renewal of vows

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kconnor

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Hi all,
Hope everyone is well. I’m getting married in April 2009 in Malta (Catholic church wedding.)
On my return, I wish to have a blessing at my local church so all my family and friends can help celebrate the occasion. I was just wondering if there are any tips/guidelines/rules I have to follow for this blessing?

For example, can I have bridesmaids? Do we exchange rings again??

Many thanks for your time,
Kate.
 
Apologies, I meant to put ‘I wish to have a renewal of vows’ (rather than ‘blessing’!!)

Kate.
 
Catholics are not permitted to have anything that looks like a second wedding. So ,no , exchange of rings and bridesmaids would not be permitted. Go ask at your parish what is permitted.
 
That’s interesting…I have just got off the phone to my Priest and he’s said wedding attire is allowed?

Why would he say this if you think it is not permitted??

Many Thanks.
 
kconnor said:
That’s interesting…I have just got off the phone to my Priest and he’s said wedding attire is allowed?

Why would he say this if you think it is not permitted??

Many Thanks.
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I read something a while back that said that consent for marriage can only be witnessed once. I know in cases of mixed religions you cannot have marriages in both churches. The main thing is the Church is supposed to take care and make it clear that this is not a marriage. But I know different priests will interpet things differently so that is why I told you to check on what would be permitted. I knew you could wear your wedding attire .I’ve seen that before many times . I’m always amazed at brides fitting into their wedding gowns many years later. LOL

Canon 1127.3 It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with 1127.1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the catholic assistant and a non-catholic minister, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties.
 
Right ok then, sorry I probably didn’t explain things very well in my first post.
I do understand this is not a second marriage. And I do know that it is in now way a celebration to be witnessed again. The Priest explained to me that it would just be to celebrate the FACT that I have got married (not sure if there’s a correct term for that!)

Luckily for me, it’s only 2 weeks after my actual wedding so hopefully I will still fit into my dress!
As one of my bridesmaids is not able to make Malta, my Priest also said it would be ok for them to be dressed in wedding attire also.
I have read somewhere (The book escapes me know) that even though you do not exchange rings, you can have them blessed again? Is this true?

Many Thanks!
 
kconnor said:
Right ok then, sorry I probably didn’t explain things very well in my first post.
I do understand this is not a second marriage. And I do know that it is in now way a celebration to be witnessed again. The Priest explained to me that it would just be to celebrate the FACT that I have got married (not sure if there’s a correct term for that!)

Luckily for me, it’s only 2 weeks after my actual wedding so hopefully I will still fit into my dress!
As one of my bridesmaids is not able to make Malta, my Priest also said it would be ok for them to be dressed in wedding attire also.
I have read somewhere (The book escapes me know) that even though you do not exchange rings, you can have them blessed again? Is this true?

Many Thanks!
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Yes you did explain that you understood. I was writing about how the ceremony can’t give the appearance to others that it is another wedding. Looks like your priest is well aware of what he is doing.
I can’t see how it would hurt to have the rings blessed again.I’m sure the blessing is in the Book of Blessings. What an exciting time.

I hope all your details work out and everything goes well.
 
kconnor said:
I have read somewhere (The book escapes me know) that even though you do not exchange rings, you can have them blessed again? Is this true?

Many Thanks!
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Once an object has been blessed by a priest, it is a sacramental. There’s no such thing as “blessing it again.”
 
Look, I’m just quoting information that was passed onto me. I’m not looking to be judged or looked down upon - especially not from a Catholic site. So I would appreciate help and advice, rather than corrections all the time.
 
Kconnor…
Just go with what your priest says. It is understandable that since you are getting married in Malta so far away from family, that you would want something like this for your family. I do think the format may be just a little different but you should be able to wear your dress but you might not be able to have bridesmaids. Not that bridesmaids and ushers are that important at a renewal anyway… but I would ask your priest what is or isn’t allowed explicitly so there are no misunderstandings on that day
 
kconnor said:
I have read somewhere (The book escapes me know) that even though you do not exchange rings, you can have them blessed again? Is this true?
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1ke said:
Once an object has been blessed by a priest, it is a sacramental. There’s no such thing as “blessing it again.”
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kconnor said:
Look, I’m just quoting information that was passed onto me. I’m not looking to be judged or looked down upon - especially not from a Catholic site. So I would appreciate help and advice, rather than corrections all the time.
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You asked the question, and you got an answer. Don’t attack the person who gave you the answer! And no one is “judging” you except God.

Trying to bless something twice reflects a lack of faith in the ability of God to do it right the first time, through His priest. Read about when Moses struck the rock for water twice, instead of once as instructed by God. His punishment for that was denial of entry to the Promised Land! It would seem to be a bad idea to take actions that reflect distrust of God’s ability.

Why can’t you just have a reception for friends and family later? Why does it need to look “ceremonial?” You are making the choice to be married elsewhere, and the Church cannot and will not bend its rules to accomodate your free choice.
 
duskyjewel said:
You asked the question, and you got an answer. Don’t attack the person who gave you the answer! And no one is “judging” you except God.

Trying to bless something twice reflects a lack of faith in the ability of God to do it right the first time, through His priest. Read about when Moses struck the rock for water twice, instead of once as instructed by God. His punishment for that was denial of entry to the Promised Land! It would seem to be a bad idea to take actions that reflect distrust of God’s ability.

Why can’t you just have a reception for friends and family later? Why does it need to look “ceremonial?” You are making the choice to be married elsewhere, and the Church cannot and will not bend its rules to accomodate your free choice.
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Delightful - you have just proved my point. If I’m asking for ADVICE, I do not need to be told how wrong I am to think about various things.
The reason I want something ‘ceremonial’ is because half my family (gradparents etc) live in Malta. They are too old to travel. So I am making my way over there. This leaves behind the rest of my family who are just as important to me, but they cannot afford to journey all the way to Malta. So before you pre-judge me on my reasons, please could you just help with the problem at hand, or don’t reply at all! I already know what the Church will or will not do for us and again - this point is nothing to do with the question in hand.
 
Seatuck and BlestOne - thank you very much for your helpful responses. I have just phoned my Priest and have arranged a meeting with him (he’s been on holiday for the past 2 weeks!)

Many Thanks again.
 
kconnor, why are you so angry? You asked this question on a public forum. People have presented their advice from different angles, and on different aspects of the questions you asked. Because you don’t like some of the answers, or questions back to you, you think you are justified in getting angry at us? We’re just telling you what the Church says about it, and correcting some mistaken impressions you seem to have.

Regardless of what you think of anyone’s post, you did ask this on an international public forum. Did you think you would only get, “Oh how wonderful, I totally agree with EVERYTHING you said!” type of answers? What if you really do have a mistaken idea, especially one that could endanger the validity of your marriage? Wouldn’t you want to be told that, or would you rather everyone glad-hand you, and you not find out the consequences until later?

Jeez…🤷
 
I’ve never said I don’t take on board people’s opinions. What I do not appreciate is the tone some people use. I like to give and receive advice, what I do not like is unsupportive people who are just trying to cause an argument. I live with good morals, and try to do right be people. I respect people’s views and opinions, and hope they respect my personal opinions and beliefs too. That’s good enough for me.

I find it very difficult to understand why couples who celebrate their anniversary can have a blessing (my church has blessed many couples like this) yet on here, I am being told this is wrong. What’s wrong with celebrating something good about life? What’s wrong with close people coming together and being happy for the couple who are surviving when divorce rates have rarely been so high?

I think the English have a very different view on this compared to the Americans.
 
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