Removing children from a home CPS

[joandarc2008]

If you are really concerned you can report what you know to a school guidance counselor. They can look at the children and see if the children are showing signs that would cause them to call CPS. If they are homeschooled well - not much you can do. Also, if the neighbor made a “false report” - chances are CPS is already involved if Medicaid is. Most MediCaid requires a case worker of some sort. Also, they don’t pull Medicaid from children due to unfounded statements - they usually pull it due to founded ones or a lack of reply on the part of the respondent.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

I’m not sure if I would be allowed or considered to keep the children if they were removed from the home. But, based on the comments here, I don’t think they would be removed.

IF (very big if) the children were removed, as a relative you could be considered for placement. You would have to pass a background investigation (criminal history, DCS check), actually everyone in your house would have to pass, you would have to take some foster parenting classes, CPR and first aide, they would come and look at your house, etc. Pretty much everything that a foster parent has to do. Although, DCS would rather place with a relative than a non-relative. This is good information for you to know, just incase for some reason they are removed, you need to call the county DCS office that they are in ASAP, there are times that they can place straight with a relative.

 

[purplesunshine]

I wasn’t planning to call CPS.

It was just preying on my mind.

I was just worried. My relative told me that a neighbor recently make a false report that caused their medicaid to be pulled, so I thought it might be likely that a call to cps might be next.

Is your relative being honest with you or is the husband forcing his ideal of “its always someone else’s fault” on the wife? Also this means the children are without medical care…important if there is abuse.

I’m not sure if I would be allowed or considered to keep the children if they were removed from the home. But, based on the comments here, I don’t think they would be removed.

Our comments are based on the poverty…not the isolation…and what goes along with that. Weather or not you’d “get” the children is another story.

My relative goes along with everything her husband says. She wouldn’t even let me come and visit her for a day. It’s a 2 hour drive for me. Not that I know where they live. We aren’t given their actual address. We send things to my relative’s father in law’s house. It was just recently that my relative let it slip that their living conditions were so poor…

This scares the living daylights out of me. This is trouble this is a million red flags with fireworks screaming HELP. The conditions being poor are probably just a start. You may not be able to make a CPS report without knowing their address, however, the more you say about the isolation & control the more I am genuinely worried for the woman and children in this family. You do not know anything about how they’re living besides the slip up of the woman that they are in poverty. (which can be of concern, although not CPS level concern)

If the phone is a land-line and not a cell you can use the reverse phone book to find the address.

At any rate this is a very sad situation. Prayers are despritly needed.

 

[Catholic90]

Why won’t the father in law tell you where they live? What is wrong with him??

Many red flags.

If you know the COUNTY where they live, you could call the sheriff to do a safety check. Just say you are concerned about them and want someone to check on them. The Sheriff may be able to determine where they are.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

We try to help when we can. The dad of the family won’t let us see my relative and she’s not allowed to see us, but we are allowed to call and write.
The dad of the family can’t hold a job for very long, and he refuses to watch the kids, so the mother can work. She is very anxious, so I’m not sure she could work anyway. It’s frustrating because when a family member or a friend tries to help them, eventually, the dad sabotages it by lying. He’s not necessarily a bad guy, though. It’s more like he is limited in some life skills, education, and intellect. He’s like a 13 year old who doesn’t “get” how to function in the world. He screws something up and then lies to get out of it. And, just giving them money sometimes just makes the situation worse. Then, he doesn’t work at all–he mostly does odd jobs.

I understand why Jesus says that we will always have the poor among us.

But, I do think the kids are loved and well cared for. They just seem to live very primitively. Lately, they’ve been having problems with a neighbor and I was worried that the neighbor might report them to child protective services…The dad of the family seems to make a lot of enemies because of his bad social skills.

Leonie, I don’t think that CPS would take the children just because of the heating and plumbing situation.

The problem might be because of the husband not allowing the wife to see her family members. That might be the tip of the iceberg on how these kids and wife are *actually *treated. Hopefully, that is the extent of his controlling…but CPS might worry if they are being “forced” to live that way.

 

[leonie]

IF (very big if) the children were removed, as a relative you could be considered for placement. You would have to pass a background investigation (criminal history, DCS check), actually everyone in your house would have to pass, you would have to take some foster parenting classes, CPR and first aide, they would come and look at your house, etc. Pretty much everything that a foster parent has to do. Although, DCS would rather place with a relative than a non-relative. This is good information for you to know, just incase for some reason they are removed, you need to call the county DCS office that they are in ASAP, there are times that they can place straight with a relative.

do you know if there’s a certain bedroom stipulation? Right now, we have four of our kids in one large bedroom, two in another and the baby with us. It’s possible we could make the back porch into a bedroom…

 

[FickleFreckled]

As someone else said, medicaid doesn’t pull funding based on a 3rd. party’s report without first investigating. That sounds very fishy in itself. When it is pulled, it’s usually because the recipient doesn’t qualify financially or they haven’t disclosed all their income.

Leonie, I’m sorry to ask this question, but are you sure your relative is telling you the truth? You can’t see her, you can’t verify her living conditions. You can send stuff to a third party. Do you send money? Please don’t be angry for my asking this, but I know someone who isolates themselves far away from family and claims that their situation is much worse than it is in order to receive “help.” Over the years I personally poured a lot of money into the kitty before I realized I was being had. So my personal experience is coloring my question and I hope I haven’t offended you.

 

[leonie]

Is your relative being honest with you or is the husband forcing his ideal of “its always someone else’s fault” on the wife? Also this means the children are without medical care…important if there is abuse.

Our comments are based on the poverty…not the isolation…and what goes along with that. Weather or not you’d “get” the children is another story.

This scares the living daylights out of me. This is trouble this is a million red flags with fireworks screaming HELP. The conditions being poor are probably just a start. You may not be able to make a CPS report without knowing their address, however, the more you say about the isolation & control the more I am genuinely worried for the woman and children in this family. You do not know anything about how they’re living besides the slip up of the woman that they are in poverty. (which can be of concern, although not CPS level concern)

If the phone is a land-line and not a cell you can use the reverse phone book to find the address.

At any rate this is a very sad situation. Prayers are despritly needed.

They use cell phones–the kind you add minutes on. And, if they don’t have minutes, I can’t call. But, if we have extra money, we add minutes to my relative’s phone for her.

A lot of times things I hear don’t add up, but my relative is a very sweet, simple person who just believes everything her husband tells her.

The dad’s family is involved with them, so they aren’t completely isolated. Her parents recently sent money to her, so she could have a cache if she needed to leave, but she gave it to her husband…So, I just told her that I would come and get her anytime of day if she needed me to. But, she seems like she’s fine with their lifestyle. She’s just very passive. All her boyfriends have been the same “guy”-- just different variations.

 

[leonie]

As someone else said, medicaid doesn’t pull funding based on a 3rd. party’s report without first investigating. That sounds very fishy in itself. When it is pulled, it’s usually because the recipient doesn’t qualify financially or they haven’t disclosed all their income.

Leonie, I’m sorry to ask this question, but are you sure your relative is telling you the truth? You can’t see her, you can’t verify her living conditions. You can send stuff to a third party. Do you send money? Please don’t be angry for my asking this, but I know someone who isolates themselves far away from family and claims that their situation is much worse than it is in order to receive “help.” Over the years I personally poured a lot of money into the kitty before I realized I was being had. So my personal experience is coloring my question and I hope I haven’t offended you.

I didn’t understand the medicaid thing either. They were out of minutes on their phone for a while, so I thought maybe the medicaid office might have suspended things when they couldn’t contact them?

I don’t understand a lot of the stuff she tells me. I’m not sure she does, either. She lets him do all the “business” stuff, so who knows?

I really have no control, so I don’t know why I let it consume me. I just worry about my relative. They were out of contact for almost a year, and it was so peaceful. Now that my relative is calling and writing, things are getting stressful again.

They can move into a nicer house with a bathroom if they can come up with the propane money, but when I talked to other relatives about pooling money, the other relatives were leary. They think that the dad will find a way to get the money–by selling the propane if we buy it directly. Everyone has been burned all ready.

But, she won’t leave him.

 

[FickleFreckled]

Then I think you should pray for them and stop worrying. This is her decision, and it sounds like you and other relatives have reason to believe you’re not getting the truth or the entire truth. If she or the husband is deliberately manipulating your feelings and compassion to get some desired result, it’s time to let go.

 

[purplesunshine]

Then I think you should pray for them and stop worrying. This is her decision, and it sounds like you and other relatives have reason to believe you’re not getting the truth or the entire truth. If she or the husband is deliberately manipulating your feelings and compassion to get some desired result, it’s time to let go.

Making the call to CPS may be a good way to help let go. Its out of your hands now, and letting an authority know sounds like the best thing to do so your conscine is not burdaned.

 

[leonie]

Then I think you should pray for them and stop worrying. This is her decision, and it sounds like you and other relatives have reason to believe you’re not getting the truth or the entire truth. If she or the husband is deliberately manipulating your feelings and compassion to get some desired result, it’s time to let go.

I know you are right. I guess I’ll have to ask Our Blessed Mother to take over for me. It’s not like I’m really doing anything or can even do anything.

maybe I could go play with my own seven kids instead of fretting about the whole thing on the internet, huh?

 

[purplesunshine]

I know you are right. I guess I’ll have to ask Our Blessed Mother to take over for me. It’s not like I’m really doing anything or can even do anything.

maybe I could go play with my own seven kids instead of fretting about the whole thing on the internet, huh?

You can’t do anything but call someone who can do (or try to do) something. Your effort may save lives. It does sound like a really bad situation. If the woman refuses to get help one has an obligation to make sure the children are safe. There should be more people like you in these situations. So many children needlessly suffer or die becuase relatives didn’t want to rock the boat, even when they knew something was seriously wrong.

And yes, go play with your children. You’re very lucky to have them and they’re very lucky to have a loving and concerned parent.

 

[FickleFreckled]

Leonie, when I stopped helping, I was riddled with guilt, accusing myself of being selfish. The way I got beyond that was to take whatever I would have given them and give it to charity, and pray that any legitimate needs they have be met. And then left it in God’s hands.

There are usually state websites for Child and Adult Protective Services. If you’re not sure whether you should report, you can email anonymously, explain the situation, including the fact that all the information is unverified heresay, and ask whether anything you’ve told them is of legitimate concern that would warrant the attention of the CPS.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

do you know if there’s a certain bedroom stipulation? Right now, we have four of our kids in one large bedroom, two in another and the baby with us. It’s possible we could make the back porch into a bedroom…

It might be a bit different for relatives, although for us the children that are placed (not your own) have to 100 sq ft each and typically they don’t let male and female children room together, although I know of many cases where they have made exceptions to that rule if they are siblings or related. I know in our county they will work with you expecially if you are a relative. From all that you have said I seriously doubt that you have to worry, although if for some reason that changes let me know. I am in Tippecanoe Co., I know some people here that can tell you the in’s and out’s, even if you are not in this county the state pretty much works the same.

As far the the Medicaid… UGH, there can be a million and one reasons why it was messed up with them. It could be as simple as not doing their required update or didn’t respond to a letter mailed. If could be that someone did call and they suspend or cancel it until you find out and go in and fix the problem. Honestly, minus the abortion stuff, my experience with Medicaid as a foster parent has been one of the reasons I DREAD the thought of govenment run/controlled health care!!! OHHHH it is such a mess!!! Good note though is if (still a big one) the kids would ever get placed in foster care even relative they are automatically covered by medicaid (not that I haven’t had to call the CW a few times to get problems fixed with it), also depending on their ages they also get WIC (up to 5yo I think).

 

[Zelie_Louis]

Child welfare laws should not be speculated - please contact your local offices for correct advice.