Relationship Advice Help

[Elia_10]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)I moved in to a new area for a new job 6 months ago. The week after I moved I met this guy in Catholic match. We click right away, but as time went on I notice he has anger issues but bottles it up so I don’t see it, he is anti-social doesn’t go out with friends. I love to go out and socialize, go to events, experience restaurants ect. He is a workaholic and puts all his energy at work. Weekends come and he is always tired to go out. Since my family is 2.5 hours away, I want to go on the weekends to see my family. He is ok if I go for 1 day, but gives me a hard time if I spend the whole weekend with my family. I am very close to my family, while he has a strangled relationship with his family. Worse yet, I moved in with him a month ago since the area where I was living a lot of people were getting their cars broken and I did not felt safe. We don’t get physical, I feel we are more like roommates. But Im not happy because I don’t want to live with my boyfriend before marriage. Now I feel stuck with him. I want to get out, but I am full of fear. 1) I don’t know nobody in the city I moved in, I have no social life. All my social life is back in my original home. So he is the only one I know. 2) I have tried going back home applying for new jobs and nothing. 3) Im 30, and Im afraid I will not find someone new, specially in the place where I live. There is no young adults at church. Im just not happy living here. But most thing that hurts me is my relationship with God. I stop praying because I feel this guy gets me out of my prayer life. My family does not know about this, so I have no support to help me get out of this relationship or this city. I tried to leave him once and he took it very aggressively. The positive aspects of this guy is that he is honest, mature, likes to cook, and is very clean. But over all not sure what to do.

 

[Elia_10]

Thank you so much for your response. I just feel something is not right with him. I feel guilty trying to leave the relationship. Please pray so I can get the strength to make the decision to leave.

 

[Trishie]

Please tell your parents and get their help.
It doesn’t matter about feeling embarrassed that you’re in a difficult situation.
It matters that you’re safe
He’s been aggressive that you tried to leave, your parents need to know and help get you away when he’s not there.
You’d be best back near family and friends.
Loving concern and prayers for you

 

[Elia_10]

Thank you so much for your advice. This just affirms me to get out of the relationship.

 

[LittleFlower]

This just affirms me to get out of the relationship.

And do go. Don’t second guess, don’t think he will change, or that these circumstances that are making you unhappy are reasonable to sit out.

Please be strong and leave.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Agree with everyone else. A man who has a fit if you spent time visiting your family is not “mature” and you should not be with, much less living with, someone who has anger issues and makes you uncomfortable. Get out while you still can.

 

[Elia_10]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I found a place where I can move in. Should I tell him I am leaving, or should I just get out without telling him? I have my furniture and stuff in his house. Please pray for me, I am having a lot of anxiety from this situation.

 

[Lara]

Get out without telling him and take your stuff too. Leave a nice note that says “I am not the one for you. Sorry, but this will be better for both of us.”

 

[ChunkMonk]

I agree with the consensus you should leave this relationship but what does “took it very aggressively” mean?

 

[Theo520]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I found a place where I can move in. Should I tell him I am leaving, or should I just get out without telling him? I have my furniture and stuff in his house. Please pray for me, I am having a lot of anxiety from this situation

He hasn’t done anything to warrant just disappearing. You should try show some respect considering he opened his home to you.

That said, have your strategy worked out on how you are going to break the news and manage the move. Maybe break the news in the morning that you have been looking at getting your own place, and your story on why being room mates isn’t the right direction. Can your family drive down to help you move?

If you owe money for rent/utilities, get it cleaned up.