Reasons someone should stay single...at least for now

[MarcoPolo]

I wanted to start a thread where people could post reasons why they think a person, who would otherwise like to pursue dating/courting, would be better served by staying single (even if only temporarily).

Is there a reason why you are seeking reasons to remain single versus seeking reasons why you should pursue or welcome a mate? The motivation for the question may affect the answer, no?

 

[Trident_H]

Because finding a childless man at my age is impossible. Tried online and they weren’t serious or didn’t like me.

I’m sorry that I didn’t follow my own advice on this. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. Instead of asking you questions first. I mean I thought I knew best, but really I just was projecting myself onto others again. I do that. I’ve really got to stop it. I don’t even realize I’m doing it.

Can you forgive me on this? I didn’t mean to cause you grief if I did. And I didn’t mean to get so carried away like that.

Peace.

-Trident

 

[MadetoLove]

This thread took an interesting turn.

TeachCatechism, I read an article not too long ago. The main message was something like this:

“If the devil can’t convince you to sin in your relationships with others, he will then try to convince you that you are not worthy of a truly wonderful [and healthy] relationship.”

I dated someone once who had a long history of drug/alcohol addiction. Yeah.
I didn’t want to be alone (addicted to love?) and so I pursued this relationship, thinking it was going to magically work itself out. It didn’t. Our relationship is over. Dead.
This man is off drugs for the time being thanks be to God, but I still have to pray everyday for the next several years that he won’t slide back and put himself…and our daughter…at risk. Wait for a God-fearing man who will truly sweep you off your feet and be your best friend. If it’s God’s Will, he is out there. God is a greater romantic than we are, please don’t limit Him

Trident, if you’d like, I will pray for you. There is power in the name of Jesus. He can break any chain.

 

[Trident_H]

This thread took an interesting turn.

Yeah. Sorry about that.

For what it’s worth, a lot of our long talk is off the record here. Off in PM land. So yeah. I’m thinking she knows what she’s up to. And yeah. She forgave me. Just in case this looked like it ended in a cliff hanger. It didn’t.

Trident, if you’d like, I will pray for you. There is power in the name of Jesus. He can break any chain.

Please. Please. Please. And thank you. That’s a fantastic offer. Really. I need that stuff.

Peace. And thanks.

-Trident

 

[Sarcelle]

This thread took an interesting turn.

TeachCatechism, I read an article not too long ago. The main message was something like this:

“If the devil can’t convince you to sin in your relationships with others, he will then try to convince you that you are not worthy of a truly wonderful [and healthy] relationship.”

I dated someone once who had a long history of drug/alcohol addiction. Yeah.
I didn’t want to be alone (addicted to love?) and so I pursued this relationship, thinking it was going to magically work itself out. It didn’t. Our relationship is over. Dead.
This man is off drugs for the time being thanks be to God, but I still have to pray everyday for the next several years that he won’t slide back and put himself…and our daughter…at risk. Wait for a God-fearing man who will truly sweep you off your feet and be your best friend. If it’s God’s Will, he is out there. God is a greater romantic than we are, please don’t limit Him

Trident, if you’d like, I will pray for you. There is power in the name of Jesus. He can break any chain.

Good advice.

Anyway, I can understand where TeachCatechism is coming from. To be a single woman is to bear a stigma, a mark that she as a woman has failed. Everyone knows a real woman gets married and has babies in short order. Granted Catholics do make allowances for women who are nuns. But a woman who is neither a nun or a wife? What is wrong with her?

I walk into mass sometimes expecting to be called an abomination because I come in alone.

 

[Andre1000]

My reasons are because I am a coward loser who cannot find a real job, is barely able to pay for himself and women don’t like me anyway.

 

[Trident_H]

My reasons are because I am a coward loser who cannot find a real job, is barely able to pay for himself and women don’t like me anyway.

Well that’s a harsh road buddy. But I’m sure the many hands here’ll think of a fix. I mean we’re now gonna want to know why women don’t like you. We’re gonna want to know what makes you a coward loser. And we’re gonna want to help you get a real job.

So let’s start with the first bit. Why don’t they like you? What have you done to womankind that has them running from you in packs of 10? I mean you know you. You’ve got to have a guess.

As for the coward bit. Yeah. I know all about that. That’s me too. A bit shy on the inside. And on the outside. Sometimes makes me hide from things. From stuff I should deal with. Well buddy. I’m trying really hard these days to get over that fence. It’s not an easy thing. But I’m doing it. It’s an extrovert world. There’s no place for us timid types. We should sort of band together. We should sort of get into groups of 2s and 3s and get things done that way. But we haven’t yet. We’re just not that organized. And I guess we’re sorta too shy to even talk to each other. I guess.

And I think your job problems are related. I think that if you weren’t so afraid of failure you’d reach out more. You’d climb more hills and get more ‘you’ in the picture. You’d be bold. And people pay bold people more. So that’s a thing.

But I mean we’ve got to work on one thing at a time. Since women are attracted to success. And since success takes off the loser mantle. And since not being a loser helps you to be less of a coward. And since being less of a coward helps you meet and be attractive to women. We’ve got a whole cycle we gotta break. Where do you want to start?

No sense me pitching all kinds of advice at you if you already know. If you already know where you’d like to start with this.

Peace.

-Trident

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Make and keep a wide range of friends.

(Over the years, as an Asperger, I was blessed to have a job but wasted time drinking instead of paying attention to all sorts of interesting things.)

I get the impression lots of chaps are only half sorted-out as to skills, attitudes etc then are too much a burden on their wives.

I want a wide range of people to be there for the future Mrs as well as me, and us to be there for them.