Responding to Family Superstitions

[tartpief]

Hello everyone

My pregnant Korean friend(I am Korean myself too) was agonizing over her mother-in-law’s urging to pick an auspicious date for c-section according to sajoo(some system similar to astrology to determine good dates, names… you name it)
The soon-to-be mother is a former Christian but no longer practicing but thinks this doesn’t make any sense(and incompatible to her original birth plan. She was goig to do c-section anyway btw)

For harmony, I may have to tell my friend to just follow the in-laws.
Also, if something undesirable happens(e.g. The kid is not doing well in school, gets injured…), I know full well, being a Korean myself, that the in-laws may blame my friend for not picking the date they told her… like the rest of her life…

But my Catholic self makes me think that I should not let myself or those who are not superstitious bound by the kind of superstitions that inspire fear and anxiety and gives false sense of control.

I ask it because it is something I myself face, too. For example, my own sister tells me to not say certain words as she is preparing for an exam(She thinks saying certain words will make her fail at the exam) I do not want to actively be mean but I do not think I should be bound by the same fear she has. The best way I found to combat superstition is to trust in God and also accepting His Will for me. But my sister doesn’t share the same trust in God since she is not a Christian/Catholic. We are both adults and she is older than me for information.

How do I respond to this kind of superstitions lovingly but not compromisingly? Any ideas?

 

[AClaire11]

I’m not sure how you and your friend should respond, but there’s no excuse for treating someone the way you suggest she will be treated. She needs to make her medical decisions by taking into account what is best for her and her child, not by bowing down under the threat of emotional abuse.

 

[puzzledtoo]

I agree with AClaire11. I also believe one person’s superstitions are the religion of another. Who is to say what is superstitious and what is not? I’m not a follower of any organized religion as I view them all as based in superstitious. I also believe all superstitions are based in fact.

 

[pianistclare]

hmmmm. Generally the physician tell you when you will have your c section.
Mine did.
It’s on their schedule.
Problem solved.

 

[edwest2]

Hello everyone

My pregnant Korean friend(I am Korean myself too) was agonizing over her mother-in-law’s urging to pick an auspicious date for c-section according to sajoo(some system similar to astrology to determine good dates, names… you name it)
The soon-to-be mother is a former Christian but no longer practicing but thinks this doesn’t make any sense(and incompatible to her original birth plan. She was goig to do c-section anyway btw)

For harmony, I may have to tell my friend to just follow the in-laws.
Also, if something undesirable happens(e.g. The kid is not doing well in school, gets injured…), I know full well, being a Korean myself, that the in-laws may blame my friend for not picking the date they told her… like the rest of her life…

But my Catholic self makes me think that I should not let myself or those who are not superstitious bound by the kind of superstitions that inspire fear and anxiety and gives false sense of control.

I ask it because it is something I myself face, too. For example, my own sister tells me to not say certain words as she is preparing for an exam(She thinks saying certain words will make her fail at the exam) I do not want to actively be mean but I do not think I should be bound by the same fear she has. The best way I found to combat superstition is to trust in God and also accepting His Will for me. But my sister doesn’t share the same trust in God since she is not a Christian/Catholic. We are both adults and she is older than me for information.

How do I respond to this kind of superstitions lovingly but not compromisingly? Any ideas?

I have a good understanding of what you’re talking about. This choosing of auspicious dates, using certain words, and so on, are not just ‘superstitions’ to people who have it as part of their culture. This is also true in parts of Europe. However, this is not fear exactly. It is about acting in conformance to - usually - thousands of years of belief and practice. Also, in some cultures, the elder person in a family is to be respected. However, in cases where tradition, beliefs and respect are involved, you might say, “Since I am a Christian, I do not agree with this or that belief.” You may be met with looks of confusion, told you’re not being respectful or are being dishonorable, but you can say that the Church and God does not allow for these beliefs in the sense that while others can and do follow them, you cannot.

Jesus Christ is alive right now. His Church teaches us about how to live. What to regard as true and not true, on a vast variety of subjects. Superstitions are very common but we must consider our response and be prepared to answer or accept any criticism from others in our country/culture who have their reasons for believing certain things.

God bless,
Ed

 

[edwest2]

I agree with AClaire11. I also believe one person’s superstitions are the religion of another. Who is to say what is superstitious and what is not? I’m not a follower of any organized religion as I view them all as based in superstitious. I also believe all superstitions are based in fact.

“all superstitions are based in fact”? I study such things and I can’t agree that such an idea is true. A friend lived in Hong Kong for some years, and all I have to say is the information I obtained from him made me reexamine certain ideas. Some superstitions were ‘useful’ at certain times in certain cultures or groups, but that usually turned out to not be a superstition at all, but a practical response in certain circumstances that was confirmed by observation.

Ed

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Hello everyone

My pregnant Korean friend(I am Korean myself too) was agonizing over her mother-in-law’s urging to pick an auspicious date for c-section according to sajoo(some system similar to astrology to determine good dates, names… you name it)
The soon-to-be mother is a former Christian but no longer practicing but thinks this doesn’t make any sense(and incompatible to her original birth plan. She was goig to do c-section anyway btw)

For harmony, I may have to tell my friend to just follow the in-laws.
Also, if something undesirable happens(e.g. The kid is not doing well in school, gets injured…), I know full well, being a Korean myself, that the in-laws may blame my friend for not picking the date they told her… like the rest of her life…

But my Catholic self makes me think that I should not let myself or those who are not superstitious bound by the kind of superstitions that inspire fear and anxiety and gives false sense of control.

I ask it because it is something I myself face, too. For example, my own sister tells me to not say certain words as she is preparing for an exam(She thinks saying certain words will make her fail at the exam) I do not want to actively be mean but I do not think I should be bound by the same fear she has. The best way I found to combat superstition is to trust in God and also accepting His Will for me. But my sister doesn’t share the same trust in God since she is not a Christian/Catholic. We are both adults and she is older than me for information.

How do I respond to this kind of superstitions lovingly but not compromisingly? Any ideas?

I would just call it what is it right to their faces “Superstitious nonsense” Or if you want to be nicer. Just politely say “You may believe in that but I do not. I do not want to hear about it either.”