G
GodsPrincess
Guest
Hi folks 
I am going to see my respiratory specialist tomorrow. The conditions I have are hyperplastic left heart syndrome, hyper plasia left heart and secondary pulmonary hypertension plus I only have one lung (if that means anything to anyone!!) and these are some pretty big things. I am not currently on any treatment and I pray God sustains my health so abundantly that I can continue without. However, with all my years of hospital and specialist visits, I have developed a great anxiety of the “big guys” (big specialists, heart lung, etc) and I have an appointment at 9am tomorrow and I am absolutely stressed to the point of utter stupidity…
I know God’s plan for me is the final say. I know that when and if drs start speaking about transplants it doesn’t make it so. (Especially since I’ve had such a great run thusfar!) God has sustained me all my life and has allowed me many graces and many amazing miracles in regards to my health so I know that He ultimately will decide what’s going on. I also know that patients have a way of making their drs look like suckers in terms of doing everything the dr says they can’t… I also know that no doctor can put a ticker on my life as again, God is the rule maker and GOD is the only one who has that decision. And I know God has graced me so much thusfar but I am so, so, so, so scared. I feel so riddled with anxiety to the core of my heart. When I became an “adult” at 18, I stopped going to my appointments out of fear and because at the time I was not living with my Mother, I didn’t have her on my back to get them done… and now at 24, I’m trying to take responsibility. I have only seen the specialist once since my 18th which was around June last yr and it was just a quick initial visit where he tossed around things about treatments and “other options” which completely scared me…
I have the support of my Mum and I know I kind of shrink in to scared-child mode. I just want everything to be OK for another 6 months… and I am happy to take it appointment by appointment - and I feel healthy, I don’t feel like my condition has changed since the last visit less than 1 yr ago… but it doesn’t console my fear.
I guess I am asking for you all to pray that the doctor has compassion and encouragement and will find nothing wrong with me (well… nothing new wrong with me at least,
) and that I can put my utmost Faith in my one and ONLY plan-maker, and that I will trust Him and HIS plan more than the word of a dr. I pray that I will feel the Lord with me tomorrow, that He will be beside me holding my hand and comforting me when the anxiety gets too much.
So… if you could all just pray for me to feel confident with everything, and all of the above really… that would mean a lot – thanks for hearing out my rant. =)
I am going to see my respiratory specialist tomorrow. The conditions I have are hyperplastic left heart syndrome, hyper plasia left heart and secondary pulmonary hypertension plus I only have one lung (if that means anything to anyone!!) and these are some pretty big things. I am not currently on any treatment and I pray God sustains my health so abundantly that I can continue without. However, with all my years of hospital and specialist visits, I have developed a great anxiety of the “big guys” (big specialists, heart lung, etc) and I have an appointment at 9am tomorrow and I am absolutely stressed to the point of utter stupidity…
I know God’s plan for me is the final say. I know that when and if drs start speaking about transplants it doesn’t make it so. (Especially since I’ve had such a great run thusfar!) God has sustained me all my life and has allowed me many graces and many amazing miracles in regards to my health so I know that He ultimately will decide what’s going on. I also know that patients have a way of making their drs look like suckers in terms of doing everything the dr says they can’t… I also know that no doctor can put a ticker on my life as again, God is the rule maker and GOD is the only one who has that decision. And I know God has graced me so much thusfar but I am so, so, so, so scared. I feel so riddled with anxiety to the core of my heart. When I became an “adult” at 18, I stopped going to my appointments out of fear and because at the time I was not living with my Mother, I didn’t have her on my back to get them done… and now at 24, I’m trying to take responsibility. I have only seen the specialist once since my 18th which was around June last yr and it was just a quick initial visit where he tossed around things about treatments and “other options” which completely scared me…
I have the support of my Mum and I know I kind of shrink in to scared-child mode. I just want everything to be OK for another 6 months… and I am happy to take it appointment by appointment - and I feel healthy, I don’t feel like my condition has changed since the last visit less than 1 yr ago… but it doesn’t console my fear.
I guess I am asking for you all to pray that the doctor has compassion and encouragement and will find nothing wrong with me (well… nothing new wrong with me at least,
) and that I can put my utmost Faith in my one and ONLY plan-maker, and that I will trust Him and HIS plan more than the word of a dr. I pray that I will feel the Lord with me tomorrow, that He will be beside me holding my hand and comforting me when the anxiety gets too much.So… if you could all just pray for me to feel confident with everything, and all of the above really… that would mean a lot – thanks for hearing out my rant. =)
