Refused absolution unless we break up; can you help?

[alwaysminnie]

A priest I respect refused me absolution for premarital sexual activity with my boyfriend. His reasoning is that this person is a near occasion of sin and thus during my act of contrition I must resolve not to see him anymore. Uncertain and uneasy, I said I would discern about it.

Without meaning to criticize any of God’s priests, I couldn’t help but notice he did not ask if my boyfriend and I are really trying to be pure or whether we truly desire to be so. Am I to assume these things do not matter?

I am in a bind. I have faith that my romantic relationship is a blessing, and hopes for it’s fruition into a holy marriage. Without the sacraments though, of course we will never make it… and without absolution there is no Eucharist. It goes against my upbringing to seek another priest who I know WILL absolve me, because I am afraid of abusing the sacrament of reconciliation. I need an apologist to help me discern.

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

From what you write, it doesn’t sound like you and your boyfriend have been very prudent in the past. You don’t say how old you are. I have a hunch that you gave the priest more information than you have given here. Your desire to be honest and not abuse the sacrament is commendable. If your parents knew that you have had relations with this fellow, would THEY want you to see him again?

There is not a lot I can say, since I need more information. If you would like to write me privately here, I would be happy to help. Just click on my name.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.