Religious Order or Job?

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sklenko

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I may have posted this question here…But it bothers me more and more…
I have been thinking about it for a longer time, but now the time is passing quickly. I am to finish my university studies this May. Then I am not fully decided what to do…
I have been thinking about joining a religious order four years now. I want to join one (at best with Ignatian spirituality), but on the other hand i would also like to have a work experience…
That´s the real reason I want to postpone entering the order…
Some days ago I came back home from studies abroad(just one semester/term in Italy). I got some real life experiences, let´ s say slaps. And I think I need more…
I read many books over vocation discernment and the time to do the decision…
From your point of view, would it be bad/waste of time if I postponed my decision to enter the order just for one year?When on the retreat the priest asked me why I was speculating…
Any advice…or similar stories
 
If you think that being in a religious order isn’t “real life” then you are in for a shock. Orders are filled with real people who will give you all the real experiences you could wish for.

No one goes into a religious order to leave dealing with people behind. Just read the experience of St. Bernadette in the convent or St. Teresa of Avila (the ones I’ve read about). They got plenty of slaps in the face–all that anyone could ever wish to have! 😉
 
Thanks Della!
Of course, the religious live in the same world…But for me who is intelectually-inclined could be maybe better to undergo much more work-life experiences.
Isn´t it better when a priest can give the people first-hand advice from their previous work experiences?
 
sklenko said:
Thanks Della!
Of course, the religious live in the same world…But for me who is intelectually-inclined could be maybe better to undergo much more work-life experiences.
Isn´t it better when a priest can give the people first-hand advice from their previous work experiences?
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I don’t think the first duty of a priest is to “relate” to the people but to lead the people. 😉 But, seriously, your life experiences, whether in the work force or the monastery are just as valid as anyone else’s and there are always lessons to be learned no matter what path you walk in life.

Besides, this argument has been used for all sorts of things, like a married priesthood or even living a life of sin. It really doesn’t make one a better priest or religious to have had any one type of life experience(s) previously. All that matters is our willingness to be used by God in any way he sees fit. Yes?

I will keep you in my prayers–please say a prayer for me, too.
 
I agree with everything della says except… those who come out of our white-bread middle class suburbes DO NOT live in the real world.

So I would advise that you take a year or two, or three , and go get a job - digging ditches for 6 dollars an hour. When your eyes cross and your knees wobble from fatigue and you go to go home , but you have to walk because you ran out of gas money three weeks ago, and your boss doesn’t give a hoot that you know Shakespeare by heart, but rather envies and mistrusts you because you do, you will learn something then. You’ll be in the real school then. You won’t be struggling to empathise with a medieval peasant, you will be one.

And if you have real spiritual aspirations, take six months, and go find out what misdemenor you can commit - you don’t want to be plastered with the permanent scarlet letter of a felony - that will put you in jail for 6 months. The worst people - evil people - you will ever meet are not in jail and never will be. They are pretty, popular, and affluent. They don’t teach you that in college, in the office, or in the middle class. You learn that in the gutter, with the boot on your neck. It is no shame to go to jail. Peter , Paul, John, Jesus and Doestoevsky went to that school. It is an excellent school. Real Ivy league.

I’m not advising you to do what I haven’t done. I have been there. The middle class is not the real world and college is not the real world. It always amuses me when these white collar types talk about things like " No means No. " No, they don’t know what NO means. They haven’t experienced a real NO.
God bless you. I wish you well.
 
I think it will still be okay to postpone it for a year or two. At least, if you enter religious life, you won’t be thinking, “what if…”

If it is God’s calling, it won’t disappear easily. After all you’ve been studying in university for so long, so I believe you don’t want it to be wasted right? 😉
 
vince2paul said:
I think it will still be okay to postpone it for a year or two. At least, if you enter religious life, you won’t be thinking, “what if…”

If it is God’s calling, it won’t disappear easily.)
Click to expand...
X2 👍

I am debating the same thing lately because I have an opportunity to be involved in a sports ministry internship in romania for two years. So I am debating about getting involved in that and then entering the order. Really pray about it and seek advice from a Spiritual Father.
 
Jeepmeade said:
X2 👍

I am debating the same thing lately because I have an opportunity to be involved in a sports ministry internship in romania for two years. So I am debating about getting involved in that and then entering the order. Really pray about it and seek advice from a Spiritual Father.
Click to expand...
Questioning ourselves is good - (as long as it doesn’t become neurosis) - it keeps us from complacency and self-
righteousness.

I agree with the person who posted that our pampered middle-class is not real life for too many people - read some liberation theology and really stand-under what it means.

Are you running to embrace God in the religious life or away from embracing God in the ’ world ’ (which even in religious life you will find yourself doing any way) ?

Perhaps you could talk to a community whose ideals attract you - they might well advise you to do other things before you enter.

God Bless you.
 
sklenko said:
Thanks Della!
Of course, the religious live in the same world…But for me who is intelectually-inclined could be maybe better to undergo much more work-life experiences.
Isn´t it better when a priest can give the people first-hand advice from their previous work experiences?
Click to expand...
Seems to me that the role of the priest is to love (agape) the people into the kingdom of heaven as a servant of the servants of God - Just as Jesus did. Be care full giving advice - it can be dangerous and counterproductive - listening is more important than talking.
Try reading -‘I heard the owl call my name’ -( can’t remember the author ) and the one set in India - I think it’s called ’ The City of Angels’ which includes a priest who Indianises himself ( again I forget the author ) but a google search wil probably find them.

Agape.
 
I think that you should differentiate between religious life and the priesthood. Although they are frequently combined, you can be a religious, a priest, or both.

In my opinion, anyone serious about the faith who has no disqualifications would benefit from joining a religious order! There cannot be too many religious. Of these, some are suitable to be priests.
 
You are right…
I have just read an excerpt from Fr Sullivan´s book (Jesus is calling you) MJ(Miles Jesu) where he gives some encouraging advice. Surely, I have to pray more…
From what I have experienced lately in Italy now I see I should get more painful and real-life shoots…I shared the living there also with illegal immigrants who pusrued quite another lifestyle of me…I tried to be honest to them until I found out they just tried to misuse me…This was good at least for knowing that I can do only the good to those who want only to utilize me. I got false money back, one of my companions seemingly a good friend took drugs, another one was doing what a husband and a wife do with his girlfriend…It was terrible! Do I have to go on?
However, there were also many good people who helped me a lot, including university chaplains(Jesuits)…
Now I can see the life of immigrants from another perspective. They suffer a lot in Italy, let alone another countries…
All in all, this radical secular lifestyle was some quite different from mine…I never took a cigarette(let alone drugs), being still a virgin…For them it was unbelievable and wanted me to change it. Fortunately, I know whom I want to follow. Jesus showed me many signs and will be doing so…

There are another things to talk about…
 
sklenko said:
You are right…
I have just read an excerpt from Fr Sullivan´s book (Jesus is calling you) MJ(Miles Jesu) where he gives some encouraging advice. Surely, I have to pray more…
From what I have experienced lately in Italy now I see I should get more painful and real-life shoots…I shared the living there also with illegal immigrants who pusrued quite another lifestyle of me…I tried to be honest to them until I found out they just tried to misuse me…This was good at least for knowing that I can do only the good to those who want only to utilize me. I got false money back, one of my companions seemingly a good friend took drugs, another one was doing what a husband and a wife do with his girlfriend…It was terrible! Do I have to go on?
However, there were also many good people who helped me a lot, including university chaplains(Jesuits)…
Now I can see the life of immigrants from another perspective. They suffer a lot in Italy, let alone another countries…
All in all, this radical secular lifestyle was some quite different from mine…I never took a cigarette(let alone drugs), being still a virgin…For them it was unbelievable and wanted me to change it. Fortunately, I know whom I want to follow. Jesus showed me many signs and will be doing so…

There are another things to talk about…
Click to expand...
Good for you! 👍
 
I’m in the same situation as you, sklenko - I’m currently applying to a Carmelite convent, and I’ll be graduating from university in May. The advice I’ve received on this from a priest who’s done some work as a formator in a seminary is to try out the convent as soon as possible (if I get accepted that is) - they have a three-month observorship that basically works as a trial period to see how you fit into the life there. While this priest understood my desire to have “real-life experience”, he told me that if I do in fact need this experience, the community may very well tell me so, and send me off to work for a year or two before letting me come back as a postulant.

The problem with putting it off is that it can become a slippery slope, especially if, like in my situation with my mom who doesn’t approve of my entering a convent, you have someone pressuring you not to go in. I don’t know what you’re like, sklenko, but I know that for myself, if I started putting off entering, I would keep putting it off, always saying “I’ll just work a little bit longer” or “I’ll just do this one last thing that I want to do” before going in, and with the added pressure from my mom, I could very well postpone my entrance indefinitely.

I also got the same advice from a Carmelite Sister, who told me that prior to entering, she got a very good job offer, and she was tempted to work for a couple of years, but she realized that if she took that job it would be too difficult to leave it and enter the convent, after seeing all the money going into her bank account and realizing that she would have to give it all up. Her very words were “I knew that if I took this job, the Carmelites would never see me again.”

I guess it depends on how strongly you feel called and what kind of person you are in regards to what I mentioned above, but my feelings on this are that if God has given me this rare and specific calling, then I should be grateful for it enough to pursue that calling before anything else. If it’s truly your calling, God will provide all the “real-life experience” you need.

I suggest that you spend some time before the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and talk to Him about your vocation - I’ve founs this to be a big help 🙂 . As long as you’re doing God’s Will, everything will work itself out. 👍

I hope this helps,

Karolina
 
Great posts!
Thanks Karolina. You know in prayer I feel a strong tug to enter the order (most probably Jesuits), but the temptation to have “real-life experience” doesn´t seem to be bad…
I would like to enter as soon as it gets…But don´t want to stay “out-of -touch intelectual”, just for would-be pastoral activities…
I will keep you now in my prayers…
 
Maybe as a compromise between a religious order or getting a job, you could join the Jesuit Volunteer Corps and spend a year or two with them.

JVC
 
sklenko said:
Great posts!
Thanks Karolina. You know in prayer I feel a strong tug to enter the order (most probably Jesuits), but the temptation to have “real-life experience” doesn´t seem to be bad…
I would like to enter as soon as it gets…But don´t want to stay “out-of -touch intelectual”, just for would-be pastoral activities…
I will keep you now in my prayers…
Click to expand...
Thanks, Sklenko, I’ll keep you in my prayers as well. 🙂

God bless,

Karolina
 
sklenko said:
I may have posted this question here…But it bothers me more and more…
I have been thinking about it for a longer time, but now the time is passing quickly. I am to finish my university studies this May. Then I am not fully decided what to do…
I have been thinking about joining a religious order four years now. I want to join one (at best with Ignatian spirituality), but on the other hand i would also like to have a work experience…
That´s the real reason I want to postpone entering the order…
Some days ago I came back home from studies abroad(just one semester/term in Italy). I got some real life experiences, let´ s say slaps. And I think I need more…
I read many books over vocation discernment and the time to do the decision…
From your point of view, would it be bad/waste of time if I postponed my decision to enter the order just for one year?When on the retreat the priest asked me why I was speculating…
Any advice…or similar stories
Click to expand...
I can relate to this, but it’s in a slightly different way. Instead of religious life or job, it’s religious life or helping my family out (they could use my help but don’t really need it).

A few days ago I realized something. I’m a “fixer” I have a need to fix things and make them better. Whenever my family was in chaos or upset I found myself getting upset and worked up as well. I would often start thinking about how I needed to help them, I had to put off entering until they were stable. However, later when I calmed down and was deep in prayer I thought about how I should enter the religious life and spend it praying and doing penance for my family.

I realized that when I was closer to God I was being lead towards a life of prayer, but when I had forgotten to pray or was distracted by things of the world (all the pains my family is going through) I was being lead towards a life where I would “fix everything”.

This may not apply to you, but it’s worth thinking about. Are you in prayer when thinking about gaining life experiences before entering…or are you anxious?

Also, I think if the Lord needs you to gain life experiences then he’ll put you in a position to get them. You have a choice to enter, he cannot force you to enter. If you do enter, he always has the trump to pull you back out. This I also can attest to, last spring I was all ready to find and join a religious community, but sudden medical issues stopped me. During this year the Lord has given me a ton of “real world experiences” that I would have preferred not to have 😛
 
kesa82 said:
I agree with everything della says except… those who come out of our white-bread middle class suburbes DO NOT live in the real world.

So I would advise that you take a year or two, or three , and go get a job - digging ditches for 6 dollars an hour. When your eyes cross and your knees wobble from fatigue and you go to go home , but you have to walk because you ran out of gas money three weeks ago, and your boss doesn’t give a hoot that you know Shakespeare by heart, but rather envies and mistrusts you because you do, you will learn something then. You’ll be in the real school then. You won’t be struggling to empathise with a medieval peasant, you will be one.

And if you have real spiritual aspirations, take six months, and go find out what misdemenor you can commit - you don’t want to be plastered with the permanent scarlet letter of a felony - that will put you in jail for 6 months. The worst people - evil people - you will ever meet are not in jail and never will be. They are pretty, popular, and affluent. They don’t teach you that in college, in the office, or in the middle class. You learn that in the gutter, with the boot on your neck. It is no shame to go to jail. Peter , Paul, John, Jesus and Doestoevsky went to that school. It is an excellent school. Real Ivy league.

I’m not advising you to do what I haven’t done. I have been there. The middle class is not the real world and college is not the real world. It always amuses me when these white collar types talk about things like " No means No. " No, they don’t know what NO means. They haven’t experienced a real NO.
God bless you. I wish you well.
Click to expand...
As one who’s come out of “white-bread middle class America”, I’d like to let you know that you can experience the real world there as well. As far as I knew, one didn’t need to dig ditches and get thrown in jail to experience the “real world”. Experiencing the real world in my book is knowing how to work for a living and work hard, knowing what sacrifice means, and knowing that evil exists. It is not based on what kind of bread you eat nor on how much money you make nor where you live.

There are people on all sides of the financial spectrum who don’t live in the real world, to limit it to a single group of people is bigoted.
 
Have you ever considered looking into the Opus Dei? They are professionals that devote their life to Christ. Some of them after sometime decided to become priests within the Opus Dei.
 
Thanks for your insights!
As far as I know, Opus Dei have their own way to pick up their candidates-they do it, not the one interested in them. Anyway, they are out there in Slovakia…
Thinking about this topic I suppose what is more important is not the job, but the life change after graduation. However, whilst I wouldn´t plan on taking job for more years I also don´t intend to start living on my own and lead the household.
sklenko
 
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