Removed TV and laptop from room to combat porn but still facing issues

[phil8888]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been struggling with porn for many years. I’ve tried various things to stop it, including confession. I took the TV out of my room, and for a while I had my laptop in the trunk of my car. It got very cold, so I was concerned that it would get damaged, and brought it back into the house. My reason for doing this was to remove my access to porn. It lasted while the computer was out there, but then started again when I brought it in. I was also more tempted as time went on, and I went to public computers and even there glanced at a couple of things.

Anyway, my friend went to a Catholic conference for about 1 week. I gave him my laptop before I left so that I would not have access. I even managed during that time to put inappropriate material on my cell phone from the university library computer. But overall, it was a success.

The question is that my laptop has become so integral to my life. I use it for so many things, including online banking, job searching, email, facebook, music, and other things for my life. I also realize that eventually my addiction to pornography forces me outside my home to seek out material and that ultimately it’s not the computer’s fault.

Please help me with any advice you may have for this.

Thanks.

 

[aggiecatholic05]

i could give you what a friend did. he bought a couple of those computer nanny program things that are supposed to block that stuff.

then to protect him from himself he had a trusted friend enter the passwords so that he couldnt undo them if he got too tempted. i think it worked pretty well for him. its not a complete fix, like you said you still have other options, but it should at least slow you down.

good luck in your struggle and congratson confronting it.

 

[Neithan]

I would second the advice above. Personally I use SafeEyes and have found it invaluable in my own struggle with internet pornography. But a filter alone will not solve the problem.

I would also highly recommend this book to provide you with a personal spiritual program for combatting this sin. Follow its advice! Get a spiritual director (a good priest you know) and go to frequent (once a week) confession with the same Confessor (possibly the same priest as your spiritual direction).

Seek out fellowship and accountability. Have your friend (that you gave the laptop to) or close family member set up your filter for you, so that only he knows the admin passwords. I think SafeEyes will have filiters for mobile phones soon as well.

Have you considered sexaholics anonymous? Fellowship is essential to overcoming such an isolating vice. Pornomore or trueknights are good Catholic groups dedicated to helping men strive for purity.

I would also recommend some reading on the Theology of the Body. We have to allow God to bring us to a place where we no longer *desire *to look at pornography, and enlightening our understanding to Church teaching will go a long way towards that.

Don’t lose hope; always repent after a fall (get to confession)! Remember that spiritual progress is always being made, because each day we are closer to Judgment.

God bless you. Let’s pray for one another.

 

[TLM08]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been struggling with porn for many years. I’ve tried various things to stop it, including confession. I took the TV out of my room, and for a while I had my laptop in the trunk of my car. It got very cold, so I was concerned that it would get damaged, and brought it back into the house. My reason for doing this was to remove my access to porn. It lasted while the computer was out there, but then started again when I brought it in. I was also more tempted as time went on, and I went to public computers and even there glanced at a couple of things.

Anyway, my friend went to a Catholic conference for about 1 week. I gave him my laptop before I left so that I would not have access. I even managed during that time to put inappropriate material on my cell phone from the university library computer. But overall, it was a success.

The question is that my laptop has become so integral to my life. I use it for so many things, including online banking, job searching, email, facebook, music, and other things for my life. I also realize that eventually my addiction to pornography forces me outside my home to seek out material and that ultimately it’s not the computer’s fault.

Please help me with any advice you may have for this.

Thanks.

You are absolutely right. You have good insight on this problem. I am approaching 50 years of age and have been battling this off and on since adolescence. Technology isn’t the problem, it’s us!

Internet filters are great for keeping children away from porn but they do nothing to keep the determined porn viewer from DVDs, magazines, or even the underwear ads in the newspaper. External forms of control are useless because they are all easily bypassed. Change must come from the heart. I myself am a work in progress as are the majority of good catholic men I suppose.

My best advice for you right now is to treat the porn and the self stimulation as two different sins. Your body is calling for “release” and that is largely what is driving you to the porn. Skip the porn and go straight to the release. This is still a sin, but it is an important change in behavior that breaks a viscious cycle.

Masturbation is always a matter for confession, but at least you will be able to cut off the power supply that’s fueling the porn habit.

This is only a first step toward cleaning out the garbage that resides in our minds left there by years of being exposed to a sex obsessed pornified culture. Prayer, frequent confession and G-Rated living is going to carry you the rest of the way.

Relapses are common, but that is what the sacrament of confession is all about. I was doing really good for almost 5 months, but now, once again I need to go to confession because I’ve since fallen.

Read some of my earlier posts on this topic that I posted a couple of months ago.
God Bless.

 

[TLM08]

I would second the advice above. Personally I use SafeEyes and have found it invaluable in my own struggle with internet pornography. But a filter alone will not solve the problem.

I would also highly recommend this book to provide you with a personal spiritual program for combatting this sin. Follow its advice! Get a spiritual director (a good priest you know) and go to frequent (once a week) confession with the same Confessor (possibly the same priest as your spiritual direction).

Seek out fellowship and accountability. Have your friend (that you gave the laptop to) or close family member set up your filter for you, so that only he knows the admin passwords. I think SafeEyes will have filiters for mobile phones soon as well.

Have you considered sexaholics anonymous? Fellowship is essential to overcoming such an isolating vice. Pornomore or trueknights are good Catholic groups dedicated to helping men strive for purity.

I would also recommend some reading on the Theology of the Body. We have to allow God to bring us to a place where we no longer *desire *to look at pornography, and enlightening our understanding to Church teaching will go a long way towards that.

Don’t lose hope; always repent after a fall (get to confession)! Remember that spiritual progress is always being made, because each day we are closer to Judgment.

God bless you. Let’s pray for one another.

This is fantastic advice as well… But I still believe that as men, we know when we are about to fall… we can feel it. Falling to the sin of solitary impurity is preferable to filling our eyes with filth and THEN engaging in the impure act. Prayers for all who struggle!

 

[AHapka]

Internet filters are great for keeping children away from porn but they do nothing to keep the determined porn viewer from DVDs, magazines, or even the underwear ads in the newspaper. External forms of control are useless because they are all easily bypassed. Change must come from the heart. I myself am a work in progress as are the majority of good catholic men I suppose.

True to a certain extent, but filters can be very useful. If one doesn’t have DVD’s and magazines in the house, they have to leave the house, go somewhere, and then buy it. That will usually give someone fighting the temptation enough time to “come to their senses” and give them an opportunity to stop before they get the material.

Internet porn, however, can be located in less then 10 seconds if you are on the computer. A filter gives the person an obstruction to prevent him or her from instantly giving into temptation. With more time, they might be able to build up enough strength to resist the temptation.

Not sure on newspapers, however.

 

[isw49017]

I have heard that over 50% of all American men struggle with this. I don’t know if that is true, but it wouldnt surprise me.

Find a confessor you are happy with. He should tell you that Jesus doesnt want you to beat yourself up over this, but continue to pray for God’s grace, which is the only way this can be beaten. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict is not going to stop the substance abuse overnight, or by themselves, you arent going to stop this overnight. Jesus wouldnt expect that.

But, what you can do is baby steps. Follow the suggestions in this thread. Good luck and God bless you!!!

 

[fbl9]

A simple snack of black licorice can also help in putting out the fire of lust…It has an anti-aphrodisact effect.
My prayers are with you phil8888 and you too tl.

 

[fbl9]

Internet porn, however, can be located in less then 10 seconds if you are on the computer. A filter gives the person an obstruction to prevent him or her from instantly giving into temptation. With more time, they might be able to build up enough strength to resist the temptation.

Not sure on newspapers, however.

You are right there about filters not allowing one to give in instantly…i just about fell today but i first had to adjust the preference settings,that gave me long enough to sayNO I WON’T DO IT…so far so good.