Roommate blasphemy

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sweetchuck

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I don’t pose a poll here because I want open-ended thoughts. I need advice.

Tonight, my Buddhist roommate was playing a video game with a guest; I guess the CPU killed my roommate. His reaction, “f-----g Christ.”

Blessed be Your holy Name, Lord Jesus my love.

My reaction to my roommate, who has uttered this deplorable slur on several occasions, was simply, “That’s not necessary at all,” understanding that it was a slip of the heathen tongue.

His reaction was not an apology, or even a semi-apology as it has been in the past, but rather, “that’s something you’re just going to have to get over.”

…to which I responded with immense and escalating anger.

What should I do? I have been friends with this kid for a long time and have been with him as a friend through the death of his father (which shortly followed the death of his mother).

But my Lord Jesus is my God. His Name is blessed above every other name. “F-----g [my Savior]” is not something I will accomodate.

Help.

Has the relationship come to an end?
 
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sweetchuck:
I don’t pose a poll here because I want open-ended thoughts. I need advice.

Tonight, my Buddhist roommate was playing a video game with a guest; I guess the CPU killed my roommate. His reaction, “f-----g Christ.”

Blessed be Your holy Name, Lord Jesus my love.
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You could point out that using that language shows not only doesn’t respect you and God, he also doesn’t respect himself.

If he is dating decent women, you can suggest he get in the habit of using modest language around his friends (you), so as not to slip and turn off women 10 minutes after he meets them.

Or you can just hit him on the head with a brick (figuratively, of course). Try replying with “f-----g Budda.” Or “f-----g [insert his girlfriend’s name here].” Honestly, sometimes it really does take a sledge hammer to open up a coconut brain as dense as his. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/fighting/1/fighting48.gif
 
Nan S:
Or you can just hit him on the head with a brick (figuratively, of course). Try replying with “f-----g Budda.” Or “f-----g [insert his girlfriend’s name here].” Honestly, sometimes it really does take a sledge hammer to open up a coconut brain as dense as his. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/fighting/1/fighting48.gif
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I would not suggest doing that. It could anger him leading to him saying more things to offend you. I had friends who would often use the Lord’s name irreverently so eventually I just stopped hanging out with them. You can always pray for them as well.

matt
 
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marty1818:
I would not suggest doing that. It could anger him leading to him saying more things to offend you. I had friends who would often use the Lord’s name irreverently so eventually I just stopped hanging out with them. You can always pray for them as well.

matt
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You’re right, of course. If he does try it, let it be a desperation measure limited to once or twice, and for shock value only. More than that would be simply joining the pig in his own filth.

That brute has clearly demonstrated that he doesn’t care whether he gives offense.
 
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sweetchuck:
His reaction was not an apology, or even a semi-apology as it has been in the past, but rather, “that’s something you’re just going to have to get over.”

…to which I responded with immense and escalating anger.

Help.
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Since you mention that he has been apologetic in the past, could his rude reaction possibly be due to the “guest” you mention?

He may have felt the need to appear macho or something, when if it were just you two he may have been apologetic?

I would speak to my friend in private, apologize for reacting in anger, tell them how and why it offends me (again) and ask them nicely to refrain from uttering profanity in my presence or I will have to move out and cut off the friendship.

If he is a good friend, and you explain yourself with charity, then he should respect that his use of language offends you and sincerely try to stop.

He doesn’t need to understand why. If he respects you as a friend he will stop. If he doesn’t, then he won’t. You will have your answer to “has the relationship come to an end?”.

Malia
 
Feanaro's Wife:
I would speak to my friend in private, apologize for reacting in anger, tell them how and why it offends me (again) and ask them nicely to refrain from uttering profanity in my presence or I will have to move out and cut off the friendship.

If he is a good friend, and you explain yourself with charity, then he should respect that his use of language offends you and sincerely try to stop.

He doesn’t need to understand why. If he respects you as a friend he will stop. If he doesn’t, then he won’t. You will have your answer to “has the relationship come to an end?”.

Malia
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I did just that, apologizing for my unholy wrath driven by my own pride, but not for the holy anger at hearing my Lord’s Name profaned, as it is not something that I can end. I asked in a most sincere and delicate way that, while I understand that his swearing is a reflexive habit, he please when it becomes conscious, he make every effort to curtail what I see as blasphemy.

He said he will not promise to give any effort. I guess there is my answer. I told him my love for him is unconditional in Christian brotherhood, but true friendship requires sacrificial love. He says I am the one walking away from the friendship. I hope someday, he sees otherwise.

May my suffering at the loss of a friendship for the love of the Name of Jesus take on redemptive value for the friend lost, please God, be he a soul gained in that most precious Name that is above all other names.

Please pray for him. His name is Michael.
 
I had the same problem with a friend of mine. He’s been a friend since the 6th grade and we were even roommates in college. He has a bad habit (doesnt realize this of course) of saying “GD it.” It bothered me a little when we lived together but as my faith got stronger it really bothered me. Recently, he and I were in a car together and he said and and I asked him if he wouldn’t say it around me anymore. He said something like “Ok, I’ll try to, but I’m going to slip up.” So every time he said it I’d give him a look, and he’d realize what he had just said.

If you want this friend to stop saying that, keep on him. No matter how angry he gets. You need to be consistant. He’ll get so fed up with you saying something to him, or giving him a look that he’ll learn not to say it around you anymore.
 
Well SweetChuck, I am sorry that you lost a friend, but I am proud of your stand against his continued lack of remorse for offending you and the Holy Name of our Lord. Bless you for your courage and your commitment to our Lord. I am sure that the suffering that you endure will be used in the redemptive manner you requested. Kick the dust from your sandals and go about your days praising the Lord. Good will come from your pain!

God Bless you!
 
I don’t think you mentioned the nature of this roommate relationship. If you are both joint tennants on an apartment lease you may not have many options other than putting up with it or moving out when your lease is up.

If you are roommates in a school dormatory you might request a change of room assignment.
 
Joseph Bilodeau:
I don’t think you mentioned the nature of this roommate relationship. If you are both joint tennants on an apartment lease you may not have many options other than putting up with it or moving out when your lease is up.

If you are roommates in a school dormatory you might request a change of room assignment.
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Well, we’re both in our mid-20s on an apartment lease. The good thing is that the lease is up at the end of August and I’m moving out then. But until then, I don’t really have the option of leaving.

Thanks to everyone for your advice. God bless you all!
 
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