Relationship counseling

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Aldazda

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Hello!

I am seeking out relationship counseling for my girlfriend and I. We have been dating a little over 2 years, with the majority of that time being long distance. She studies in Texas and I have been studying in Michigan since 2017. We are both devout Catholics and striving to get each other to heaven. Lately, a lot of tension has arisen in our relationship and it’s been difficult to discuss life events, future plans and challenging topics because we prefer not to fight. We both know this is not healthy and a priest we both trust has advised us to seek out relationship counseling. We would most likely need a resource that could be through video chat or phone calls since we are long distance. Being that we are both full time students we don’t have a consistent flow of income and many of the sites we researched online charge more than we can afford.

Therefore, I am reaching out to see if anyone may have any resources or know anyone that may be willing to help us. Thank you for your time!

Best regards,

David.
 
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Some one else may be able to help you out more than myself,but from experience I would really suggest both of you meet in person with a catholic relationship councillor.
Praying for you,God bless.
 
Welcome to CAF, David.

It’s difficult to really know someone if there is little physical proximity.
Currently a niece is heartbroken because her boyfriend, a catholic young man from a long-distance relationship with limited actual contact, decided just before she made a change from her university to attend the one he attends a couple of States away, that they were over. It’s hard to say if any long-distant (or any other) relationship will last, and be compatible.

It is a concern that neither of you are prepared “to discuss big issues like life events future plans and challenging topics because you prefer not to fight”!
That’s a huge hole in an intended relationship.
How do you both know this will cause fight or conflict, unless you both have already stepped in that direction and discovered hints of discord and lack of agreement?
The fact that there is tension between you indicates that this is true.

A relationship needs to be honest, and the above signals some lack of honesty in the relationship.
To protect a relationship from realities and possible uncomfortable trusts about the other’s intentions and probable choices is building on shaky foundations, and suggests fear of losing a relationship to be more important that honesty and in trust in each other?

However I do know of a long distance relationship that has been successful, but the two did spend innumerable hours communicating on all matters, something which you and this lovely girl have avoided for fear of discord, but also from lack of sufficient funds.

I don’t know what resources are available in your country for distance counselling, or if it would be affordable. Your priests suggestion is of course important.

Perhaps you could both agree to write each other honest letters about the issues you have had little time, and little trust to speak about in your limited communications.
I know that can be scary. Is the alternative that you both be simply good friends until you are in closer proximity where you can get to know each other more realisticaly and discern whether or not you are compatible or are likely to have long term issues. It’s painful to consider the potential of losing a relationship dream, but please God this one will be a wholesome reality in time. If not, may God lead you to the one He hopes for you.
In the meantime, thanks be to God for the good you do bring each other.

Kind wishes,
Trishie
 
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Do not avoid tough topics because you are afraid of fighting. All that will happen is that you marry and those topics manifest in real time and you two have completely different ideas about it.
 
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