Relationship with someone you love and care about

[goodgirl1]

Hi everyone, me and my bf have been seeing each other for not very long, less than a year and we became very close quickly as he was very supportive of me and share genuine care and concern for. Recently, we discussed about relationships we have had in the past and I discovered that he had several intimate relationships that made it uncomfortable for me discussing it as I have never had any before we dated. As a catholic, I was shocked to discover about the lengths of his relationships, my bf thinks it is normal and claims he doesn’t know anyone who have not been intimate before marriage, so much so that he obliges to believing in anything that the bible says about kissing, sex or intimate relationships before marriage, what can I do to better communicate my beliefs and understanding about relationships and being in a long-distance relationship with him how can I create a fun and memorable experience for the both of us without going too intimate with our relationship, although our circumstance sometimes call for it.

 

[Legend]

Well, is he pressuring you to be more physically intimate than your (or the church’s) convictions allow? Because the Bible does not ever condone sex before marriage.

If it’s just seemingly innocent conversation on his part, just tell him you’re not comfortable discussing such things, at this point. Then, change the subject. I’m not saying that sex is all he’s after…but be on guard!

I take it you’re too young to seriously consider marriage. If he persists in such conversations, most likely, he’s not worth the time and effort. Try finding a man whose ideals are closer to your own.

Have you ever read the binle yourself? I recommend it. Please, don’t let him, or anyone else, railroad you into anything you’re not ready for. Or that the church, or the bible condemn.

God Bless!

 

[QwertyGirl]

Your boyfriend is correct, in that his past history (as you describe it) would be considered “normal” by most people. But you aren’t most people. You are a person who believes differently.

If the boyfriend can’t or won’t respect and honor your beliefs, then he is not the person for you. You should terminate the relationship and find someone who believes the same things you believe with regards to this issue.

 

[Pnwcatholic]

Your boyfriend doesnt have to believe anything you claim he doesnt believe. The only thing he has to do is recognize that YOU believe it. It doesnt matter what he thinks about sex before marriage because if he marries you, he wont be having sex before marriage. You should be strong about that, you should communicate it strongly to him, and be prepared to have him walk away.

 

[Inquiry]

All of this hinges on whether or not he respects your limits on what can happen before marriage. He doesn’t specifically have to share your views on why to wait, but he has to do more than just reluctantly agree to wait until marriage. At the very least he has to consider you worth waiting for. If he’s going to claim to accept your limits and then grumble all the way, he’s not actually respecting you.

You can give him a bit of time to get used to the idea, but he eventually has to if you are going to have any future together. A relationship where only one side pursues chastity doesn’t work.

 

[TheLittleLady]

We do not need the details of our romantic person’s past life, and they do not need ours. When things get serious, disclose STDs, children or prior marriages. Who did what with whom never does anyone any good.

Confess it, be done with it.

 

[Viki63]

how can I create a fun and memorable experience for the both of us without going too intimate with our relationship, although our circumstance sometimes call for it.

If you want to remain chaste, your circumstances do not call for intimacy before marriage. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances might be. You can make it clear to your friend that you don’t want to be just another past relationship, another notch on his gun.
If he is not happy to be respectful of your beliefs, it would be better to find another boyfriend, even if you have to wait a while. A man who respects you will be worth the wait.