Recent Miscarriage & Seeking Information

[MySon2006]

Good Evening …

Within the past week I have suffered a miscarriage at
14 weeks.

I am 35 years old married to a great man and the proud
mother of a two year old son.

I am finding it difficult to understand and “absorb” if you
will all that has gone on this past week. I have barely slept
and I am due to return to work tomorrow.

Is there a place I go to to research on what the church
offers in situations like this?

I am not bitter nor angry … I just feel so empty and lost.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Belle10]

I’m so sorry for your loss. :hug1:

I suffered a miscarriage about 1 1/2 years ago at about 4 or 5 weeks. I know the pain is great, but God will help you.

There are many women (and men) here who have been through miscarriages who I’m sure will have some wonderful advice for you. There is a thread in the Parenting section called “Mommies of Little Saints” where many people share their pain and grieving, and I thought you might want to know about it:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=216195

I’ll pray for your family now. Know that your little one is seeing Jesus’ glorious face this moment.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

A few months back, I saw this by Mother Angelica

Miscarriage Prayer

My Lord, the baby is dead!

Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?

“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.

You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.
– Mother M. Angelica

from the prayers section at: ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayer_saint.htm . I found it very helpful.

I actually think Belle posted this, and it was right at the time I needed it the most (thanks again Belle).

Again, I’m sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[drafdog]

Find a good psychotherapist. My wife derived great benefit from a group therapy program for women who had suffered miscarriages. It need not be specifically Catholic or even Christian. All women who have miscarriages suffer a similar sense of loss and discouragement. Get professional help.

There is also a post-partum blessing when the child has died in the Roman Ritual. Go to your parish priest and ask for the blessing. You’d be surprised how powerful this can be.

Matthew

 

[nova147]

I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage in 2007 and the pain is indescribable. I pray that you will find peace in Christ.

Please talk with your priest about ways to commemorate your child. I know others will come along with links, but there are some online memorials for children lost to miscarriage. I also support the idea of therapy. A good therapist can help you in the grief process, especially in the beginning when it is especially tough.

I want to share one bit of my personal experience (which may be different from yours). At first, I felt the way you do - empty and sad. But within a few weeks, I went though some pretty angry times. My confessor gave me a good piece of advice. He told me it was ok to be angry at God – God is big enough and loving enough to handle my anger. It really helped me to know that I wasn’t expected to be rational or “deal with it”. I hope you never have those feelings, but if you do. . . well, it’s ok.

I will keep you in my prayers.

MJ

 

[Jennifer_J]

innocents.com/shrine.asp

This is a shrine at the Church of the Holy Innocents. You can have your child’s name inscribed in the book of Life and Masses will be offered for your child and you can receive a certificate with your child’s name on it. This can be very healing, affirming that your baby was here, even for a brief time.

Prayers for you.

 

[kevinsgirl]

:hug1: I am so sorry for your loss.:hug1:

I am also going through grieving a child I miscarried a month ago. Some days are better than others, but it is very hard–especially when you are expected to a carry on as if nothing has changed.

The pp’s have all given you great suggestions…I have nothing to add except that you are in my prayers.

 

[MySon2006]

Good Evening Everyone …

I rushed home today. It was my first day back and it
was rough.

To come home and see so many responses has moved me.
A sincere thank you to each of you for taking the time
to answer me. It means a great a lot.

Many good suggestions and I will definately follow up with each of them.

I think what has been so hurtful during all of this is the medical response to it all … so cold and empty. I know it wouldn’t be pratical for Physicians and their staff to get emotionally involved with each of their patients but it wouldn’t hurt to be a bit more compassionate. It is a life we are talking about …

Once again thank you! I look forward to participating more often in these forums. I find them not only informative but a great place to pass to meet others just like me.

Thank you and many blessings to all!

 

[allhers]

Rest well and know that even though many do not respond, that probably everyone who reads your posts has said a prayer for you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I particularly liked Mother Angelica’s prayer when I first ran across it too. God bless you and may His Mother comfort you in the loss of your baby. One other thing, I didn’t notice anyone mentioning it is that you could ask your Pastor to say a Mass for your baby, if you haven’t already done so.

 

[masondoggy]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

:hug1:

 

[yessisan]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby this past December… his due date is coming up in 2 wks… the pain I’ve suffered is incredible. There are no words to describe a thing like this.

The other posters have said great things… I just wanted to come and offer you my prayers and condolences. Oh, actually, speak to your pastor. My Pastor helped me more than anyone… his words are still stuck in my head. He told me to thank God for having had the gift of the baby whether or not I knew what the outcome of being pregnant with him for such little time is. He let me cry on his shoulder while he hugged me and said the nicest words to me. The Church has a special blessing for those parents who have lost their babies before birth… you should talk to your pastor about it.

Again, I’m really sorry for your loss. I hope you join us in the thread Bellle mentioned above.