Rubbing salt in wound

  • Thread starter Thread starter LorilopezInneed
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I have no good answers except to say that neither of you seem to be well-adjusted adults. Not trying to be a jerk here, just blunt and honest. You ask how you can trust him and at the same time, a few days ago you admitted here that he has OCD and you’ve cheated on him.

The problem is far, far from one-sided and you need to recognize that. That’s the best I can do.
 
I don’t know if your husband has ADHD or is just scatter-brained, but I am guessing that the strategies that couples need to use when one spouse has ADHD could help you. This is particularly true since people with ADHD often marry a spouse who is more responsible and more organized than the average person, sometimes extremely so. What these couples have to learn in order to make the most of their complementary natures instead of killing each other could help you and your husband. I think it is worth a try.

See if your library has *Married to Distraction: Restoring Intimacy and Strengthening Your Marriage in an Age of Interruption *by Edward M. Hallowell M.D., Sue Hallowell and Melissa Orlov and/or *The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps *by Melissa Orlov.

Also, the next time you seek marriage counselling, consider looking for someone who specializes in ADHD or “organizationally mismatched” couples. What other couples have taught that therapist could help you get to some good solutions much more quickly.
 
The_Bucket said:
I have no good answers except to say that neither of you seem to be well-adjusted adults. Not trying to be a jerk here, just blunt and honest. You ask how you can trust him and at the same time, a few days ago you admitted here that he has OCD and you’ve cheated on him.

The problem is far, far from one-sided and you need to recognize that. That’s the best I can do.
Click to expand...
Even if entirely true, it is besides the point whose “fault” this kind of problem is. Marital problems are not best-solved by correctly assessing blame. Rather, it is better to look at problems the way air-safety people do, where the modes of crashing are analyzed and the routines of flight execution are re-ordered to put fail-safes with those in mind. After all, I think the OP is primarily interested in preventing future “crashes”, whatever that takes.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top