Russian Brides OK?

[Madaglan]

Hey, I’m just wondering what the Catholic Church thinks about those Russian Bride services. I’m not talking about the ones in which you get a mail-order bride, but the ones in which the women supposedly are looking for men in Western Europe or America for a better life.

I’ve looked at some of the pages, and a lot of them seem very well educated. I just wonder if they are as sweet in personality as they look. I’ve heard that they’re different from Western women. Many of them are Orthodox, too, so they’re not really a whole lot different in outward appearance from Roman Catholics. What do you think? Would it be wrong for a guy to get a bride through one of these services?

 

[AirForceMama]

I think if you meet the gal, you fall in love, and THEN get married, is no different that any of the singles networks here in the US. Make sure, though, that she is completly on board with your Roman Catholic traditions, and that she truly loves you and is not just using you for a “better life”.

 

[maendem]

Madaglan:

Hey, I’m just wondering what the Catholic Church thinks about those Russian Bride services. I’m not talking about the ones in which you get a mail-order bride, but the ones in which the women supposedly are looking for men in Western Europe or America for a better life.

I’ve looked at some of the pages, and a lot of them seem very well educated. I just wonder if they are as sweet in personality as they look. I’ve heard that they’re different from Western women. Many of them are Orthodox, too, so they’re not really a whole lot different in outward appearance from Roman Catholics. What do you think? Would it be wrong for a guy to get a bride through one of these services?

Dear Magdalen,

I first thought your post was a joke, but I’m starting to feel, in horror, that it’s not.

Mag-you don’t “get” a bride. And your last paragraph sounds like you’re talking about puppies or something.

You’ve shared that you’re lonely and would really like a girlfriend, but please don’t fall in desperation for the scam-ridden and red-tape legal nightmare (and false promises) of a mail-order agency just because you’re feeling a little desperate. And yes, what you describe is a mail-order agency; they’re just marketed in slightly more PC terms these days.

Do you really think a life-long sacramental partner can be picked out of a glossy magazine like a tube of toothpaste?

 

[jrabs]

Wow - do you think God is directing you towards that direction? If not, then maybe it is not His will that you find a bride on your own.

Sit back and trust that God will bring you someone in His time. If He wants you to select a bride this way, then He will keep nudging you and He will make it happen.

But trust me when I say that if you select a wife that is not God’s will, you will have a miserable life of strife and toil. I had 10 years of misery because I picked who I wanted.

Just wait, pray

 

[ppcpilot]

I do have a friend that met a Russian gal like that. She’s very pretty. I’m not sure if they are Catholic or not, but they have like three kids, and I don’t think she has any want to divorce him for money, etc…I think that they love each other.

 

[Bobby_Jim]

Russian brides? sounds like a scam to me…

Believe it or not, I know some other Catholics in Lancaster, PA. Of course, the one young lady I know met her husband when she went away to school.

Good luck, and don’t despair. I spent probably 12 or 13 years from the time I was in high school being “good friends” with one girl or another who I was really interested in dating, but who only saw me as a friend. And then, almost on a lark, I went out on a date with a young lady whom I had known for a couple years, but hadn’t considered dating - she actually asked me out, and we had a really nice time, and almost 2 years later, we were engaged. It was a qualitatively different experience from all of the times I thought I had been “in love”, pining away after someone. But I definitely think that, by keeping me single and unattached for so long, God was protecting me and preparing me to meet the woman he had intended for me. And the same goes for her - she had actually spent a number of years discerning whether she had a call to religious life. In the end, she determined no. But that process may have been God’s way of keeping her and preparing her for meeting me. So even though being lonely really hurts, try to trust that God has a purpose in mind for it.

 

[JW10631]

It does not matter where you meet your wife, or where she comes from. My wife is from Colombia. She was enrolled in one of the “introduction services” anyone can find on the Internet. My best friend met her in 1998 and arranged for us to contact each other. We met Easter Weekend in 2000 in Miami, without using the service. We have been married for more than two years. It helped that my wife spoke good English when we met.

You MUST be careful. Many women from Russia and Ukraine are very poor and are looking for a visa to get out of their situation. They read, write and speak a language that does not use the Latin alphabet. The cultural adjustment is huge and painful.

Many of these things apply for the Latinas. The websites have photos of incredibly good looking women. They offer tour packages and slick photos and promise a lot.

The process of obtaining a fiancee visa is time consuming and expensive. Should you go this route, you must prove your financial ability to support another person for a considerable time. You must also marry within three months of the fiancee’s arrival or she must leave the country.

Think about it - long and hard.