S
Shinobu
Guest
My parents got a divorce in 1998. Since then I have lived with my Dad and my Sister eventually moved in with my Father also. My Sister was just a kid then and she has since grown up and is now 16. I remember when she was a kid and it saddens me how she is becoming, I tried to act more like a mom to her since we don’t have a mother anymore. The mother we had had 2 affairs (that we knew of) and married the one man and moved away. It was a really messy divorce and I thank God that it’s over.
I am upset because I don’t feel my Father plays enough of an active role in my Sisters life and because of this my Sister is growing up not having learned responsibility, respect or a healthy sense of independence. My Sister cusses to me to her Father and to her Grandparents. She will say things to my Dad, things like “You are ugly” or “You are stupid” ect. I understand things happen around this age, however I recall not cussing to my parents and backtalking them resulted in me being punished. My own Dad allowed my Sister, right in front of him, to call me quite a number of lewd names. It really hurt me that he did not reprimand her. It also makes me feel sad my Sister does not have respect for herself, she dresses in revealing clothing, I try to tell her she needs to becareful because she is not aware of the image she is sending out, but she just tells me to “Shut up, you aren’t my mother”. She has had various boyfriends, she has already kissed most of her boyfriends (and not a gentle peck on the cheek), with her current boyfriend (who she has been with for a few months) she acts like she is married. He will come here and sit on the couch with her kissing her and watching MTV most of the time, she used to lie in her bed with him (with their clothes on, I would check in on them), I did not like this behavior at all, but my Dad said nothing about it, so I was kinda powerless to do anything, since his authority is above mine. My Dad lets her go out with him, they walk to get something to eat, which I don’t agree with either, because that’s dangerous. She has voiced her opinion before that she does want to have sex. Which scares me completely.
I have talked to my Dad about this before and he said that she “needs her freedom, and that when he was that old he would go out with his friends” I would then tell him that “When he was that age he would also throw apples and ketchup packets at cars” (based on stories he has told me of his younger days). He just goes on to say that that is pretty much growing up and that you shouldn’t watch them all the time. My fear is he is not watching her enough. You can’t just let a child go wherever and say that you are “giving them freedom” that’s ignorant and laziness as a parent. If you love your child and want to play an active role, you want to watch them and care for them.
I just want my Sister to have better respect for herself, I truly believe she does not understand what she is getting herself into. She goes to Church but I don’t believe she is truly taking in the words of the Priest and of the Bible.
I apologize for the length post. My question is, is it wrong of me to think this way, if not what can I do since my Dads authority is over mine? I just don’t know what to do and me and my Grandmother share the same opinions on much of this.
Thank you
I am upset because I don’t feel my Father plays enough of an active role in my Sisters life and because of this my Sister is growing up not having learned responsibility, respect or a healthy sense of independence. My Sister cusses to me to her Father and to her Grandparents. She will say things to my Dad, things like “You are ugly” or “You are stupid” ect. I understand things happen around this age, however I recall not cussing to my parents and backtalking them resulted in me being punished. My own Dad allowed my Sister, right in front of him, to call me quite a number of lewd names. It really hurt me that he did not reprimand her. It also makes me feel sad my Sister does not have respect for herself, she dresses in revealing clothing, I try to tell her she needs to becareful because she is not aware of the image she is sending out, but she just tells me to “Shut up, you aren’t my mother”. She has had various boyfriends, she has already kissed most of her boyfriends (and not a gentle peck on the cheek), with her current boyfriend (who she has been with for a few months) she acts like she is married. He will come here and sit on the couch with her kissing her and watching MTV most of the time, she used to lie in her bed with him (with their clothes on, I would check in on them), I did not like this behavior at all, but my Dad said nothing about it, so I was kinda powerless to do anything, since his authority is above mine. My Dad lets her go out with him, they walk to get something to eat, which I don’t agree with either, because that’s dangerous. She has voiced her opinion before that she does want to have sex. Which scares me completely.
I have talked to my Dad about this before and he said that she “needs her freedom, and that when he was that old he would go out with his friends” I would then tell him that “When he was that age he would also throw apples and ketchup packets at cars” (based on stories he has told me of his younger days). He just goes on to say that that is pretty much growing up and that you shouldn’t watch them all the time. My fear is he is not watching her enough. You can’t just let a child go wherever and say that you are “giving them freedom” that’s ignorant and laziness as a parent. If you love your child and want to play an active role, you want to watch them and care for them.
I just want my Sister to have better respect for herself, I truly believe she does not understand what she is getting herself into. She goes to Church but I don’t believe she is truly taking in the words of the Priest and of the Bible.
I apologize for the length post. My question is, is it wrong of me to think this way, if not what can I do since my Dads authority is over mine? I just don’t know what to do and me and my Grandmother share the same opinions on much of this.
Thank you