Religion & Marital Relations

[Sister_Amy]

I’m kind of curious what different religions say (if anything) about relations between a husband and wife.

For example, Muslims believe that they are rewarded for acting on their sexual desire with their spouse. If you want to ask why, the reason, based on narrations from the prophet, is that if that desire had been acted on unlawfully (outside of marriage) it would be a major sin, for which there is a prescribed punishment. So they are rewarded for relations inside of marriage.

I have heard other things about other religions, though, which if incorrect, I hope can be clarified by other posters.

For example, I’ve heard that in some Christian denominations, a man is not allowed to have sex with his wife if she’s pregnant, because the purpose of the sex is only procreation (not recreation.)

I’ve heard that some Christians believe a man is not allowed to look at his wife with desire, or that it’s some kind of mortal sin for him to do so.

Anyone know about this? Thanks in advance.

 

[Charlie_Zeaiter]

Catholics view sex as a total selfgiving act from one person to their spouse, like the way the Groom Jesus gave His body completely to His Bride, The Church.

That’s one of the reasons why Catholics are against contraception; Jesus gave His body completely - to the point of death on the cross - for The Church. Similarly, we should give our bodies completely to our spouses. It’s not just for procreation. It’s not just for recreation. It is something that helps define our marriages. And our marriages are sacraments - a witness to the Groom Jesus and His Bride, The Church.

So, whenever you see a married Catholic couple, I hope you can also see Jesus and The Church.

 

[Pinkyyy]

I’m kind of curious what different religions say (if anything) about relations between a husband and wife.

For example, Muslims believe that they are rewarded for acting on their sexual desire with their spouse. If you want to ask why, the reason, based on narrations from the prophet, is that if that desire had been acted on unlawfully (outside of marriage) it would be a major sin, for which there is a prescribed punishment. So they are rewarded for relations inside of marriage.

I have heard other things about other religions, though, which if incorrect, I hope can be clarified by other posters.

For example, I’ve heard that in some Christian denominations, a man is not allowed to have sex with his wife if she’s pregnant, because the purpose of the sex is only procreation (not recreation.)

I’ve heard that some Christians believe a man is not allowed to look at his wife with desire, or that it’s some kind of mortal sin for him to do so.

Anyone know about this? Thanks in advance.

According to the CC (or at least what i learned in my RCIA class) is that this is a misunderstanding of Protestants and others about the CC.

First of all, of course a Catholic husband can have sex with his pregnant wife. In fact, they are instructed to only abstain from sex for periods of prayer. Sex is for pleasure as well as for life - therefore, as long as you are not stopping life (using birth control), you are still open to life and can have sex. This is why an infertile couple is not banned from having sex - God may make it possible for them to have a baby anyway and if sex was only for making babies, then would you say an infertile man or a woman who has had a hyserectomy can never have sex even thought they are married? No.

Thus, using birth control to prevent pregnancy = wrong and is a mortal sin.

Having sex with your pregnant wife is not a sin as it is still “natural” (no b/c) and still open to life - technically a woman can ovulate at a later time and have two babies conceieved at different times -there have been cases of this. Their sex during pregnancy was still open to life.

You can have desire and have thoughts about your spouse. What the CC teaches is to not act on these (I am speaking of masturbation).

 

[dolphinlove]

According to the CC (or at least what i learned in my RCIA class) is that this is a misunderstanding of Protestants and others about the CC.

First of all, of course a Catholic husband can have sex with his pregnant wife. In fact, they are instructed to only abstain from sex for periods of prayer. Sex is for pleasure as well as for life - therefore, as long as you are not stopping life (using birth control), you are still open to life and can have sex. This is why an infertile couple is not banned from having sex - God may make it possible for them to have a baby anyway and if sex was only for making babies, then would you say an infertile man or a woman who has had a hyserectomy can never have sex even thought they are married? No.

Thus, using birth control to prevent pregnancy = wrong and is a mortal sin.

Having sex with your pregnant wife is not a sin as it is still “natural” (no b/c) and still open to life - technically a woman can ovulate at a later time and have two babies conceieved at different times -there have been cases of this. Their sex during pregnancy was still open to life.

You can have desire and have thoughts about your spouse. What the CC teaches is to not act on these (I am speaking of masturbation).

The way Catholics ‘can’ avoid getting pregnant is called parent planning control.
Basically, the female body is fertile at certain times within a month, and couples can choose to have sex in those times if they want to have a baby, or outside if they dont want to produce children, but as always, there is no guarantee a person wont fall pregnant, that is why this is not really called birth control.

 

[Ilroy]

The way Catholics ‘can’ avoid getting pregnant is called parent planning control.
Basically, the female body is fertile at certain times within a month, and couples can choose to have sex in those times if they want to have a baby, or outside if they dont want to produce children, but as always, there is no guarantee a person wont fall pregnant, that is why this is not really called birth control.

Keep in mind though that this can only be done for legitimate reasons if you care to keep morality in the picture. These reasons could be something like risk to the health of the wife or REAL financial hardships or some other LEGITIMATE reasons. You can’t avoid children this way just because you donn’t feel like having them.

 

[AgnosTheist]

I’m kind of curious what different religions say (if anything) about relations between a husband and wife.

With evangelicals:

• The woman should submit to their husbands
• Husbands should love their wives as their own flesh.

For me that balances it out. For me this is the most ideal relationship. Its virtual leadership, but practical equality. A person will not hurt his own flesh. a person listens to the needs of his own flesh.

 

[ricmat]

I’m kind of curious what different religions say (if anything) about relations between a husband and wife.

For example, Muslims believe that they are rewarded for acting on their sexual desire with their spouse. If you want to ask why, the reason, based on narrations from the prophet, is that if that desire had been acted on unlawfully (outside of marriage) it would be a major sin, for which there is a prescribed punishment. So they are rewarded for relations inside of marriage.

Theology of the Body goes into this in detail. Catholics may not EVER use anyone, especially their spouse merely as an object to satisfy lustful desires. This is demeaning to both people who are involved.

The marital act must be done in a spirit of total self giving. And of course, you can only totally self give to a single person, otherwise it wouldn’t be total self giving, it would at best be partial self giving.

 

[manualman]

I’m kind of curious what different religions say (if anything) about relations between a husband and wife.

For example, Muslims believe that they are rewarded for acting on their sexual desire with their spouse. If you want to ask why, the reason, based on narrations from the prophet, is that if that desire had been acted on unlawfully (outside of marriage) it would be a major sin, for which there is a prescribed punishment. So they are rewarded for relations inside of marriage.

I have heard other things about other religions, though, which if incorrect, I hope can be clarified by other posters.

1. For example, I’ve heard that in some Christian denominations, a man is not allowed to have sex with his wife if she’s pregnant, because the purpose of the sex is only procreation (not recreation.)
2. I’ve heard that some Christians believe a man is not allowed to look at his wife with desire, or that it’s some kind of mortal sin for him to do so.

Anyone know about this? Thanks in advance.

What a creative distortion!

1. Catholic sexual moral teaching says that our sexuality is fundamentally both unitive and procreative. Anyone who takes a positive action to render marital sex sterile, either temporarily or permanently, not only destroys the procreative element, but badly damages the unitive element. We have been given sexual urges not for personal gratification, but to lead us towards a marital love that grows deeper with time and even sanctifies us. When we misuse that urge to merely gratify ourselves, we lose much of the benefit God built into marriage. This does NOT translate into the distortion “sex is only for making babies.” Women were created by God fertile only a part of the time. Unlike many animals, they are physically and emotionally capable of sex during unfertile times. Sex then is not inherently merely self-gratifying like it is when the couple purposely sterilizes their love. Thus pregnant sex is fine, assuming the wife is comfortable enough to enjoy it!
2. There is a very big difference between desire and lust. Lust is about ones SELF. In lust, a man USES a woman as an object that serves merely to gratify him. It is inherently selfish and a marriage license does not change that fact. Desire, on the other hand is a normal part of marital love and can lead to a healthy mutually giving sexual embrace.