Reconciliation?

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outfctrl

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This happened last week.
First, a little about me.
I have a high stressed job, construction Estimator. It was Monday last week this happened. That whole day, I was putting out fires, bids were due, 10 cups of coffee, amongst other issues happening.
I was on my way home and stopped to get a carton of smokes from a local Hess station. Normally, the carton costs around 25.00. They were out of my brand. So I went to this little store down the road from me, knowing I would pay around 3 dollars more.
Anyways, I get the carton and hand her my card and she rings up 31.00. I lost it. I ranted and raved, swore at her (she is a tiny Korean woman) and said she was price gouging. I used a few four letter words and left.
Anyways, a few days later, I realized I must have scared the, you know what out of her. I am 6foot-1 inches tall, muscular and can be very intimidating at times.
That Friday, I pulled into the store and apologized to no end. I had tears iin my eyes, knowing how I must have scared her. She kept saying “Dont worry about it”. I insisted what a jerk I was and that I had no right to treat you this way. She accepted my apologies…finally.
I went to confession the following Saturday, just knowing it must have been a mortal sin to belittle someone so innocent.

Question is: Is it a mortal sin, even after I reconcile with her?

Then after Mass Sunday, on my way home, I was riding my motorcycle and a person on a bicycle runs a red light in front of me, almost hit him and I screamed out Jesus then a four letter word without thinking.
Here I am committing another mortal sin AND I JUST LEFT MASS!!!
I must be the sorriest Catholic ever born. I cant imagine God still caring about me how I am.

I am so wretched
 
outfctrl said:
Question is: Is it a mortal sin, even after I reconcile with her?

Then after Mass Sunday, on my way home, I was riding my motorcycle and a person on a bicycle runs a red light in front of me, almost hit him and I screamed out Jesus then a four letter word without thinking.
Here I am committing another mortal sin AND I JUST LEFT MASS!!!
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Reconciling with the lady doesn’t change the fact that you verbally abused her, so, yes, it’s still a sin and you were right to confess it.

The second thing I’m not so sure is a mortal sin. Notice the words I have bolded in your last question. You cannot commit a mortal sin without intending to. When you used our Lord’s name in vain, you were in an emotionally charged, stressful situation and did not take time to consider what you were saying. It has not been that long since your reconversion to Jesus, and I’m quite sure it’s reasonable to assume that you were accustomed to using colorful language prior to that conversion. Under great stress (and almost killing somebody is certainly great stress), people slip back into old habits without thinking.

It is an excellent thing to try your level best to rid yourself of the habit of speaking this way. God is a loving parent who sees your effort and intention to use His name with respect and certainly understands a slip-up. I’d say venial sin at most. But, since you confess every week (still doing that, right?), go ahead and mention it, but include a bit of context so the priest can guide you.

Don’t beat yourself up. No Catholic is perfect. If we were, there wouldn’t be a need for Confession. Keep trying - you’re doing just fine.

Betsy
 
Some of the worst behavior I have exhibited came right after either Mass, or adoration.

I know it seems to be the “least likely” time to do such things.

In my experience, its the most likely.

You are not the worst Catholic. You are human, and striving to do better.

Hang in there. Praying for you:)
 
outfctrl said:
Here I am committing another mortal sin AND I JUST LEFT MASS!!!
I must be the sorriest Catholic ever born.
Click to expand...
When I first came back to the Church I had arranged a meeting with our pastor for my confession. Afterwards, as I was leaving the rectory, I looked at my watch and immediately swore and took the Lord’s name in vain because I saw I had just taken up over two hours of the pastor’s time. I had just walked out of the door!:rotfl:

I felt terrible and thought how miserable I was. But remember, no matter what we do or don’t do, say or don’t say, Jesus is always inviting us to be his friend and follower each day. He is willing to forgive if we just ask, are sorry, and try to do better. Understanding the last part is important - try. We are not perfect and we will often fail. We just need to keep sincerely trying and remember God loves all of us. Confession is a great sacrament. I’m a big fan.

Excited utterances and things said out of habit are just what they are. Unintended statements. We need to work on them to break the old habits and learn new ones and certainly confess them when they are said. But, they’re generally not mortal sins. The reason why we confess them anyway is that our confessor may be able to help us have a better appreciation for the importance of words and help us to overcome our old ways. The grace from the sacrament itself can go a long way to helping us overcome this type of thing. Habits like these are very hard to break.
 
Have you considered Anger Management? Perhaps go to church after work or something and be in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. If the church is locked, then before you go to bed, just examine your conscience. Go over each situation in which you reacted in a negative way. Try to find other ways of handling the situation and resolve to do better next time. Say a prayer before work every morning asking God to remind you that Christ is present in each person you encounter and ask Him to to help you maintain a positive outlook on life.

Another thing you may want to do is give up smoking. People do get tense if they don’t get a chance to smoke. I know it won’t be easy to do, but it’s a cross that you can carry with the help of Jesus.
 
Thats the thing. I am not an angry person. I rarely get upset. Thats why this incident really affected me this way.

It was a compound of some problems with my paycheck and stress in my job. I basically lost it with that woman because I guess all the puzzle pieces fit at that moment.

I cant remember tha last time I was upset before that. I treat people the way I want to be treated. Always.

I just really screwed up that day and it ate away at my concience all week.

I try and go to confession on a weekly basis, but as time goes by, I seem to confess the same sins, over and over. I try so hard to do what is right, but I fail consistently. I am sure the priest is tired of listening to the same sins over and over.

Two weeks ago, I missed confession. I couldnt receive because, well being single, you know what I did with myself. Anyways, I felt so empty after leaving Mass. I went to confession last week and was able to receive. It was so much better.

Now I have to make it to next Sunday without… you know. I will make it and I will receive without confession next week. That is a promise I made to the Lord and myself. I still swore after Mass and I feel that was a Mortal sin. I swear, I cant win.

I see all these people at Mass receiving Communion, but I dont see 1/10th of them at Confession. How do they do it? Are they receiving in Mortal sin? I would never do that.
 
It really doesn’t matter if it was a mortal sin (I don’t see it as one) or not, as it was confessed and reconciled.

Buy the lady a small bouquet of flowers. 👍
 
I think it was wonderful of you t go back and apologize to the lady.
👍

I wouldn’t call you the “sorriest catholic around”, it rather sounds like you are under a lot of stress. myself I would not call myself an angry person either, but sometimes when I am stressed or under a lot of anxiety about something I can get very rritable (mostly I keep it inside, which I guess isn’t healthy either).

I think it’s us people who want to be good and suppress our stress that sometimes just lash out - without meaning to. And then feel very sorry about it later.

The cussing - I think it IS also a matter of habit. Teach yourself to use less bad terms.😉 Especially not the Lord’s name in vain.

You did go to confession, and we are all only human, and that is what confession is for: To say we are sorry for what we did wrong. To reconcile with the Lord.

When I get stressed and angry, I try to take it as a sign that I need to work on my stress levels… I don’t think we are doing anybody a favor if we are taking on so much that it starts to break us down.

Kathrin
 
if I have another day like yesterday the church is going to have to rethink its policy on confession via cellphone. Is road rage an acute or chronic disease? the people down here are the nicest, kindest, most polite of any part of the country, but put them behind a wheel of a car, and whoosh the death wish and the anger come out. I am also getting a hunch that a lot of the people in the confession line with me have the same type of thing to confess–because we start getting mad with each other, who is taking cuts (how 3rd grade is that) who is taking too long in there, whose bratty kid is acting up. we have to confess the confession, can’t even get out of church afterward without kicking somebody.
 
I have been back in the Church for a year and a half, after an absence of close to 30 years. Cursing and taking the Lord’s name in vain is something I did for all of those 30 years without a thought.

Now that I have accepted that it’s wrong I have been working hard to stop. Finally, just in the past month or so I find I can go one or two days without doing it. There’s a lot of truth to the saying that old habits die hard.

I don’t think you’re a sorry Catholic at all. You have simply identified something you need to work on.
 
“sorriest catholic ever born…”
Brother… I think that label belongs to me…and I was not even born a Catholic… anyway I guess it is true what the apostle Paul said: with the law came the recognition of sin… but also remember… Jesus came for people just like you and me…
besides I think you sound like a really nice person… a passionate person for sure but thats not a bad thing.
 
Hellisreal said:
Some of the worst behavior I have exhibited came right after either Mass, or adoration.

I know it seems to be the “least likely” time to do such things.

In my experience, its the most likely.

You are not the worst Catholic. You are human, and striving to do better.

Hang in there. Praying for you:)
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I have had bad thoughts while in Eucharistic Adoration! Also I have fallen into mortal sin a day after confession too. I know it is the devil just trying to make us give up trying to be holy. My priest always tells me to pray the St. Michael prayer. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray. Do thou O’ Prince of the heavenly host by the power of God cast into hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
I have blown up at people without thinking, too - one time I was behind a lady who was making a U-turn right across my path, and just about hit me - I saw that she was babbling away on her cell phone, totally oblivious to the fact that she had just about run into me, so I stopped the car, jumped out, and screamed at her to get off the (bleeping) phone, before she kills somebody. :mad:

You should have seen her face; I don’t even think she knew there was anybody in the street until I started yelling at her. :o 😊
 
outfctrl said:
Thats the thing. I am not an angry person. I rarely get upset. Thats why this incident really affected me this way.

It was a compound of some problems with my paycheck and stress in my job. I basically lost it with that woman because I guess all the puzzle pieces fit at that moment.

I cant remember tha last time I was upset before that. I treat people the way I want to be treated. Always.

I just really screwed up that day and it ate away at my concience all week.

I try and go to confession on a weekly basis, but as time goes by, I seem to confess the same sins, over and over. I try so hard to do what is right, but I fail consistently. I am sure the priest is tired of listening to the same sins over and over.

Two weeks ago, I missed confession. I couldnt receive because, well being single, you know what I did with myself. Anyways, I felt so empty after leaving Mass. I went to confession last week and was able to receive. It was so much better.

Now I have to make it to next Sunday without… you know. I will make it and I will receive without confession next week. That is a promise I made to the Lord and myself. I still swore after Mass and I feel that was a Mortal sin. I swear, I cant win.

I see all these people at Mass receiving Communion, but I dont see 1/10th of them at Confession. How do they do it? Are they receiving in Mortal sin? I would never do that.
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From what I have read on your posts in this thread, you seem like a decent person, who repents when he sins (this is not always easy). Frankly, most people get upset, and from what you have said here I can’t see much you did wrong, except misuse the holy name of Jesus. I sometimes get surprised at how upset I can get with others.

Keep going to Confession as you need to, but I advise to pray for guidance, and don’t let scrupulosity ruin your relationship with God. I want to clarify, that I don’t know your situation, so go to Confession whenever you need to. If you know a good priest, he may be able to offer you help.
 
Im new to the church in a sense. i was born in and raised catholic I did up to first communion and then my parents stopped going to church and we strayed away. we always kept Jesus in our hearts. Well anyway its been a long time and Im returning to the church as an adult myself. I had many horrible sins on me so the first thing i did was make a general confession. This being my 2nd confession ever I did my best to find everything in my past. I had about 18 years under my belt so I made an appointment to do this. I had so much stuff to confess that when one came to mind I put it under the category in which it would be under by the commandments or the bible and when I couldn’t find where it would go i would just state it as it was. I went to confession and I told the priest the situation and I told him if he needed more detail that he could ask. for some sins I knew i committed more than once and didn’t know exactly how many times I stated that I did them many times or numerous times. He didn’t ask me any questions and he said I made a good confession. as far as my knowledge goes of my past sin I stated it all yet im worried that because i did not state everything in detail that it might not count some how.

should i worry or am i just over thinking it?
 
newone said:
should i worry or am i just over thinking it?
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Overthinking. You don’t need to tell every gory detail of every sin. You’d have to be in there a month! Since the priest did not ask for further details, you can safely assume you were specific enough. Be at peace. And come back to confession soon - 3 or 4 weeks would be good!

Betsy
 
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