I agree. God doesn’t care about my sufferings. He is out of touch.
Doesn’t care about them like you do is different from
doesn’t care at all. Like take me for instance. I don’t care about your sufferings like you do. But I do care. It’s just easier for me to be a step apart from them. I can have an outside view. Because it’s not my direct challenge. God’s got an overall view on this. It’s kind of like having kids in the car. Kids who can’t wait until you get to the park an hour away. For them they can’t even figure out how long an hour is. So they keep asking if they’re almost there. But you know what an hour is. You know the time’s close. So you’re patient with their strain in this. You’re not going to get all worked up along with them.
Assuming God wants me, which I don’t think he does.
Well I understand that. I mean I don’t think He wants me either. I mean honestly. Why would He?
Right. He’s got the time. I don’t.
Nah. You’re an eternal being too Bob. You’ve got lots of time.
The order that is being shipped is my one way ticket to hell.
K. Maybe it’s time to find out what you’ve been up to man. Because usually when we pray in earnest we’re in the clear. We don’t usually ask for God to send us to hell. I mean not usually.
If you’re after reassurance then it’ll come once you settle down enough to pick it up. If you want forgiveness you’ve got confession. If you want to feel holy do some good reading. If you want peace you can go visit Him in adoration. If you just want a bit of a pick-up let us know and we’ll supply it. If you’re just after drama well what the heck. I’ve got time for that too. PM me all the details. We’ll work it through together. I don’t know.
As a mere mortal, a speck of dust, there is a timeframe. I can’t afford to wait forever, I can’t wait forever, for God to actually talk to me.
He won’t talk to you like that. He’s not on tap. You can’t summon Him to hang out with you. But. You can go visit Him in adoration. You can get feedback through confession. You can get inspiration in reading thick books. You can just be a bit patient and wait for His reach to filter down. I mean God’s a bit like the sun. His rays are there to be felt. But you can’t get them to come into your basement. You’ve got to sort of wander out into the light to feel that warmth. You’ve got to make that kind of effort.
As a result, I’m afraid that God has truly rejected me and does not want me.
I want to know God, to love God and get closer to him. But I’m not allowed to. He does not want me.
Don’t get too down in this. God’s a caring being. He’s not going to abandon you. He just wants you to do a lot of this on your own. I mean he’s watching you stumble around a bit like a parent watches their kid take its first steps. They can’t keep reaching down and steadying things. Because no real learning gets done that way. But in the same way He won’t let you fall too far down if you’re trying not to.
Peace Bob. I know you’re in a bad way with this. But struggling’s how we build up muscle. I mean there’s really no other way.
-Trident
