'His anguished Heart yearned for comfort. Gently he rose to his feet, took a few staggering steps. He approached his disciples; they at least were his friends, his confidants, they would understand and share his pain . . . .
'He found them deep in sleep. How lonely and abandoned he suddenly felt. ‘Simon, art thou sleeping?’ he says softly to Peter. ‘Thou who didst say that thou wouldst follow me unto death.’
'He turned to the others: ‘Had you no strength to watch with me even for an hour?’ Once more he forgot his own sufferings and thought of them. ‘Watch and pray that you may not fall into temptation.’
'He seems to be saying: ‘If ye have forgotten me so soon, I who wrestle and suffer, at least in your own interest watch and pray!’
'But they, intoxicated with sleep, hardly heard him.
'O, my Jesus, how many generous souls, touched by thy complaints, keep thee company in the Garden of Olives, sharing thy bitterness and thy mortal fear! How many hearts down the ages have generously replied to thy appeal! May they console thee and, sharing thy distress, operate in thy work of salvation! May I myself be counted among their number and comfort thee, be it but a little, O my Jesus!
'Jesus returned to his place of prayer and another picture even more terrible rose before his eyes. All our sins in their least detail filed past him. He saw the extreme vulgarity of those who commit them. He knew to what extent they outraged the divine Majesty. He saw all the infamies, all the obscenities, all the blasphemies which sully hearts and ups created to sing the praises of God. He saw the sacrileges which dishonour priests and the faithful. He saw the monstrous abuse of the sacraments, which He had introduced for our salvation and which can become the cause of our damnation.
'He had to don all this foetid muck of human corruption. He had to present himself thus before the sanctity of his Father in Heaven. He had to expiate each sin separately and render to his Father all its stolen glory. To save the sinner He has to descend into the mire.
'But this did not daunt him. Like a monstrous wave the mud enveloped and submerged him. Now he stood before his Father, God of Justice. He, the Holy of Holies, bowed beneath the weight of the sins, in the image of sinners. Who could plumb his horror and utter repugnance? This gulp of disgust, that hideous nausea!
'Having taken everything upon himself without exception, he was crushed by the appalling burden and groaned under the weight of Divine Justice, face to face with his Father, who had allowed his Son to offer himself as a victim for the sins of the world, and to become like ‘an accursed one.’
'His purity shuddered before this infamous burden, but at the same time he saw outraged Justice, the sinner condemned . . . . . . Two forces, two loves conflicting in his heart. Outraged Justice was the victor. But what an infinitely pitiful sight! This man charged with all our blemishes. He the essential Sanctity, outwardly resembling the criminals. He trembled like a leaf . . . . .