Romance in movies

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Can someone help me out in this? Take simple romance in blockbuster movies, the guy that saves the girl in the end and they share a kiss, something… as simple as that. My mind will replay those scenes in my head, then I will become aroused and think of my husband and want to be with him. Is this sinful? Does this go against love, am I lusting? Could someone share something that could help me to distinguish? It’s like then these scenes become intrusive thoughts.
 
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Rose11 said:
My mind will replay those scenes in my head, then I will become aroused
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They are temptations so the arousing thoughts should not be willfully enjoyed (directly voluntary) and the temptation should be avoided also, if possible. Willful enjoyment outside of marital relations is lust. I inquired in confession about this very thing, so I am passing it on to you.

Modern Catholic Dictionary, Masturbation
Direct stimulation of the sex organs outside of sexual intercourse. The self-stimulation can be physical, by means of some external object, or psychic, by means of thoughts and the imagination. It is a grave misuse of the procreative faculty and when done with full consent and deliberation is a serious sin. The sinfulness consists in setting in motion the generative powers while preventing them from achieving, their natural, divinely intended purpose.
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Modern Catholic Dictionary, Indirect Voluntary
The unintended but foreseen consequence of something that is deliberately willed. This consequence is not desired either as an end or as means, but a person sees that he cannot get something else without getting it. He wills the cause of which this is a necessary effect.
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Really? Interesting. I honestly get so guilty, I feel like I’m not in reality.
 
You see a kiss and desire your husband. And you are unsure if this is lustful? If you entertain impure thoughts then lust is invoked. If you just desire your husband and wish to unite with him how could this be unholy? Do you think God wants you to desire your husband? What do you think marriage is? Honestly I have more questions for you than you have in this thread.
 
Rose11 said:
My mind will replay those scenes in my head, then I will become aroused and think of my husband and want to be with him. Is this sinful?
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No. That’s not lust. It’s just a reaction to what you’re viewing. The fact that you desire your husband is good. If you were entertaining impure thoughts about the guy in the movie that would be a problem. Lust is the disordered desire for sexual pleasure. Thinking about your spouse in a sexual manner or remembering an intimate moment with your spouse is not necessarily lust.
 
Just be aware that life isn’t always like the movies, either. It’s one thing to watch a romantic scene and smile because it makes you think of your spouse, but if it starts to make you critical and wish things between you and your spouse were more like the movies, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
 
I couldn’t comment on the deeper theological aspects of your question, but I wonder whether it’s just that you get more emotionally involved in these things than most people do. I am guessing that you are talking about films like Clueless, Legally Blonde/Legally Blonde 2, Pretty Woman, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Love Actually, Plus One (good film–deserves to be better known), etc. I enjoy these kinds of films, mostly because if I’ve had a long, hard day, there’s often nothing better than a feel-good romcom which demands minimal mental engagement. Fortunately, my husband likes them too.

One thing I would comment is that, generally, these kinds of films don’t actually have a lot of sex in them. Obviously I don’t know exactly what films you are talking about, but if you take Clueless, for example, in the UK, it has a 12 rating, which means a 12-year-old should be able to watch it without adult supervision. It is, after all, mostly a film about high school kids.

Personally, I would say that my reaction to watching these kinds of films is more like, “Aww, that’s cute”, rather than, “Mmm, so erotic”.
 
EmilyAlexandra said:
Personally, I would say that my reaction to watching these kinds of films is more like, “Aww, that’s cute”, rather than, “Mmm, so erotic”.
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Not sure that’s what she’s saying. I think it’s more like you’re watching something and there’s a romantic (perhaps not even sexual) moment, and suddenly you desire to be close to your husband.
 
AdamP88 said:
I think it’s more like you’re watching something and there’s a romantic (perhaps not even sexual) moment, and suddenly you desire to be close to your husband.
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In that case (and I am not qualified in Catholic moral theology), I don’t see why this is a problem or even a concern. I guess most people get that warm, happy feeling at the end of a romantic movie. Those kinds of movies are made to produce precisely that feeling. And I guess if you have a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend etc it will maybe make you think of them in a romantic way or make you reflect on your own happiness.
 
AdamP88 said:
Not sure that’s what she’s saying. I think it’s more like you’re watching something and there’s a romantic (perhaps not even sexual) moment, and suddenly you desire to be close to your husband.
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My wife has that reaction when she watches “The Neverending Story”.

No idea what that says about me.
 
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So right! I do get more emotionally involved in things. I guess where I get stuck is that when even when I am with my husband those scenes will pop in my head. Then I start to feel so guilty. But I’m starting to think, since it is not my intention, maybe It’s just my anxious mind and I need to give myself a little break/ not be so hard on myself.
 
No, you are not lusting.

Art that promotes eternal themes of romance, redemption, sacrifice, heroic acts, and the like are all good things as they promote virtuous action by people.

Romance in art (painting, statuary, poems, oration, and moving pictures) is meant to evoke these kinds of responses; and increase the bond between you and your husband.

God specifically designed men and women to be attracted to each other to grow the human race. Christ elevated it further in the Sacrament of Matrimony.
The first command to our first parents was, “be fruitful and multiply.” Romance is a tool to support God’s Commandment of Love.
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Deacon Christopher
 
Diaconia said:
No, you are not lusting.

Art that promotes eternal themes of romance, redemption, sacrifice, heroic acts, and the like are all good things as they promote virtuous action by people.

Romance in art (painting, statuary, poems, oration, and moving pictures) is meant to evoke these kinds of responses; and increase the bond between you and your husband.

God specifically designed men and women to be attracted to each other to grow the human race. Christ elevated it further in the Sacrament of Matrimony.
The first command to our first parents was, “be fruitful and multiply.” Romance is a tool to support God’s Commandment of Love.
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Thank you, Deacon Christopher.
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