Religious mania is ruining my life

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JarnathanToothass

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A lesser-known form of obsessive-compulsive disorder is religious mania. I have suffered from it for about two years. Conveniently (sarcasm), I also have trouble staying away from porn. That’s been an issue for about 5 years. I have a debilitating, psychological fear of God. I feel I need to keep going to confession over and over and over since I have this porn issue. After all, mortal sin will send me to hell, right? So if I die before confessing my sins, I’m going to be damned. I’ve done everything trying to end this porn issue. I spent hundreds of dollars on web filters, DOZENS of hours trying to get those filters to work. I’ve been to therapy. NOTHING HAS WORKED. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Please give me some advice. YOU DON’T KNOW THAT GOD WON’T SEND ME TO HELL JUST BECAUSE I’M ADDICTED TO PORN. SO DON’T TRY TO COMFORT ME LIKE THAT. YOU HAVE NO EVIDENCE FOR OR AGAINST THAT. SOMEBODY HELP. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
 
Spring break brings some interesting thread topics to CAF.

I will be praying for the issues you are having and that you will be abe to find
peace with God and overcome the other problems.
 
Please get away from the Internet and call a mental health helpline. You can reach the National Alliance on Mental Illness at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).
 
I’m sorry you are going through this suffering in your life. I will include you in my prayers. I think it would be helpful to meet with a spiritual director, a local priest that might be able to walk with you through your journey. But your best option at this moment is to seek help. You need someone to talk to. Calling the phone number mentioned above might be something to strongly consider.

God bless you. Always remember you are loved and valued. This trial will eventually pass.
 
Another issue you seem to contend with is scruples! I would highly recommend you find yourself a regular confessor to guide you with these multiple issues.

7 Saints that can help you overcome your porn addiction:
  1. St. John Paul II (a love for chastity), 2) St. Maria Goretti (purity before sin), 3) Blessed Mother (Immaculate purity), 4) St. Augustine of Hippo (an example of conversion), 5) St. Thomas Aquinas (a zeal to refrain from sin), 6) St. Agnes of Rome (chaste until death),
  2. St. Maximilian Kolbe (purity inspired by Mary)
If you are not already seeing a good counselor/therapist I would certainly recommend getting yourself who is willing to help you lead a chaste life and to work on your other issues. Please know that my prayers are with you.
 
JarnathanToothass said:
… After all, mortal sin will send me to hell, right? …
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Unrepented mortal sin will condemn. An act of perfect contrition will forgive mortal sins even before one can get to individual confession. Actual sin is always voluntary, so if there is a compulsion then it is involuntary – and there can be a will against it even as a material sin occurs.
 
There is hope brother!
I have been addicted to porn since I was about 12 or so. I had a healing encounter with our awesome threesome (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) as an adult at a Steubenville Youth Conference. I have have been clean from porn for the past 9 years (except for one minor slip this past summer).
There are many resources out there but, ongoing prayer and active participation in the Catholic sacraments (reconciliation and the Eucharist) would
be the best place to start.
Here is a link to some resources online: National Catholic Register
Please focus your attention and prayerfully consider what is said in the LAST PARAGRAPH of the following:

CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH​

SECOND EDITION
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.​

Peace be with you!
 
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The problem is that it’s an addiction, an addiction that needs to be broken. Try going to bed at night listening to spiritual talks to start breaking loose from the chains. Feed your mind good food, not poison. Begin with this one: Link
 
The thing that stands out is the fact that your relationship with God is missing all intimacy and joy. I pray that somehow you find it.
 
Talk to your therapist about additional treatment, perhaps with a psychologist or psychiatrist specializing in this area. This is a mental illness and you must seek help in that quarter. Your pastor may need to coordinate with your mental health team.
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Here are some things that have helped me. Go to Mass every day. If you can’t receive, don’t, but still go to Mass every day. Make a Holy Hour every single day, even 2 or 3 or FOUR if your state of life allows it. Just sit in front of the tabernacle. If there is a perpetual adoration chapel, go at night or whenever you’re most tempted. The Rosary. As many decades as your state of life allows. Beg the Blessed Virgin, and I mean beg her for purity. Mortify yourself. Kneel until it hurts, or kneel on your fingers and say three Hail Marys for purity.
 
God’s not going to “gotcha” on a mere legalistic timing issue.

Please speak to your priest about your compulsiveness. He may have specific recommendations regarding Confession.
 
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WHAT!?!?!?

That’s horrible advice. Very uncatholic and the worst thing he could do…
 
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He is ocd’ing on religion.

Actually, I have reconsidered. All of the advice here is bad, because no one other than a mental health professional who is able to engage OP is qualified to be giving advice on this. As a result, I am removing my initial post.

OP. Please get some mental health care. Reach out to your priest for a referral if you aren’t sure who to call.
 
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Matthew 18:6

I’m confident that OP is not going to put religion aside and that God is going to help him root out his vices.

We are praying for you OP.
 
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Find a good Catholic priest who teaches the fullness of faith in union with the magisterium, and tell him everything you have told us here.
 
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