Really struggling with lustful thoughts and self-gratification

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Salve995

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I’d been able to get rid of the temptation for a few months, but now it’s back in full force. I used to like reading erotica stories, but I quit after years. Well, I read one this morning, but it didn’t “entertain” me as it did in the past. In fact, it just left me feeling empty. I am also dealing with a hormonal imbalance that triggers arousals at such inopportune times (any time is inopportune really). I don’t do anything except for self-gratifying, if you catch my drift.

I have been praying to the Virgin, Our Lord, and a couple of saints to help me overcome this, but it seems I give in to it quite easily. My reason is subject to my flesh, and I’m not sure how to free it. Sometimes I do it because the “itch” is maddening and does not allow me to think or do much of anything else.

What would you recommend? I feel a bit desperate and filthy with sin.
 
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Avoid all porn or erotic stories or anything along those lines. Find whatever is triggering this behaviour so you can recognise where you’re heading and so that you can avoid it. If you feel aroused, do something else that’s distracting… go for a walk or phone somebody up etc. 1 Corinthians 10:13 assures us that there is a way to avoid it… so look for that way. Practice vigilance.
 
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I can’t go for a walk there’s nowhere to walk around here and I don’t have a car and nearly the entire world is on lockdown. Also, I don’t have friends.
 
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Perhaps you should try fasting. That works for me. It works because when I feel the hunger, it is intense enough to overpower the lustful thoughts. Give it a shot. 🙂
 
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Well, there are a trillion other things to do. The choice is never “porn or death”.

Read. You can get free books online from Project Gutenberg or your library.

Take a class or two online, learn a new language, learn an instrument. Draw landscapes. Do exercises in your room. Soulcore has some free videos of their workouts.

Learn to knit or to make knotted cord rosaries. Make virtual visits to masses around the would as everyone is now streaming on Facebook or Youtube.
 
You’re assuming I don’t read. I have a ton of books. I already do a lot of the things you’re suggesting.

Guess what? Does not always work. I keep thinking about “it” until I find release. See my problem?

How am I supposed to learn to knit when I don’t have the materials and shops are closed? Same applies to learning to play a new instrument. How when we’re in quarantine and people are clearly not working. Instruments are not exactly cheap.

Please, do not suggest things that are not quarantine-appropriate.

Also, libraries are closed because of the quarantine. The pandemic is all over the news, by the way.

Yeah, there’s Amazon, but I stated my problem. It’s not as easy as distracting myself. I am going stir-crazy, and I don’t even like to go out much. I say I don’t because I was accustomed, against my will, to stay at home as much as possible.
 
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Hi there,

Daily Rosary, invoking Our Lady as Virgin Most Powerful, and invoking the Names of Jesus and Mary throughout the day. This isn’t a secret formula. It’s a matter of giving up trying to do it on our own, turning to THE Woman for help, and deciding to accept Jesus’s call to fight WITH us. He has gone before us, and He invites us to become united to Him, even while we fight to avoid sin. It’s an opportunity to become one with Him in His death. Let that be an encouragement. He is on our side! Please let me know if you’d like me to clarify on any of this.

God gave us our sexuality as a way to be creative. While we must be patient and practice perfect continuance, how else can you be creative in the meantime? Even hobbies can be done with love if they are part of your fight for freedom and virtue. Charity is imperative. We find ourselves when we give of ourselves. Ponder how you can perform the corporal and spiritual works of mercy day to day. The fight for chastity is a call to become the man / woman God created us to be. I’m saying this from experience. I’m in the middle of it right now.

Have you tried Covenant Eyes? It will also change how you fight. Look into The Porn Effect by Matt Fradd and Integrity Restored by Dr. Peter Kleponis. Also, spiritual reading about Theology of the Body has helped me to better revere both man and woman.

Self-knowledge is a gift from God and is crucial. We often lust as a method to cope with existing problems in our life. Is loneliness, stress, anger a factor at play? Porn and masturbation put our maturity on hold and keep us from properly working through the issues we face in life. I have gone to counseling. It has helped me in this area tremendously.

Mortification. It makes the fight for virtue become easier, not harder as time goes on. Cold showers, regular sleep, regular exercise, limited screen time, etc. All with love.

Good for you for reaching out. Thank you for your holy example of humility. The evil one wants us to hold onto shame and discouragement, and eventually fall into despair. Renounce these in prayer in Jesus’s Name. The Father cares about every aspect of your life, joyful and sorrowful. Putting your struggle out in the open fights against the enemy.

Spiritual fatherhood and brotherhood are key. Do you have a priest or deacon you trust? Do you have guys you know who you can confide in and rely on? Fatherhood and brotherhood is such a gift. And it’s necessary, if you ask me.

I will pray for you. Again, please ask any questions. I am hopeful for what God has planned for you. My journey out of sin and toward Him has been difficult but amazing. And I’m not even done yet!
 
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I invoke Mary and Jesus’ name, and guess what? I give in soon after (we’re talking in a matter of seconds).

I have noticed I have been turning to it when I’m stressed. I was able to resist it for so long, and I’m not sure what’s changed. Again, I think it’s hormonal imbalance coupled with loneliness.
 
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CatholicSpirit said:
The problem is though, just messing up once in Catholicism is enough to send you to hell.
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This is not true. It’s an erroneous view of God’s mercy which surpasses our accumulated offenses. Offenses are damning only when a sinner refuses to repent. Otherwise, God forgives almost everything.

The problem is that you’re spreading an erroneous view. Please, pick up a Catechism of the Catholic Church. So you’ll excuse me if I take the rest of your advice with a grain of salt.
 
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CatholicSpirit said:
The problem is though, just messing up once in Catholicism is enough to send you to hell.
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Salve995 said:
This is not true. It’s an erroneous view of God’s mercy which surpasses our accumulated offenses.
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It depends how you look at it. One mortal sin for which one has not repented through confession (or at least the desire to go to confession when confession is not possible) is enough to lose one’s salvation.

As to your original question, I have been there and have learned that I have to be vigilant about avoiding the near occasion of sin. To borrow Nancy Reagan’s adage, “Just say no.” It really comes down to that – whatever leads you to sin (even before committing the sin itself), just say no to doing it and find something else to do instead. Habitual prayer and regular reception of the sacraments (when possible) is also important. Online support groups related to habitual self-gratification can be helpful as well.
 
Salve995 said:
How am I supposed to learn to knit when I don’t have the materials and shops are closed? Same applies to learning to play a new instrument.
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I can only speak for the USA.

WalMart is open every day where you can buy not only groceries but guitars and yarn and paint by numbers and many other things.

Our public libraries have online access to books, audio books, graphic novels, movies, music through Overdrive or Hoopla Digital or similar services. Our library is also doing curbside pickup/drop off.

Amazon has many free books, and as I said, there are others.
Salve995 said:
Please, do not suggest things that are not quarantine-appropriate.
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Not really sure what that means. Watching a video from Soulcore for exercise can be done all alone in your living room, as can jumping jacks and push ups.

Is your physician treating your hormone imbalance?

Seems that your replies come from a negative place. Perhaps simply working on gratitude?
 
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