Relationships with other people

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I attended a Bible study recently and the pastor read a passage from the New Testament, I can’t recall exactly from where, but it stated that our reliance or trust in humans is wrong, as we are choosing to rely on someone other than God. While I do understand that, if we don’t rely on God, we lose everything else, does the thought of relationships between humans not exist in christianity? Are we not to rely on one another, to love and care for one another, and develop relationships with one another? How else do we keep friendships going, if not through effort with one another, including reliance on one another? Do a wife and husband not need and love one another, or is their marriage merely a chore setup by God. Is a wife merely a wife to her husband and nothing more, or can’t they be good friends? A couple can’t just make their marriage or relationship work by praying all the time. Our priest said that, as long as we’re truly faithful, trusting and loving in God (and only God), all our “rewards” will come to us. Well friendships and relationships are a little more than rewards, aren’t they?
 
I think it’s not a matter of whether or not to trust other humans but what degree of trust we place in others. God should receive our complete trust because He is perfectly faithful and will never mislead, abuse, or betray us or let us down in any way. Everything we have ultimately comes from Him, but it’s very easy for us to misplace the trust we should have in Him and place it in others. For example, a wife who stays home places trust in her husband to work and provide for their family. He may be a perfectly faithful and good provider and husband, but he could die and no longer be able to provide for her and their children. If the wife has put all her trust in her husband to provide, then she’ll be really distressed and put out in her new circumstances as a widow, but if she has placed her trust ultimately in God, she will trust Him to provide in some way for her and her family --through the gifts of others, job opportunities, etc.
 
icouch said:
I attended a Bible study recently and the pastor read a passage from the New Testament, I can’t recall exactly from where, but it stated that our reliance or trust in humans is wrong, as we are choosing to rely on someone other than God. While I do understand that, if we don’t rely on God, we lose everything else, does the thought of relationships between humans not exist in christianity? Are we not to rely on one another, to love and care for one another, and develop relationships
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with one another? How else do we keep friendships going, if not through effort with one another, including reliance on one another? Do a wife and husband not need and love one another, or is their marriage merely a chore setup by God. Is a wife merely a wife to her husband and nothing more, or can’t they be good friends? A couple can’t just make their marriage or relationship work by praying all the time. Our priest said that, as long as we’re truly faithful, trusting and loving in God (and only God), all our “rewards” will come to us. Well friendships and relationships are a little more than rewards, aren’t they?This wasn’t a Catholic Bible study was it?

If one was trusting in some human being or their own righteousness for salvation then there might be a problem, but the way you have it stated is not a Biblical concept at all.

What does the New Testament tell us?
  1. John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
  2. John 15:12 This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.
  3. 1 Thessalonians 4:9 But as touching the charity of brotherhood, we have no need to write to you: for yourselves have learned of God to love one another.
  4. 2nd John 1:5 And now I beseech thee, lady, not as writing a new commandment to thee, but that which we have had from the beginning, that we love one another.
  5. John 13:35 By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.
  6. John 15:17 These things I command you, that you love one another.
  7. 1st John 3:11 For this is the declaration, which you have heard from the beginning, that you should love one another.
  8. 1st John 4:11 My dearest, if God hath so loved us; we also ought to love one another.
  9. 1st John 3:23 And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ: and love one another, as he hath given commandment unto us.
It is impossible to love someone as you love yourself if one does not trust.

Unless you misunderstood what the person was meaning then it appears they were not biblically correct.
Pax tecum,
 
It was a catholic bible study, and the reading was from Corinthians (either 1 or 2, I can’t remember). It could have been a passage that I had already pointed out earlier in another thread, which Tradition Ang already addressed as applying strictly to marriage…

Yes, we are called to love other people, but I’m talking about developing relationships/friendships with other people, making the effort for friendships (new and old), and working to develop trust and communication skills in friendships and relationships, to keep those alive over years, and when friends are in need, to go to the aid of those friends.
 
I can’t find the verse you’re referring to. Sorry if I misunderstood your question. I just can’t imagine that it would mean that we aren’t to develop trusting, loving relationships with others. Those kinds of relationships would be a reflection of the kind of relationship we should have with God.
 
Is it wrong to abide in friends and family instead of or opposed to God, to look for wisdom, comfort and love in friends instead of the Lord?
 
icouch said:
Is it wrong to abide in friends and family instead of or opposed to
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God, to look for wisdom, comfort and love in friends instead of the Lord?Only if you replace God with them…

There is nothing that disallows us to have good family relationships and to listen to the wisdom and charity of family and close friends. I suggest that you read through the OT book of Proverbs.
 
Indeed, a lot of the recent threads in the forums lately seem to be suffering from an ‘either-or’ false dichotomy lately. 😃

Or, to paraphrase a song from a beloved musical, people are getting uptight about “All or Nothing”.

But we aren’t called to live in a vacuum. While God wants all our heart, soul, mind and strength to be focused on love and service to Him, He tells us that ‘what you do for the least one, you do for me’ and indeed to ‘love our neighbor as ourselves’.

Thus, it is a ‘both-and’. Our relationship with God is paramount but our relationship becomes more Christlike and pleasing to God when we are more Christlike in our words and actions to those around us.

Look at it this way. If a husband and wife have a child, in normal circumstances, does that child ‘take away’ love from the parents that would have been given to them alone? No, rather, the parents have more love for each other, as well as for the child.

There is no ‘finite’ amount of love, that we can give ‘all’ to God and leave nothing over for others. Rather, love is infinite–for God is love.
 
I have thought about this myself, working to form or cultivating relationships with others Unfortunately my problem is that I can’t find a good relationship that I want to cultivate. I don’t mean to be snotty but so many people in my life are wrapped up in God only knows what…but a Christian relationship is not what most people I know are looking for. It seems like I am the only one looking for this. But if I were to find someone I would work on it the best that I could…a good friendship is a gift from God.

Didn’t God create woman because He said that its not good for man to be alone? While I understand the concern, because there are many people that I am better off without than with. I am better off alone than spending my time and efforts with the wrong people.

My counselor told me that God made us to be in relationship. Some people can be in relationship with God alone - but why did God make all of us people if we weren’t supposed to be in eachothers lives and help eachother.

If you can find a good person work on creating and maintaining that relationship. Whether we like it or not the devil is always working to have a relationship with us - only a negative relationship. We have a much better chance at life if we are not in it alone.
 
I guess I would wonder what the difference between a christian relationship and a relationship is. I have friends and family that I could work on relationships with more, even though they’re not christian. One of my dearest friends is agnostic, and yet we’re still good friends. I understand the idea of a Christian relationship in which the christian religion is the basis for the friendship.

I guess one question I have is whether or not “best friends” exist in christianity. Those kinds of relationships where one would take a bullet for another, where one is always loyal to the other, perhaps to a best friend level. I feel this way about several friends, yet it seems contradictory to church teaching. Or is that whole idea just an immature way of putting friendships on pedistools.
 
How could that possibly be contrary to Christian teaching? Jesus had tons of friends he would have taken a bullet for (and He did!), and He had his special buddies.

Now, it’s possible that you could have such ingrown friendships that you cut off everybody else, or got all cliquish. But that would be abuse of a good thing; friendship isn’t bad in itself.
 
Jesus would’ve taken a bullet for anyone.

is it possible to have an ingrown friendship with God where you cut off all friends and family? Can you not abuse God?

edit: and Church Militant, what exactly is replacing God with someone else? Is it going to them before or instead of God if you have a problem?
 
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