Before you two actually do something, make sure his decree of nullity is in place (oh yeh, that).
The older I get, the more I am becoming a believer of what we call in the States, “The Ladder and Check Club.” For Protestants, that’d mean a ladder at the window and elopement, followed by a check from the parents because they didn’t have to spend big bucks and many hours on a wedding. For Catholics, that would probably mean doing the marriage prep, then getting married hopefully before, during or after a normally scheduled Mass.
Whatever you decide, I vote for the easiest possible and simplest route. I would double-check all my info regarding visas with a Canadian attorney before I did whatever it is I was going to do, though.
It’s been so long…I am happy you’re seeing light at the end of your tunnel.
Thanks, OutinChgoburbs. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. He was told to expect an answer on the decree of nullity in January. Now, we’re both being cynical and not really expecting it until a few months later (the Philippines are not known for doing things on time) but the possibility is exciting.
I like the ladder and cheque idea, but my family’s tradition is that those getting married do the paying. Aw, shucks!
civil law in the Philippines on marriage is very strict and I doubt this would be allowed, judging by stories of others here. The solution remains to marry in whatever locale they now reside, since that is the pastor where the parish has jurisdiction over them, and leave the celebration with family until another time and place, and take those calculations completely out of the logistics of when and where to marry.
OP asks who as regrets now about the style of their wedding. did all the arrangments for my own wedding and several of my siblings, and 3 daughters, and can honestly say I don’t think anybody remembers anything about the food, the cake, the music, the flowers, the gowns, the venue or any of the other details we tend to obsess about. All the marriages, thanks be to God, are thriving.
Good, I’m glad nobody had any regrets about how they did things in your family. I’m more concerned about regretting disappointing my family than regretting not having had the seafoam green bridesmaids gowns with matching flowers and cake! My mom specifically asked me when I moved to Asia not to get married here without coming home for the wedding. I fully intended to honour that request, but, well, life keeps getting in the way. My mom did that to her parents, who never forgave her and my father completely. Luckily my parents aren’t that sort.
It was really expensive because both my mother and his mother wanted a formal sit-down meal and my mother wanted all the family there (Irish families are big!). My FIL is a politician and he invited a lot of colleagues so the Japanese meal was also big and expensive. A backyard BBQ would be an awful lot cheaper and probably way more fun:thumbsup:
International marriages are fun, aren’t they?
Gearoidin
I hear you! My boyfriend’s grandfather is a judge, and his mom’s family is pretty big about town, so I’m sure we’ll have to invite the entire barrio, plus a few people from further afield. And, of course, the wedding is on us, not his family - after all, I’m Western, so I must be rich. (Sadly, as broke as I am, I’m still doing better than 90% of Filipinos.)
another thing about a long distance wedding that may work out in your favor is that if the various family members who want to tell you what to do are not around, they may not have as much influence, and it will be easier for you to control the plans yourself. If for instance the Church tells you the wedding has to be in a certain place, then that’s it, you have your small church wedding the way you want it, and if family members in the other country want to spend money to throw a party later, they can, and they can do it their way, and you can save your money for travel expense.
That is true. I don’t see my parents caring much about the venue, flowers, colours, invitations, or any of that stuff, but they do care very much about actually being there. I know they were very hands off with my brother’s weddings, and were content to be surprised about it when they showed up. Of course, my brother was the groom, and the groom’s parents aren’t supposed to do much planning anyway. My parents might behave a little differently when they’re the parents of the bride.
