C
cajunrph
Guest
Thank you for the prayers. I’m still struggling mightily with this. I still love her deeply. For some reason I can’t shake her. I’ve been praying novenas for her. St Jude, St Joseph, Flying Novena. The latest was the pentecost novena. I haven’t spoke with her since in two weeks. If it didn’t end so strangely I wouldn’t pursue it. But I know she didn’t want to end the relationship. And she’s told me she loved me each time we spoke. She just says the spark is gone. She dosen’t know how to pursue love. What keeps me here is that if she learned that she would be just about perfect for me. And if she doesn’t learn that she will never have a sustainable relationship. This time she isn’t rushing into another relationship. She says she is ok being single. I told her that’s partly because she knows I’m still loving her so deeply. I don’t know. Are we not to boldly ask God for the desires of our hearts? God is the all knowing, all powerful, ever living creator of the universe. He can move mountains, split seas, heal the sick, give sight to the blind and restore hearing to the deaf. He can fix our hearts as well. And that’s what I pray for. Lynette’s and my Heart to be fixed to love as true husbands and wives love. For us to reunite and marry living a long, healthy, prosperous and happy live together. I sometimes add if that is not God’s will that God will send our perfect spouse to us. One we can love as true husband and wives love. Marrying and living a long, happy, prosperous life together.
Am I wrong to ask for this? Is my faith keeping my heart with her. Is my faith prolonging my misery? Twice in church I have broken down and cried. Asking for her and asking for healing. No one knew I was crying. It was just tears. No audible crying. My heart was hurting. It still does.
I still pray now for her. But I also ask for healing of my heart. I truly don’t know what God wants me to do here. I see signs both ways. To stick it out and to just drop it and move on. As of now I just can’t drop it. I can’t think of a life without her. I just can’t.
Am I wrong to ask for this? Is my faith keeping my heart with her. Is my faith prolonging my misery? Twice in church I have broken down and cried. Asking for her and asking for healing. No one knew I was crying. It was just tears. No audible crying. My heart was hurting. It still does.
I still pray now for her. But I also ask for healing of my heart. I truly don’t know what God wants me to do here. I see signs both ways. To stick it out and to just drop it and move on. As of now I just can’t drop it. I can’t think of a life without her. I just can’t.