Relational Evangelism with my Brother

[Semper_Zelare]

My brother has gone through a really tough time. He joined the Navy about a year ago. He graduated basic and became enlisted in May of this year. Now, he’s counting down the days to drop out of the navy after the bare minimum of 2 years service. Which he’s literally counting the 538 remaining days. His general sentiment other than that is “F the Navy, F all of this, this is an Fing waste of time”. [For anyone who may know a little about the navy, he couldn’t join EOD like he wanted to, and instead became a Bosuns mate. So he had his sights on elite special forces and because of the navy’s bogus handling of his medical information he’s down to chipping paint and manual labor/ low level grunt work].

Anyways. I’m going to call him soon. I would say generally, “All things work for God’s good/ we must find the good in any situation”. And that God’s just using this time for something else. I would say that, but my brother is a seriously lapsed Catholic who (at least says to me that he) still believes in God but is pretty apathetic or discouraged that God hasn’t done very much for him/ hasn’t answered his prayers, therefore he’s relied on himself for the past x amount of years. To most everyone else he’s an atheist.

How would some of you approach this situation? I want to encourage him. I’ve tried that in the past, but I can rarely broach any spiritual topics. I think I’m just going to share how God’s been working in my own life recently. I would ultimately like my brother to go to mass once a week, but I don’t know how to reach him where he’s at spiritually right now. Where should he start? [Because he’s pretty much back at square 1 in his relationship with God as far as I can tell]

Any suggestions on what y’all would do? thoughts?

 

[JRKH]

Your brother is in a very sad situation and is very angry and disappointed about it. It sounds as though he has not looked into other training opportunities and I am assuming is not interested in looking into same.

If it were me I’d not “evangelize” too much but rather just be a “bright point” in his life. Talk about upbeat things. Let him enjoy his “countdown”. Tell him how glad you will be to see him again etc. Talk about home, about family, and maybe talk about plans that he might undertake when he gets out.
Also I would recommend writing to him often (at least once a week). Getting mail can be a great “pick-me-up” for someone who is - where they don’t want to be - and they are going to be there for a long time.

By being a “Bright spot” you give him something good to focus on, even if only for a little while. It might make his time go quicker for him.
Of course you don’t need to hide your faith - in the course of conversation, you can make gentle faith based statements, but just don’t come off as preachy. In his current state, it would likely just push him away from God.

That’s my 2 cents.

Peace
James

 

[Pax1972]

Hi, Semper.

With respect to your brother’s spiritual walk, my recommendation is to pray for him unceasingly. Keep him in your rosary intentions. And pray the Rosary as often as possible. Consecrate him to the Blessed Mother. Entrust him to the Lord’s care. Pray that God’s efficacious grace will work in his life and bring him to the life God desires for him. We are, by nature, creatures of free will, but not impervious/immune to His miraculous and abundant grace.

Pray for fortitude, patience, and perseverance. Our loving God works in His own time which doesn’t always correspond to our temporal schedules. Saint Monica prayed for her family most of her life and only realized the fruits of her hard work, watered and nurtured by her many tears, towards the end of her natural life. Not to say you will face the same degree of pain and struggle. But, if you truly desire what’s best for your brother, commit yourself and steel your will to do what’s necessary on your part to participate in His plan for your brother’s life and all others you love.

Don’t alienate him with “preaching.” LIVE God’s love as an example to him. Show him the fruits of humility and peace manifested in your own life.

Easy for me to say. Much harder to do. I am, by no means, a saint and struggle with very similar challenges in my own life. Nevertheless, this is what we are called to do.

As for the Navy, I spent ten years as a Naval Officer. I’ve known countless Sailors in your brother’s situation. Many times “the needs of the Navy” don’t correspond to what the Sailor originally perceives as his/her needs/desires Sometimes this means it’s better for both parties to go their separate ways upon the completion of an enlistment. Other times, The Navy offers opportunities equally and, perhaps more, rewarding than those the Sailor initially set out in pursuit of. Wearing our country’s uniform is a TREMENDOUS honor whether chipping paint, hauling lines, or launching Tomahawks at those unfortunate folks who have incurred the justice of our great nation. ALL of those jobs serve the greater good of our countrymen. If his disillusionment hasn’t blinded him to this fact, Mabel you could suggest he speak to his Chief, Division Officer, or Command Career Counselor to determine if there are other opportunities available that he might find more rewarding.

Or perhaps he should pull chocks, use his GI Bill, and find a civilian career more to his liking.

Either way, encourage him to make his decision calmly/rationally and not in haste and bitterness.

Peace

Where the Navy is concerned

 

[Semper_Zelare]

Thank you both.

I have been meaning to send mail to him. But, he insists that I could just tell him whatever over the phone. Anyways, I’ll try to get his address next time I call him.

And yeah, I’ll definitely try not to be preachy. Normally my brother will bring up his spiritual life when he wants to talk about. Although it’s pretty rare, at least it happens maybe once every couple of months. So, that’s good in and of itself.

I think I’m just going to share with him a lot from my own life at the moment as well. I’m not particularly RELISHING my college experience, and at some times I really wonder why I’m here. But, that’s life… doing things we don’t really like to do.

So, thanks for y’alls advice. And, I would welcome any prayers people have. I know I’m going to be getting more diligent in daily intentional prayers in a way that I haven’t been before.

Thanks once again,
David

 

[AntalKalnoky]

Your brother is in a very sad situation and is very angry and disappointed about it. It sounds as though he has not looked into other training opportunities and I am assuming is not interested in looking into same.

If it were me I’d not “evangelize” too much but rather just be a “bright point” in his life. Talk about upbeat things. Let him enjoy his “countdown”. Tell him how glad you will be to see him again etc. Talk about home, about family, and maybe talk about plans that he might undertake when he gets out.
Also I would recommend writing to him often (at least once a week). Getting mail can be a great “pick-me-up” for someone who is - where they don’t want to be - and they are going to be there for a long time.

By being a “Bright spot” you give him something good to focus on, even if only for a little while. It might make his time go quicker for him.
Of course you don’t need to hide your faith - in the course of conversation, you can make gentle faith based statements, but just don’t come off as preachy. In his current state, it would likely just push him away from God.

That’s my 2 cents.

Peace
James

And Pray for him silently.