U
Unexpected_Dawn
Guest
Hi all,
I could use some fresh perspective on this, because it just keeps going round and round in my mind! This question sort of has multiple parts, but I’ll try to be concise, so please bear with me.
Over the past year, I’ve had some very hard times, with lots of suffering. While I feel I’ve done my best, and have come through it a much better person… I really took things out on other people and on God, in some pretty seriously BAD ways. I realize that at the time, I often didn’t have my wits about me… I was so distraught and in pain that I’m sure my judgement was impaired.
But now that I am more “myself,” I feel some pretty heavy guilt, shame, and remorse. Now, I look back and feel very sinful, and my conscience really beats me up for it. Do you think this is fair? Am I being too hard on myself? Should I confess things like this?
I did go to Confession a few weeks ago, and I talked about a lot of it with my Confessor. He was kind and supportive, and he gave me absolution. But… I keep on finding new things to feel guilty about. Some of them very old. In fact, I mentioned to my confessor that I was regretting other things from my past, like before my last Confession 10 months ago–before which I was apostate for about 11 years. He told me that since I’d been to Confession since then, that I shouldn’t worry myself about the past.
However, there are things that I **didn’t really explicitly tell him ** at the previous Confession (not out of malice, but just out of forgetting or being tongue-tied–or being so hopped up on adrenaline at the time!). I still think on all these things from my past, and worry that I haven’t properly confessed them. I have read and been told that all my sins were forgiven, but it still weighs on my conscience. It’s like I haven’t gotten complete closure, or something. And my confessor gave the impression I shouldn’t be worrying about things like that any more–although to be fair, maybe he misunderstood me or I misunderstood him–I’m always so emotional and jittery at Confession!
Anyway, I’m debating about going to Confession again this week. I don’t feel I’ve really commited any mortal sins. It’s mostly being haunted by past things. Em, although I do suppose that posting this while I’m on the clock at work could count… But I just need some (name removed by moderator)ut on this, and I can’t concentrate on work very well as long as I’m keeping it inside!
So, what do you think–am I just being too unforgiving of myself? Should I try not to worry about past sins? Should I confess things that have been forgiven? I feel like there is a simple answer to all of this, but I’m not thinking too clearly. I have always had the tendency to really beat myself up… I am pretty good at forgiving others, but not so good at forgiving myself.
Thank you for any thoughts you may have. I’d better get back to work!
I could use some fresh perspective on this, because it just keeps going round and round in my mind! This question sort of has multiple parts, but I’ll try to be concise, so please bear with me.
Over the past year, I’ve had some very hard times, with lots of suffering. While I feel I’ve done my best, and have come through it a much better person… I really took things out on other people and on God, in some pretty seriously BAD ways. I realize that at the time, I often didn’t have my wits about me… I was so distraught and in pain that I’m sure my judgement was impaired.
But now that I am more “myself,” I feel some pretty heavy guilt, shame, and remorse. Now, I look back and feel very sinful, and my conscience really beats me up for it. Do you think this is fair? Am I being too hard on myself? Should I confess things like this?
I did go to Confession a few weeks ago, and I talked about a lot of it with my Confessor. He was kind and supportive, and he gave me absolution. But… I keep on finding new things to feel guilty about. Some of them very old. In fact, I mentioned to my confessor that I was regretting other things from my past, like before my last Confession 10 months ago–before which I was apostate for about 11 years. He told me that since I’d been to Confession since then, that I shouldn’t worry myself about the past.
However, there are things that I **didn’t really explicitly tell him ** at the previous Confession (not out of malice, but just out of forgetting or being tongue-tied–or being so hopped up on adrenaline at the time!). I still think on all these things from my past, and worry that I haven’t properly confessed them. I have read and been told that all my sins were forgiven, but it still weighs on my conscience. It’s like I haven’t gotten complete closure, or something. And my confessor gave the impression I shouldn’t be worrying about things like that any more–although to be fair, maybe he misunderstood me or I misunderstood him–I’m always so emotional and jittery at Confession!
Anyway, I’m debating about going to Confession again this week. I don’t feel I’ve really commited any mortal sins. It’s mostly being haunted by past things. Em, although I do suppose that posting this while I’m on the clock at work could count…
But I just need some (name removed by moderator)ut on this, and I can’t concentrate on work very well as long as I’m keeping it inside!So, what do you think–am I just being too unforgiving of myself? Should I try not to worry about past sins? Should I confess things that have been forgiven? I feel like there is a simple answer to all of this, but I’m not thinking too clearly. I have always had the tendency to really beat myself up… I am pretty good at forgiving others, but not so good at forgiving myself.
Thank you for any thoughts you may have. I’d better get back to work!
Jesus, I Love You 
), so I will go! Actually, I’ve been wanting to do this anyway. Thank you for the prayer suggestions.
