Reconvert with a Concerned Catholic Mom

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xukeith

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HI. I am 32 and a cradle Catholic. 10 months ago, I completely caught on fire and started learning through prayer and reading books on Saints, Mary, Catechism, …all Catholic books and am still today on fire learning more everyday and asking to do God’s will. I love Catholic radio…etc.
My Mom, cradle Catholic, is concerned that I am not having fun, not “balancing” my life, and could stray down a path that could be “weird” in her eyes.
Since my conversion, I have hung 2 crucifixes in my house, I have a picture of Immaculate Mary and Jesus.
I have 2 photos of apparitions(reported in Medgugore and Falmouth,KY)
I am sensitive to my mom’s concerns and “approval”. She does not want me to be an isolationist and only pray and fast and read Catholic textx. She want me to lead a “balanced” life with, I guess more “going out” and spending money, etc. I am not sure what specifically. But I am very close to her and my rational brain says, “Keith, this reaction says more about her beliefs, not yours.”
But my heart sinks because I wish my mom had my excitement and learning journey. Its my call. I can’t just cut my mom’s opinion from how I feel about myself.
Any advise would be apprecited!
Thanks!!
 
You need to take a deep breath and evaluate the “situation” ;).

Your mom may be just worrying like moms do no matter what or she may be seeing something that is truly to be concerned about. Do you have a Priest you can trust? Someone who can point you in the right direction? Having Pictures of unapproved or yet to be approved apparitions is disturbing to me. Reading and learning and being “on fire” for the Faith is not.

The other thing is can you find a young adults group near you with like minded adults? You know, some people your own age in basically the same place as you are? This might ease your mom’s mind about “getting out”.

The other thing is ask her to be more specific about what she means, I can sit here and speculate all day long on what your mom means and be way off the mark!

Of course you can always be praying for her if she really doesn’t have anything to worry about and is just looking at you with “worldly eyes”.

Brenda V.
 
**I completely understand where you are coming from. Objectively you know that the only thing that truly matters is how well you love and serve our Lord. But your mom is still your earthly mom and you love her and care about her and what she thinks of you. I think the key for you is remembering that you must honor her but that you are an adult man who has free will.

I know that you wish she would share your passion. But she doesn’t…yet. So do your best to reassure her that you are living a balanced life (and make sure you are) and let your example be a witness to her. Instead of just reading and praying, ACT. Volunteer. Join groups that may lead to friendships with other faithful Catholics. Live life.

Malia**
 
Thanks to you both. I enjoy my “balanced life”, prayer groups, friends and volunteer “ACTIONS”.
I appreciate your points of view. I have free will and will honor my mom. Priorities first: God first.
More specifically, she would be concerned if I hung a rosary in every room in my house. She hopes I never become “obsessed” and block people from entering my worl. Great concern but no where close to the path that I am on. This is a journey with a community of new Catholic elderly friends, priests, families.
 
Just tell her what you said in your last post!

Also, on another note, it is normal to become extremely involved when you are passionate about something. Think of it as your “honeymoon phase” with God–you are building the foundation for a strong relationship.
 
Unless you’re bipolar or have another mental illness that makes you very ‘on fire’ for something, to the exclusion of all ‘reason’…I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m bipolar and I do go through periods like that…but it’s part of my mental make-up and over the years I’ve learnt to ‘pace myself’ before I ‘burn out’ spiritually…Only you know to what extend you’re simply rediscovering the Faith and when it becomes…uhm…worrying;)

Anna x
 
xukeith said:
She want me to lead a “balanced” life with, I guess more “going out” and spending money, etc. I am not sure what specifically. But I am very close to her and my rational brain says, “Keith, this reaction says more about her beliefs, not yours.”
But my heart sinks because I wish my mom had my excitement and learning journey. Its my call. I can’t just cut my mom’s opinion from how I feel about myself.
Any advise would be apprecited!
Thanks!!
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Congrats on your born-again 😉 Catholic experience. Just give your mom time to adjust to the brightness, she’ll come around. It just takes time. It is contagious you know!:extrahappy:
 
on the lighter side when you said how you have pictures of the Blessed Mother and Jesus it reminded me of something that happened to me about 2 years ago. my son is 21 and a few girls he knew came to visit. well they looked around i guess i never paid attention comming from a catholic family all of my life there were always pictures of Jesus and the Blessed Mother. anyway the one girl said you are real religious huh., i said no sweetheart no as religious as i need to be but im trying. she said i can tell you house reminds me of my great grams. My husband and i laughed all night. i said boy we must be old huh.
 
xukeith said:
Thanks to you both. I enjoy my “balanced life”, prayer groups, friends and volunteer “ACTIONS”.
I appreciate your points of view. I have free will and will honor my mom. Priorities first: God first.
More specifically, she would be concerned if I hung a rosary in every room in my house. She hopes I never become “obsessed” and block people from entering my worl. Great concern but no where close to the path that I am on. This is a journey with a community of new Catholic elderly friends, priests, families.
Click to expand...
You are doing just fine then. You have friends, you are getting out so you just need now to wait for your mom to catch that fire through you:p.

It is scary to see someone fall so deeply in love with God. It can even cause some jealousy - unintended but it is there. Let your mom get used to it, love her, take her to dinner, talk about your friends, talk about what you are doing in service to God and ask her about her life and what she is doing and really listen to her!

Brenda V.
 
Isn’t it wonderful when you suddenly realize that there is more to your Faith than you ever imagined before? When your Faith is alive you are are a light to everyone.

Here are several things to think about.

What your are feeling (being on fire for the Faith) is no doubt real, but it is a feeling. I hesitate to say JUST a feeling because that feeling speaks to the reality; but the reality of Faith is no less real when the feeling isn’t there. You were every bit as much a Catholic and a member of Christ’s true Church before you ‘caught on fire’. You’re just probably a ‘better’ one now.

Your experience of being a Catholic is not the same as that of other people. Some people never experience that on-fire experience you did. But if they are strong in their Faith you don’t need to feel bad for them. Your mother probably had a very different experience of the Catholic Faith. But that doesn’t mean either of you is not Catholic enough. There are many ways to live out our Faith in our everyday secular lives. That’s probably where your mother is.

If you can learn to appreciate how your mother lives out her Faith then she will probably see that you are not crazy.
 
Oh boy. I have experienced something similar with my husband. He is Jewish, so the Catholic religion is quite alien to him. He thinks I am “addicted” to religion because I insist on going to Mass every Sunday and he knows I pray every day.

Ever since I returned to the Church last year I have been very enthusiastic about it and have acquired quite a few Catholic books. He has worried about that as well.

Another poster mentioned that it can be scary to watch someone fall in love with God. It absolutely terrifies my husband and he is jealous. It took me awhile to figure out what that emotion was in him because I have never seen him jealous before. He feels very threatened by re-discovered religion.

As to what we have done to work through the issues, we have talked and talked and talked. I think, finally, he has gotten the message that religion isn’t going to cause me to stop loving him or to abandon him.

I try very hard to limit my involvement in my parish so as not to take time away from my husband. I attend Sunday Mass and work with the altar guild one afternoon a month, and that’s it.

When I get home from Mass on Sunday I make sure I am free to do things my husband enjoys for the rest of the afternoon.

Your Mom will more than likely come around, but it will take time.
 
Hi Keith,

I share your experience and don`t think you need to be worried. I am 31, and starting in my late twenties, but particuarly within the past two years, had a strong increase in faith and have “rediscovered Catholicsm.” The more I read and pray, the more I want to read and pray! The fact that I stayed “at home” on a Friday night to pray the rosary, rather than go out and drink, gives you a clue as to why my friends think I have gone off the “religious deep end.” But after a particularly rough week, I figured, turning to prayer, rather than a night at the bar, was the better way to handle my stress. But my secular friends point to this and say it is why I am still single! (Maybe we are both right!).

Long story short, as long as you are not isolating yourself, I think you are okay. I found that making new friends helped. But my family and many of my friends still think I am going through a phase, but they just don`t undestand it.

You are not alone, and you are not weird. Your Mom is concerned, which shows she loves you, but I don`t think it sounds like you have anything to be worried about.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
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