Relationship Advice (On a Break)

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Youngling11

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So me and my girlfriend have been dating 6 months now and we’re going through some trouble. In short, I was feeling a little drained because I had been giving a lot to her lately because she had been stressed out from school work and stuff. I just felt like I needed to take a bit of a step back because I felt I was draining myself. So I decided to talk to her about it and she kinda took it the wrong way (which I now kinda see her POV). I told her that I felt like I was giving a lot and I wasn’t getting enough in return and that I was just wanting to take a step back… however, she took it as “she” was the one draining me and that she felt like she wasn’t good enough for me…

Anyways after talking about it and getting kinda heated towards eachother we decided to take a break for a week (which is where we’re currently at). And I didn’t want to take a break… I was kinda hoping she would’ve just heard what I had to say, said “okay we can work on this” and then move on in the relationship… but I feel like she made it a bigger deal than it is and now we’re taking a break that I don’t feel is necessary…

I don’t know if I want my future wife to react this way when we have relationship problems.

My questions are: Are her reactions to my struggles reasonable?

If they aren’t reasonable, should I break up with her or be more patient?

If they are reasonable, how can I express to her my feelings without them hurting her?

I’m not sure if I want to continue fighting for this relationship if her first reaction every time something goes wrong is to break up with me instead of fighting for me… I hope this makes sense… I don’t know what to do /:
 
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You’re draining yourself-- can you give an example?

You’re not getting enough in return-- what were you expecting?

You wanted to take a step back-- but you didn’t want to take a big enough step back as to take a break from the relationship for a week?

Y’all are in undergrad? If you’re on the quarter system, y’all have just finished dealing with finals? If you’re on the semester system, finals begin in about five-ish weeks from now? Or was it just major projects coming due, etc?
 
It sounds like this relationship has run its course, frankly. Stuff like “breaks” usually presage an end to the relationship.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but that’s my honest guess. Most people aren’t with the person they’re going to marry at 20; odds are this is not your future wife. Dating at your age is more about learning how to interact with the opposite sex in a healthy way.
 
So I’m a 19 year old guy and have been through the EXACT same thing, except on the other side.
The point of taking a break is just that: to spend some time alone to think through things. My parents took 3 breaks when they dated and have been happily married despite. I remember wanting to take a break with my girlfriend. It wasn’t a big deal at all. It just meant that we would take a step back to see if we were happier alone. She refused. She cried and cried, and I just felt like I needed space. In my opinion breaks are great if used for the right reasons. Here’s the deal: if you feel like one of you needs the other and can’t handle the break as much as the other, then maybe it* isn’t right. It worked for my parents because they were on the same page. Maybe cut her some slack for wanting a break, and consider the fact that you didn’t feel the same way about resolving this issue.

Edited: *it meaning your relationship
 
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You wanted to take a step back, but you didn’t want to take a break. What does that mean? It contradicts itself.
 
It sounded like she needed a lot from you emotionally.
When you were needy emotionally, was she there for you?
 
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