in mushy sentimentality, so I’m not just saying it, if you know what I mean.

~~ the phoenix

Thanks so much for your kind words. I know Medicaid covers in-home care, but I am worried I’d be more isolated in an apartment rather than a community setting. It is very confusing as to what is covered and not, but I am well-versed in my state’s laws; it’s just we currently live in a rural area where services are scarce and I do feel more comfortable at home even though I am currently struggling.

I’ve always had faith that God has a plan for me but lately that faith has been slipping so to speak.

I focused on writing and editing in college, graduated with a near perfect 4.0 GPA, but due to the whole living situation needs I have it is nearly impossible to take a job as it depends on the potential job location but that hinges on my living situation. I have spent countless hours looking for anything I can do from home, but I am either unqualified or it requires phone work which I cannot do as I also have a speech impediment. I did have an online social media internship last year but it turned out my boss was a fraud.

I will keep praying and focusing on the Lord instead of my worries. Thank you for the prayers and support!

 

[amslucy]

For what it’s worth, you’re not alone. I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I have a chronic medical condition that has kept me from living independently, and watching all my younger siblings go off to college while I was stuck at home has been really hard. My health recently took an unexpected turn for the better - Deo gratias! - and I am now moving forward with college “at my own pace”, but there were years when the fear, isolation, loss of purpose, pain were almost overwhelming, and even now I’m not sure what happens after college, when all the disability accommodations go away.

You might already be doing this, but if you aren’t, I’d suggest trying to find some volunteer work to do. I was able to do knitting and rosary-making at home, which was definitely better than nothing, even though it really doesn’t fill the need to interact with other people. Obviously, if you can get out and interact with other people, that’s better.

If you can’t make it to Mass on Sundays, don’t hesitate to call the Church office and make arrangements to have Holy Communion brought to you at home (or to receive Confession at home, if/when necessary). Even if you can only sometimes make it to Church, it’s still okay, important even, to ask for whatever help you need to be able to receive the Sacraments.

Also, I’ve sometimes found that, especially on bad days, it is really hard to get up the motivation to pray. This might not apply to you at all, but if it does, you might try “adopting” a person or intention to pray for. There really are other people relying on our prayers. Personally, I’ve never been good at offering things up, but having a concrete intention does seem to help. Sometimes.

I know that’s probably not much help, but those are the things I wish someone had told me and that have helped me. I hope that things get better for you, and that you are able to find peace.

 

[FrStevenJones]

I’ve lived with a very limiting physical condition my entire life that prohibits me from being independent. I graduated from college over a year ago and am living with my parents. I love my parents, but it is a struggle to deal with my parents’ moodiness and bickering sometimes. I do my best to stay out of their issues,

I’ve had no luck finding work as my conditions puts many limits on what I can do. I try to keep occupied but am often affected with the monotony of my days. All of my friends are out of the area so I feel isolated.

I guess I am struggling with finding purpose. I keep worrying about when my parents are gone and having to live in further isolation in an apartment with caregivers coming in as assisted living is not funded for the disabled.

My youngest sister is leaving for college so I think this is adding to my anxieties as I am losing another constant presence in my life, and reminds me my parents are getting older. I want to completely trust God but all I’ve been feeling is fear and that I am just going through the motions, waiting for the end of this life, enduring the pain and fear.

God is going to provide for you. Your situation is tough and you are suffering, but He will provide. Your purpose in life? You are in a position where you may pray more than most others. You have the time. May I suggest you start doing a holy hour every day, at home. Find a space where you can set up a little altar and some paintings of Mary and your favorite saints. Get a crucifix you like and put it on the wall, above the altar.

During your holy hours thank God for any gifts you’ve received from Him in the past 24 hours, and ask forgiveness for any sins. Praise and love your Lord, even in the depths of misery, when we do this, God fills us with joy. Intercede for other people, and pray to the saints. Tell God about your life, your problems, your challenges, your fears. Pray for the specific ways you want God to improve and grow you. Make a written list of specific prayer intentions, and add to it every day. Ask your friends to call or email you with things they want you to pray for.

Get a copy of Christian Prayer “Liturgy of the hours” and begin with Morning and Evening prayer, then gradually add night prayer, daytime prayer, and Office of Readings.

Get a list of classic Catholic books on spirituality and theology and do 30 minutes a day of spiritual reading, this will grow your faith, your prayers, and your knowledge of God.

Pray the Rosary every day and ask for the Blessed. Mother’s intercession for yourself and others who are physically disabled. Have someone take you once a month to confess your sins. Attend Mass when someone will drive you, otherwise have someone from Church bring you Holy Communion as often as possible.

Whenever you hear the voice of the Evil One, who says “everything will turn out badly”, or “you need to be afraid”, repudiate that lie and say"get behind me, Satan, I put my trust in Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father, I am helpless and little, please provide for me, I trust in you."

Your Heavenly Father only allows something bad, like suffering, if He is going to use that suffering to bring out an even greater good for the world. Trust Him, and cast your life into His hands, in prayer.

I will be praying for you, take courage, my friend, your Heavenly Father will provide, put your trust and faith in Him, He is watching over you!

 

[St_Francis]

Wow, Fr Jones is a hard act to follow!

Skigirl, You’ve gotten great advice–I don’t really have anything to add except that I will pray for you. I too live in a rural area, altho I am not handicapped but I understand about the isolation.


Annie

 

[Viki63]

I focused on writing and editing in college, graduated with a near perfect 4.0 GPA, but due to the whole living situation needs I have it is nearly impossible to take a job a!

This caught my attention.
I attended a seminar on writing ebooks yesterday that was very interesting. I don’t know whether you would be interested in writing for a living, but there is certainly a market for online books. There were about a dozen women at this seminar, all of whom started with very limited resources, struggling to make ends meet, and now all of them are making at least a decent living, and some make millions each year.
They are writing what the market demands, which in most cases, I’m sorry to say, is “hot” literature, and stories about vampire romance. None of which interests me, nor I daresay, you either.
But Christians need books to read also. We need many more books that are not just trash, but good for our souls as well as entertaining. If you don’t feel like writing fiction, you could choose a nonfiction topic that interests you.
If you don’t want to write, you could consider becoming an editor, because all those writers are looking for people to check their work for typos, help them with editing, help them format and so on.
Just a couple of suggestions.

 

[skigirl1689]

Thank you for the prayers, I really appreciate all of the support, Today has been better, so I am thankful for the small improvement.

For what it’s worth, you’re not alone. I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I have a chronic medical condition that has kept me from living independently, and watching all my younger siblings go off to college while I was stuck at home has been really hard. My health recently took an unexpected turn for the better - Deo gratias! - and I am now moving forward with college “at my own pace”, but there were years when the fear, isolation, loss of purpose, pain were almost overwhelming, and even now I’m not sure what happens after college, when all the disability accommodations go away.

You might already be doing this, but if you aren’t, I’d suggest trying to find some volunteer work to do. I was able to do knitting and rosary-making at home, which was definitely better than nothing, even though it really doesn’t fill the need to interact with other people. Obviously, if you can get out and interact with other people, that’s better.

If you can’t make it to Mass on Sundays, don’t hesitate to call the Church office and make arrangements to have Holy Communion brought to you at home (or to receive Confession at home, if/when necessary). Even if you can only sometimes make it to Church, it’s still okay, important even, to ask for whatever help you need to be able to receive the Sacraments.

Also, I’ve sometimes found that, especially on bad days, it is really hard to get up the motivation to pray. This might not apply to you at all, but if it does, you might try “adopting” a person or intention to pray for. There really are other people relying on our prayers. Personally, I’ve never been good at offering things up, but having a concrete intention does seem to help. Sometimes.

I know that’s probably not much help, but those are the things I wish someone had told me and that have helped me. I hope that things get better for you, and that you are able to find peace.

I will pray for you as well! Your situation sounds so similar to mine. I appreciate the advice. I was doing some volunteering online but my contact is not getting back with me for whatever reason, and I kind of feel like he just used me and now just left me hanging with nothing. It’s frustrating.

I do make it to church most Sundays and this helps. I do have trouble praying at times so I will be more conscious of deliberately praying for others.

God is going to provide for you. Your situation is tough and you are suffering, but He will provide. Your purpose in life? You are in a position where you may pray more than most others. You have the time. May I suggest you start doing a holy hour every day, at home. Find a space where you can set up a little altar and some paintings of Mary and your favorite saints. Get a crucifix you like and put it on the wall, above the altar.

During your holy hours thank God for any gifts you’ve received from Him in the past 24 hours, and ask forgiveness for any sins. Praise and love your Lord, even in the depths of misery, when we do this, God fills us with joy. Intercede for other people, and pray to the saints. Tell God about your life, your problems, your challenges, your fears. Pray for the specific ways you want God to improve and grow you. Make a written list of specific prayer intentions, and add to it every day. Ask your friends to call or email you with things they want you to pray for.

Get a copy of Christian Prayer “Liturgy of the hours” and begin with Morning and Evening prayer, then gradually add night prayer, daytime prayer, and Office of Readings.

Get a list of classic Catholic books on spirituality and theology and do 30 minutes a day of spiritual reading, this will grow your faith, your prayers, and your knowledge of God.

Pray the Rosary every day and ask for the Blessed. Mother’s intercession for yourself and others who are physically disabled. Have someone take you once a month to confess your sins. Attend Mass when someone will drive you, otherwise have someone from Church bring you Holy Communion as often as possible.

Whenever you hear the voice of the Evil One, who says “everything will turn out badly”, or “you need to be afraid”, repudiate that lie and say"get behind me, Satan, I put my trust in Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father, I am helpless and little, please provide for me, I trust in you."

Your Heavenly Father only allows something bad, like suffering, if He is going to use that suffering to bring out an even greater good for the world. Trust Him, and cast your life into His hands, in prayer.

I will be praying for you, take courage, my friend, your Heavenly Father will provide, put your trust and faith in Him, He is watching over you!

Thank you Fr. Jones, this really has helped and encouraged me.