Rosary prayer not answered - why not?

[AIC]

Before I ask my question, I feel it is worth pointing out that I have only been praying the rosary on a daily basis for about 3 weeks.

Here is the situation; my wife (not a catholic…or even a real believer though baptised in the protestant faith) and I have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. For a long time, we have wanted to have a second child. It has proved very difficult, however, for my wife to get pregnant again. Eventually, she became pregnant but miscarried after 7 weeks. She then become pregnant again but then miscarried after 8 weeks. When she became pregnant again a few weeks ago, we were thrilled but naturally cautious.

Separately, I started saying the rosary on a daily basis. When my wife started having bleeding, I included in my rosary prayer a prayer that this pregnancy would work out. The petition seemed to work and all seemed fine. A few days later, I included a petition that my wife would be given the gift of faith and believe in Jesus and become a Catholic.

This morning, my wife learned that she had had a miscarriage, the third in a row. We are both heartbroken. I am now wondering why my rosary prayer did not work (I understand one of the promises to be that anything asked for will be granted). What has happened today will not change my faith one iota or stop me saying the rosary; I would like to hear any ideas, however, as to why my petition was not granted. My second petition (that my wife accepts Jesus as her saviour ) is more important that the first, but I had hoped that being granted the first would have led to the second.

 

[jrabs]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss and disappointment.

God listens and hears. He cannot make your wife listen to Him, though. He can work on softening her heart. Please remember that your wife must agree in her heart to accept Him - it is not up to God.

This is a process.

Sometimes God needs to work out His plan over the course of time - 3 weeks is not a whole lot. I realize to you it is an intense timeframe, but God does not work on demand.

Hang in there and be vigilent - be faithful in prayer. Know in your heart that He is working, but that your job is to trust. It is very hard to just trust. Do not give up after 3 weeks and do not give in to despair. Just keep on praying.

 

[Lisa44]

Before I ask my question, I feel it is worth pointing out that I have only been praying the rosary on a daily basis for about 3 weeks.

Here is the situation; my wife (not a catholic…or even a real believer though baptised in the protestant faith) and I have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. For a long time, we have wanted to have a second child. It has proved very difficult, however, for my wife to get pregnant again. Eventually, she became pregnant but miscarried after 7 weeks. She then become pregnant again but then miscarried after 8 weeks. When she became pregnant again a few weeks ago, we were thrilled but naturally cautious.

Separately, I started saying the rosary on a daily basis. When my wife started having bleeding, I included in my rosary prayer a prayer that this pregnancy would work out. The petition seemed to work and all seemed fine. A few days later, I included a petition that my wife would be given the gift of faith and believe in Jesus and become a Catholic.

This morning, my wife learned that she had had a miscarriage, the third in a row. We are both heartbroken. I am now wondering why my rosary prayer did not work (I understand one of the promises to be that anything asked for will be granted). What has happened today will not change my faith one iota or stop me saying the rosary; I would like to hear any ideas, however, as to why my petition was not granted. My second petition (that my wife accepts Jesus as her saviour ) is more important that the first, but I had hoped that being granted the first would have led to the second.

Hi
I do feel for both of you, and I am very sorry you are experiencing that pain of not being able to have another baby but you do have one child right! That’s one more than I have.

I can’t give you an answer. I know that after I started praying the rosary I lost someone very beloved to me and although I prayed for them to live, even for one more day so that I would have a chance to say ‘good-bye’, they didn’t.

It did make me not want to say the rosary for awhile. Like you I expected my friend to live. I don’t know why they die but I can only guess that its part of God’s plan.

Death is a very hard thing to accept and deal with. I have to believe that we will be reunited someday, and that this life is a trial. Just do what you have to do, and be as faithful as you can. Keep looking for God even when God seems to have turned his back on you. Our little lives are covered in darkness and so faith is all we have. Just know that after this ‘valley of tears’ we will have peace if we work hard now. And keep working hard and give yourself a pat on the back. Its a hard road.

I’ve gone back to saying the Rosary because I really believe that Mary wants us to pray the rosary and she is there supporting us even though it doesn’t always seem that way. We just can’t see the whole picture, just a little part of it so therefore we don’t know the ultimate reason for everything that happens.

 

[Madzamboni]

Those that I see come to faith often say the same line - “Too many coincidences, it has to be God speaking to me”. Sometimes loudly, sometimes subtle, sometimes you don’t even know he is working with you.

But in every case, it works on God’s time - because only he knows what series of events need to happen to open that “tumbler lock” within your soul to come closer to him and understand. All along the way, comes free will - speeding and slowing the process.

But it is always a process.

Why this happened, no one could know - but it happened for a reason, maybe to help you or your wife come to a better understanding. Maybe to help you feel this pain so you can relate an help another later in life. It could be 100 different reasons.

But have confidence that God is watching over you and working in ways you can’t see just yet.

But you have another tool - I would also ask the intercession of St. Gerard, the Patron Saint of Expectant Mothers. He is a VERY powerful intercessor. Not only has he touched my own life - but I have heard MANY stories from those in the Baptism class I teach. From the infertile getting pregnant to confirmed single births turning into twins.

Details on St Gerard
saintgerard.com/

EC Rosaries and Gifts
I purchased a chaplet from this lady for me, my wife, and the grandmothers.
ecrosaries.com/site/601007/product/200-3722635

Finally, something that our OB told us immediately upon finding out we were pregnant with our second child. “Keep in mind, that you automatically have a 25% chance of losing the baby just because this is how nature works - it is nothing we will do by mistake”. That is why most doctors don’t even run tests for infertility until you have had 3-4 miscarriages. In my sister-in-laws case, after 4 miscarriages (she could get pregnant easily, just not hold to term) - she discovered she needed regular shots during pregnancy which allowed her to have two children.

Sorry, I know this is a lot of information to throw at you, but only my two cents. I will be praying for you.

 

[The_Catechumen]

I am truly very sorry for your loss.

We can all find encouragement in your example of prayer through trouble. I’ll be the first to admit that my own faith and knowledge is only beginning, so I offer what wisdom I have with a grain of salt: if I’m wrong, then I ask the community to please correct me and I’ll live up to it. I believe that our prayers are not answered on a quid pro quo basis; that is to say that prayer does not automatically lead to desired earthly consequences on the time frame of our choosing. Perhaps it is the will of God to place these tests on you, in order to test your will or to provide witness to your wife. “Thy Will be done” could be an important statement to remember, because the reward for our faith lies not here but in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Nevertheless, I find your steadfast prayer admirable, especially in these dark times. I myself pray for the intercession of my Patroness, Mater Dolorosa, Our Lady of Sorrows. Know that the Blessed Virgin Mary suffered as we suffer, and that our all our pains are given up to Jesus Christ.
Luke 2:43-45:

And having fulfilled the days, when they returned, the Child Jesus remained in Jerusalem; and His parents knew it not. And thinking that he was in the company, they came a day’s journey, and sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And not finding Him, they returned into Jerusalem, seeking Him.

The Gospel bears witness to Mary’s loss, both in the Temple but also at Calvary. I encourage you to continue your Rosary, praying most of all for an increase in faith, not only for yourself and your wife, but for all of humanity. Having the empathy of Our Lady of Sorrows will not only bring you closer to God but also to reconciling and resolving your loss.

You will be in my devotions today, brother.

 

[thistle]

Before I ask my question, I feel it is worth pointing out that I have only been praying the rosary on a daily basis for about 3 weeks.

Here is the situation; my wife (not a catholic…or even a real believer though baptised in the protestant faith) and I have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. For a long time, we have wanted to have a second child. It has proved very difficult, however, for my wife to get pregnant again. Eventually, she became pregnant but miscarried after 7 weeks. She then become pregnant again but then miscarried after 8 weeks. When she became pregnant again a few weeks ago, we were thrilled but naturally cautious.

Separately, I started saying the rosary on a daily basis. When my wife started having bleeding, I included in my rosary prayer a prayer that this pregnancy would work out. The petition seemed to work and all seemed fine. A few days later, I included a petition that my wife would be given the gift of faith and believe in Jesus and become a Catholic.

This morning, my wife learned that she had had a miscarriage, the third in a row. We are both heartbroken. I am now wondering why my rosary prayer did not work (I understand one of the promises to be that anything asked for will be granted). What has happened today will not change my faith one iota or stop me saying the rosary; I would like to hear any ideas, however, as to why my petition was not granted. My second petition (that my wife accepts Jesus as her saviour ) is more important that the first, but I had hoped that being granted the first would have led to the second.

I was a born and brought up Methodist when I married my Catholic wife.
She prayed daily for 10 years for my conversion and it worked. God answered her prayers and I became a Catholic.
St Monica, the mother of St Augustine prayed for 25 years for his conversion.
You cannot force God’s hand.

 

[requieroveritas]

Thistle said it most clearly here:

I was a born and brought up Methodist when I married my Catholic wife.
She prayed daily for 10 years for my conversion and it worked. God answered her prayers and I became a Catholic.
St Monica, the mother of St Augustine prayed for 25 years for his conversion.
You cannot force God’s hand.

I have been praying for my wife’s conversion for about a year now. She was baptized a catholic at this Easter Vigil just past, but we cannot know the mind of God. " In His thoughts He is most hidden." We cannot assume that just because we do not see a result from our prayer in short order, that it means that the Almighty is ignoring us. Many, as Thistle pointed out have prayed for years, some for a lifetime.

Here is another thought; our suffering and pain are in a way, much like prayer, as God takes our pain and uses it for the good of others as well as ourselves. Although, in our pain, we cannot see this, God has used our pain to “balance the scales” so to speak.

 

[AIC]

Thank you all so much for your responses; they are greatly appreciated, and I recognize a lot of wisdom therein. I will certainly continue to pray the rosary daily and ask for my wife’s conversion.

 

[theotikos]

Before I ask my question, I feel it is worth pointing out that I have only been praying the rosary on a daily basis for about 3 weeks.

Here is the situation; my wife (not a catholic…or even a real believer though baptised in the protestant faith) and I have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. For a long time, we have wanted to have a second child. It has proved very difficult, however, for my wife to get pregnant again. Eventually, she became pregnant but miscarried after 7 weeks. She then become pregnant again but then miscarried after 8 weeks. When she became pregnant again a few weeks ago, we were thrilled but naturally cautious.

Separately, I started saying the rosary on a daily basis. When my wife started having bleeding, I included in my rosary prayer a prayer that this pregnancy would work out. The petition seemed to work and all seemed fine. A few days later, I included a petition that my wife would be given the gift of faith and believe in Jesus and become a Catholic.

This morning, my wife learned that she had had a miscarriage, the third in a row. We are both heartbroken. I am now wondering why my rosary prayer did not work (I understand one of the promises to be that anything asked for will be granted). What has happened today will not change my faith one iota or stop me saying the rosary; I would like to hear any ideas, however, as to why my petition was not granted. My second petition (that my wife accepts Jesus as her saviour ) is more important that the first, but I had hoped that being granted the first would have led to the second.

How can anyone know why your prayer was not the way you wanted it? We can guess but it will just be like Job’s friends telling Job why he lost his wife, money, health, etc. In the end God was not pleased with what they said on His behalf and had Job make a burnt offering on their behalf to forgive them. So basically I’m not even going to try to answer that one. All I can say is keep praying. Someone told me that God’s time is not our time, and His time is always the best time. I hope you understand what that means. Just don’t be discouraged or lose heart. When your discouraged, pray for strength and hope to persevere. And that’s wonderful your praying for your wife’s conversion. St. Monica converted her son, St. Augustine after years of prayers. Try praying a devotion to her. Personally, I’m not persistent when praying to saints, yet some are able.

 

[AIC]

How can anyone know why your prayer was not the way you wanted it? We can guess but it will just be like Job’s friends telling Job why he lost his wife, money, health, etc. In the end God was not pleased with what they said on His behalf and had Job make a burnt offering on their behalf to forgive them. So basically I’m not even going to try to answer that one. All I can say is keep praying. Someone told me that God’s time is not our time, and His time is always the best time. I hope you understand what that means. Just don’t be discouraged or lose heart. When your discouraged, pray for strength and hope to persevere. And that’s wonderful your praying for your wife’s conversion. St. Monica converted her son, St. Augustine after years of prayers. Try praying a devotion to her. Personally, I’m not persistent when praying to saints, yet some are able.

Co-incidence or not, but Job was on my mind a lot yesterday and when I opened my bible at random yesterday evening, it opened at the very last page of Job