"Rest Time" for Kids Past the Preschool Age

[pensmama87]

For stay-at-home parents (or work-at-home, or anyone who’s regularly with their kids in the afternoon): do you have your older children take a rest or quiet time even if they have passed the napping age, and if so, how? Where do they go, what are they permitted to do, how do you enforce it, how long does it last?

My oldest is now five and almost never naps. He and my middle son (almost 3) share a room, but they can’t both be in there if my oldest isn’t going to sleep (so nighttime is fine, but naptime is out). My room is out because our baby sleeps in there. So I’m stuck with our living room couch, but frankly, it isn’t going well. He won’t stay there, isn’t quiet, and I’m spending all my time frazzled because I am getting exactly zero break time during my day - if I want any, I hide out with the baby or in the bathroom while I listen to him thunder about the house and pray he doesn’t wake up the other kids.

The theory is that he’s supposed to look at books/read quietly, or do a puzzle or play with quiet toys. This is what my mom did with us, but we were admittedly all mild-mannered children and not rambunctious ever. My younger two typically nap around two hours, and really, if he would give me just one I’d happily use the other one to just play with him, but I’m even more irritated by the end of the first hour because he’s spent less than five minutes of it in a way that would actually be considered relaxing for me.

It’s probably not often that our school gets a request for PM kindergarten, but you better believe I requested it! But I have to get through a summer until then. I’m very tempted to just let him watch TV for an hour, but…ugh.

Thoughts?

 

[ejlo1]

We never had any luck getting our kids to nap past the age of 2. And our son was not very good at being quiet and entertaining himself at that age either. The best things to keep him occupied were building forts and building toys like Legos.

I know it may be hard, but have you tried playing with him first once the younger two go to sleep? Sometimes if you get them started with an activity, like build a fort with him, then he can continue the game on his own and give you a break! (I think 20 min was the longest break we could hope for) Maybe you can try a special toy or activity he can only use when the others are napping, maybe something like Playdough that you don’t want the 3 yr old using?

 

[Xantippe]

For stay-at-home parents (or work-at-home, or anyone who’s regularly with their kids in the afternoon): do you have your older children take a rest or quiet time even if they have passed the napping age, and if so, how? Where do they go, what are they permitted to do, how do you enforce it, how long does it last?

My oldest is now five and almost never naps. He and my middle son (almost 3) share a room, but they can’t both be in there if my oldest isn’t going to sleep (so nighttime is fine, but naptime is out). My room is out because our baby sleeps in there. So I’m stuck with our living room couch, but frankly, it isn’t going well. He won’t stay there, isn’t quiet, and I’m spending all my time frazzled because I am getting exactly zero break time during my day - if I want any, I hide out with the baby or in the bathroom while I listen to him thunder about the house and pray he doesn’t wake up the other kids.

The theory is that he’s supposed to look at books/read quietly, or do a puzzle or play with quiet toys. This is what my mom did with us, but we were admittedly all mild-mannered children and not rambunctious ever. My younger two typically nap around two hours, and really, if he would give me just one I’d happily use the other one to just play with him, but I’m even more irritated by the end of the first hour because he’s spent less than five minutes of it in a way that would actually be considered relaxing for me.

It’s probably not often that our school gets a request for PM kindergarten, but you better believe I requested it! But I have to get through a summer until then. I’m very tempted to just let him watch TV for an hour, but…ugh.

Thoughts?

Educational TV? Electric Company? Leap Frog?

Or how about some craft time, with perhaps some special only-during-the-littles-nap items? I also really like dry erase markers and dry erase workbooks. You can get a lot of value out of them.

 

[MomaMary8]

My kids usually stop taking naps around the age of 3. The only ones who take naps in our house are the teenagers

When my oldest quit taking naps I kept to my routine of catching up on laundry or starting dinner or whatever odd thing I needed to do, I just began to include him with the chore. He learned to fold socks and sweep and dust. He’d hang out in the kitchen with coloring books and crafts while I cooked. Just quiet little things to keep us busy. He was never one to stay quietly in his room, but Legos and cars seemed to keep his hands busy enough that he would stop the running around. I had to give up “my” quiet time, but I gained some beautiful one-on-one time with my oldest. It was more precious to me than a nap after I got used to it. When I really needed a break I’d go out and shoot hoops with him and then let him practice on his own while I went back inside to do whatever was calling me. Sending him out to the sandbox was also a great thing! My new goal began to be getting the kids as exhausted as possible so they would go to bed a bit early at night . You’ll have to practice the phrase “go outside and play.”

If you were using that time to rest and energize yourself, I highly recommend coffee! My bedtime became earlier and more set just to make sure I could make it through the day ahead with all the little kids and no break.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

For stay-at-home parents (or work-at-home, or anyone who’s regularly with their kids in the afternoon): do you have your older children take a rest or quiet time even if they have passed the napping age, and if so, how? Where do they go, what are they permitted to do, how do you enforce it, how long does it last?

Never had a quite time for my kids after they outgrew their naps. I didn’t really mind if they were up and about during the day, in fact I perfered it. It meant they would go to bed earlier and I could have some down time at the end of the day. It also made bedtime easy, because they were tired and ready for bed.

My younger two typically nap around two hours,

One hour, that was my rule of thumb. Of course there could be exceptions. My MIL used to watch them sometimes and let them nap for two or three hours. I would pick them up from her house and she would say, “Oh, he took a BIG nap today.” and I would think, okay I’m going to be up late tonight.

 

[CradleJourney]

I’m very tempted to just let him watch TV for an hour, but…ugh.

Thoughts?

Truth? I used the tv. Had one that would NOT settle down for anything during the day (though he slept like an angel at night) except tv.

I kept it educational (kind of) - PBS stuff. And it allowed me to keep my sanity which I figured benefited him more than anything he lost by being stuck in front of the screen. I used vhs videos from the library - each about 30 min so he was allowed to pick one - then when it was done - “one more” then that was it for the day. Easier to have a tape that shuts off than having to go in and shut it off - plus no commercials.

And he learned all sorts of names of dinos, about animal habitats, and a smattering of Spanish. shrug

Same kid is now working towards earning his Eagle Scout, has straight A’s in high school, and has a nice group of friends. Also deciding between becoming a blacksmith and a computer programmer - or perhaps both.

TV is not necessarily a villain in my opinion if used with common sense and controlled.

So if you’re against using it no worries - I’m sure someone else will come up with something. But if you’re not using it just because of what others will think or you’ve only heard negative stuff - maybe reconsider. Up to you. Do what is right for your family.

You’re the mom - you got this!!!

 

[pensmama87]

I know it may be hard, but have you tried playing with him first once the younger two go to sleep? Sometimes if you get them started with an activity, like build a fort with him, then he can continue the game on his own and give you a break! (I think 20 min was the longest break we could hope for) Maybe you can try a special toy or activity he can only use when the others are napping, maybe something like Playdough that you don’t want the 3 yr old using?

Part of the issue is that we live in a smallish ranch-style house, so any toy that makes noise is going to make noise, especially when my son uses it. But I like the idea of playing with him first.

I also really like dry erase markers and dry erase workbooks. You can get a lot of value out of them.

My life will be forever changed! Those sound amazing!

If you were using that time to rest and energize yourself, I highly recommend coffee! My bedtime became earlier and more set just to make sure I could make it through the day ahead with all the little kids and no break.

I mostly use it to catch up on things, but I do enjoy the quiet while I do it. Caffeine and I are pretty good friends, too. I might see how we do if I get him involved in what I’m doing, but truth be told, I really like to be alone most of the time when I’m cleaning. So it might have to be small stuff to start.

Truth? I used the tv. Had one that would NOT settle down for anything during the day (though he slept like an angel at night) except tv…

TV is not necessarily a villain in my opinion if used with common sense and controlled.

This sounds like my son, though it has taken him up until now to really sleep well at night (but he does! And it’s wonderful!)

We do watch TV already and I pretty much have the same attitude as you and we keep it to educational Netflix, PBS, or library, and the occasional Disney movie for a rainy day or special occasion. I just don’t really want *more *of it - right now it’s about half an hour to an hour a day depending, which when the weather is good is plenty.

The good things: I have a suspicion his behavior will calm down when I quit babysitting in June (hurrah!). I’ll also have more time and energy to both be with my kids and get done what needs doing around here, and we’ll probably drop one of the TV times (right now I do one before my babysitting kids get picked up after cleaning up.)

 

[Xantippe]

My life will be forever changed! Those sound amazing!

They totally are!

You can reuse them over and over and over and over again. Of course there is the @#$%^&* wiping up, but a 5-year-old is big enough to be handed some wet wipes and dry paper towels and told to clean the pages.

 

[CradleJourney]

The good things: I have a suspicion his behavior will calm down when I quit babysitting in June (hurrah!). I’ll also have more time and energy to both be with my kids and get done what needs doing around here, and we’ll probably drop one of the TV times (right now I do one before my babysitting kids get picked up after cleaning up.)

That plus better weather (we hope) may help too - easier for him to run off steam outside It DOES get better - I promise! In the meantime, just keep on, keeping on - sounds like you’re thinking and problem-solving so that’s half the battle - it’s too easy to just give up sometimes when out-numbered by the littles. Good luck!

 

[Allegra]

For stay-at-home parents (or work-at-home, or anyone who’s regularly with their kids in the afternoon): do you have your older children take a rest or quiet time even if they have passed the napping age, and if so, how? Where do they go, what are they permitted to do, how do you enforce it, how long does it last?

My oldest is now five and almost never naps. He and my middle son (almost 3) share a room, but they can’t both be in there if my oldest isn’t going to sleep (so nighttime is fine, but naptime is out). My room is out because our baby sleeps in there. So I’m stuck with our living room couch, but frankly, it isn’t going well. He won’t stay there, isn’t quiet, and I’m spending all my time frazzled because I am getting exactly zero break time during my day - if I want any, I hide out with the baby or in the bathroom while I listen to him thunder about the house and pray he doesn’t wake up the other kids.

The theory is that he’s supposed to look at books/read quietly, or do a puzzle or play with quiet toys. This is what my mom did with us, but we were admittedly all mild-mannered children and not rambunctious ever. My younger two typically nap around two hours, and really, if he would give me just one I’d happily use the other one to just play with him, but I’m even more irritated by the end of the first hour because he’s spent less than five minutes of it in a way that would actually be considered relaxing for me.

It’s probably not often that our school gets a request for PM kindergarten, but you better believe I requested it! But I have to get through a summer until then. I’m very tempted to just let him watch TV for an hour, but…ugh.

Thoughts?

As I was reading I thought, “Just let him watch TV for an hour.” Some kids really don’t need naps at that age. I didn’t and I HATED forced nap time. I couldn’t fall asleep no mater how long I laid there. If felt like torture. I was too young to tell time and I never knew how much longer I was going to be forced to lay there, but I was afraid to ask because I might get in trouble. It was like being in “time out”, without having done a thing to deserve it.

 

[pensmama87]

As I was reading I thought, “Just let him watch TV for an hour.” Some kids really don’t need naps at that age. I didn’t and I HATED forced nap time. I couldn’t fall asleep no mater how long I laid there. If felt like torture. I was too young to tell time and I never knew how much longer I was going to be forced to lay there, but I was afraid to ask because I might get in trouble. It was like being in “time out”, without having done a thing to deserve it.

He does have a watch and can tell time, which is helpful. I always liked rest time even as a kid because it meant nobody would bug me and my book. But I have a very different personality.

Interestingly, after giving me a lot of trouble today which spurred my writing the post, DS fell asleep on the couch and napped about 45 minutes. Unless they go late - say past 4pm - napping hasn’t negatively affected bedtime sleep. So I want it as long as possible.

 

[Xantippe]

He does have a watch and can tell time, which is helpful. I always liked rest time even as a kid because it meant nobody would bug me and my book. But I have a very different personality.

Interestingly, after giving me a lot of trouble today which spurred my writing the post, DS fell asleep on the couch and napped about 45 minutes. Unless they go late - say past 4pm - napping hasn’t negatively affected bedtime sleep. So I want it as long as possible.

I love the penguin avatar! So cute!

 

[ThePCWife]

When we can get it, a teenaged girl for the afternoons. When we can’t, tv for 1-2 hours.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

For stay-at-home parents (or work-at-home, or anyone who’s regularly with their kids in the afternoon): do you have your older children take a rest or quiet time even if they have passed the napping age, and if so, how? Where do they go, what are they permitted to do, how do you enforce it, how long does it last?

My oldest is now five and almost never naps. He and my middle son (almost 3) share a room, but they can’t both be in there if my oldest isn’t going to sleep (so nighttime is fine, but naptime is out). My room is out because our baby sleeps in there. So I’m stuck with our living room couch, but frankly, it isn’t going well. He won’t stay there, isn’t quiet, and I’m spending all my time frazzled because I am getting exactly zero break time during my day - if I want any, I hide out with the baby or in the bathroom while I listen to him thunder about the house and pray he doesn’t wake up the other kids.

The theory is that he’s supposed to look at books/read quietly, or do a puzzle or play with quiet toys. This is what my mom did with us, but we were admittedly all mild-mannered children and not rambunctious ever. My younger two typically nap around two hours, and really, if he would give me just one I’d happily use the other one to just play with him, but I’m even more irritated by the end of the first hour because he’s spent less than five minutes of it in a way that would actually be considered relaxing for me.

It’s probably not often that our school gets a request for PM kindergarten, but you better believe I requested it! But I have to get through a summer until then. I’m very tempted to just let him watch TV for an hour, but…ugh.

Thoughts?

I have 5 ages 10 to 1. They all have " nap" time almost every day at 3. The older girls read or play in thier rooms. The two younger kids actually sleep. Occasionally the old ones sleep if they are sick or have been swimming all day in the summer. This provides me with much needed " no kids" time. They nap until mom gets home.

 

[Xantippe]

Baby Girl is 3.5 and her nap is fading out (as it did for her elder siblings at this age). I still usually make the effort of putting her in her room in the afternoon and hoping for the best, but it often sounds like a baby elephant got loose in there.

 

[newlywed8]

My two (4 and 2 1/2) no longer nap and I strongly enforce a rest/quiet time. They can play together, but it has to be quietly/calmly-- books, puzzles etc. I would strongly recommend finding a way to preserve it because I think that hour or two of kid free time can be invaluable. It gives everyone a chance to recharge. Even if the kids aren’t actually sleeping, I notice a difference in their temperments if they do not have any rest that day.

Could you maybe put your middle child to sleep first and have the baby sleep in his room, then allow the other one to have some quiet time in your room? Or vice versa (have middle one and baby sleep in your room for naps, oldest have quiet time in his room?)

 

[Allegra]

I am with Allegra on this one about hating nap time as a child. After I outgrew it, it felt like punishment to me having to lie there quietly. Even when I hadn’t even done anything wrong it felt awful.

Quiet playtime seems like a nice compromise, or turn on the T.V. no big deal. It’s not uncommon for little ones to still take naps on occasion like your child did the other day, but clearly the regular nap times are coming to an end you can see that. Put a few pillows out in front of the t.v. just in case!

I was always worried if the grownups would remember to come and get me when I was allowed to “wake up”. I would often cy about it. I know these caregivers didn’t mean to be cruel and were just trying to find time to get stuff done, but I really think it was borderline abusive. My mom actually pulled me from my uncle’s daycare over it after I came home crying. She asked why I was upset and I told her that my uncle had made me stay alone in a back bedroom all afternoon. She called him and asked if I was misbehaving and he told her that I was having “naptime” and I was “only” in there for three hours. At that point, my parents decided that they had philosophical differences with my uncle regarding childcare.

 

[pensmama87]

I was always worried if the grownups would remember to come and get me when I was allowed to “wake up”. I would often cy about it. I know these caregivers didn’t mean to be cruel and were just trying to find time to get stuff done, but I really think it was borderline abusive. My mom actually pulled me from my uncle’s daycare over it after I came home crying. She asked why I was upset and I told her that my uncle had made me stay alone in a back bedroom all afternoon. She called him and asked if I was misbehaving and he told her that I was having “naptime” and I was “only” in there for three hours. At that point, my parents decided that they had philosophical differences with my uncle regarding childcare.

Yikes. Yeah, I’m not talking three hours. Just one, and he is allowed to play, read, etc. He also knows when it will be over - before he could tell time I set a timer and now he has a watch and knows what time he can get up.

The past few days I’ve been allowing him one hour of TV while I rest or catch up on things and then we’ll do quiet activities together until his brothers wake up. It’s working OK so far, hopefully we’ll get better at it as we settle into a new routine.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Yikes. Yeah, I’m not talking three hours. Just one, and he is allowed to play, read, etc. He also knows when it will be over - before he could tell time I set a timer and now he has a watch and knows what time he can get up.

The past few days I’ve been allowing him one hour of TV while I rest or catch up on things and then we’ll do quiet activities together until his brothers wake up. It’s working OK so far, hopefully we’ll get better at it as we settle into a new routine.

Multiple kids makes a difference too. Three of my girls " nap" in the same room. It’s a pretty fun time for them.