Scaring the unbelievers?

[Faithdancer]

But the point of praying for someone is just to pray for them, is it not? There’s no need to tell a person. If you are trying to help your friend in some way about something specific he/she is going thru, just do the prayer–no need to tell the friend about it, right?

For a Christian, it is deeply caring to pray for someone. Letting another know that they are in your prayers may not be necessary, but it does inform them that you care, on a very personal level.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

You are insulting them.
They dont need anybody.
So they do not need God.
So you make them feel weak…

I don’t see it this way at all.
It’s not how any atheists I’ve known have described it, anyway.

I think it has more to do with the “otherness” of what you are saying…as if you are speaking to them in a different language/culture.
For example, if a Buddhist said to you “I will meditate about you”…or a Jewish person said “One day, when the Messiah finally arrives…” or a Muslim said to you, “I will pray to Muhammad for you…” these things might make you feel a little uncomfortable because they are not of your ilk.

But the point of praying for someone is just to pray for them, is it not?
There’s no need to tell a person.

If you are trying to help your friend in some way about something specific he/she is going thru, just do the prayer–no need to tell the friend about it, right?

I think between the two of you, the solution is self-evident if you throw in the notion that what is thought, imagined, or dreamed – and the opposites and other variations of every aspect of all of it – it already in the spirit world for all eternity, alpha and omega.

First of all it depends on the context. if an atheist goes to a funeral and someone says God bless him, then there is no right answer other than “thank you,” with optional “and with you as well,” or if you want to go stealth you could say, “thank you, and I also wish you the best.” If you can get an atheist to equate that “bless you” and “wish you the best” are the same messages, they will have thrown a tether cord to the Church, and have begun their own journey toward her. Note the strategic use of the word “also.” Kind of like when Jesus says, "again (also) it says … " instead of "you’re wrong what it really says is … " is not an arbitrary way to put that into words. This unites rather than divides. So here’s the funny part. If you look at an atheist just right, you will see a sinner eagerly pursuing the Eucharist. They already do in spirit, whether they do in physical form or not is irrelevant to God.

Prayers are no more or less real than concrete, or the idea of “red,” kittens and tiddlywinks, apple pie, or something in a dream.

So that said, we can meet the minimal requirements love can get by with, by simply saying, “thank you for the company, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” While at the same time, in your mind, you may think, "dude, if you only knew and felt the way I think and feel, for 10 seconds you would believe you’re already in the kingdom.

In fact, if you don’t mind me nosing into your business, I’ll go ahead and pray for you. If you like it, thank you is nice but optional. If you don’t like it, thank you is also nice but optional, as well as other commentary you may will to add, and you are welcome to consider it as if I never said it. In fact let me quit telling you what to do … I’ll go to a third party… which would be, wouldn’t you know it, another prayer? Oh well let’s consolidate every possible convolution of what we request so we can get on with life. My sugggestion is that I type the following:

Lord, thank you for guiding my friend by Your Spirit; I wish him anything he wants of mine that You can provide for him. I am at Your service. Amen

Alan

 

[Student09]

Well, I always smile when I say it. I certainly don’t realistically expect anyone to convert to Christianity simply because I tell them “I’ll pray for you.” And I wouldn’t say it to a stranger, only to someone I liked, and therefore cared about.

Praying for someone’s conversion could be conceived as pressure…or it could be taken as a real concern for another’s happiness and spiritual well-being. Is it possible that your friends and family saw unhappiness in you, as an agnostic, and it hurt them to see that? I know that I wasn’t as happy and I was spiritually floundering before I returned to the Church.

That being said, and on another note- if we do not witness our faith in word and deed, are we completely fulfilling our apostolate as Christians?

Praying for someone’s conversion is an excellent thing to do. Telling the person that you are praying for their conversion is, in my opinion, not excellent. Whether or not their reasons for being bothered by this information are “good” reasons, you risk actually alienating them further from the Church, especially if they have bad associations with cults or with family members trying to convert them (and some do). How you think you would feel in their situation is irrelevant. Whether you have good intentions in telling them this is also irrelevant; what is relevant is the effect on the person, and whether it is likely to draw them to God or alienate them. Since that person knowing that you are praying for them to convert does not make your prayers more effective, and may actually have an adverse effect, ask yourself why you feel the need to tell them this? Could it be just a little self-serving? Maybe? If not, forgive me for suggesting it.

There are plenty of other ways to witness. Living a holy life. Performing acts of mercy. Answering questions about the faith if they approach you. On an extreme level, dying for the faith. Telling someone you are praying for their conversion is not witnessing.

I was converted by the grace of God in my life, and by the examples of holy Catholics I met who never told me that they were praying for me for any reason, who waited for me to show interest in the faith. If you want to convert your loved ones, pray for them in silence, make sacrifices for them in silence, and most of all, become a saint.

 

[Student09]

I guess I wouldn’t mind being meditated about…kind of flattering, actually, so long as it doesn’t involve stalking!

That’s fine, but Buddhists don’t meditate about other people. That would not mean anything in a Buddhist context. They might pray for you, though.

 

[Faithdancer]

To respond to a couple of posts at once…

Should one persist in telling people that one will pray for them, if it causes them distress? Of course not, and I haven’t. Nor would I say so even once to a stranger, unless I knew that stranger was receptive, i.e. a Brother or Sister in Christ, in which case, they wouldn’t really be a stranger.

Is telling someone that you will pray for them a form of witnessing? Here is the Free Online Dictionary definition of witnessing, as it pertains to religion:
“One who publicly affirms religious faith.”
the Merriam -Webster Free Online Dictionary definition is:
“public affirmation by word or example of usually religious faith or conviction”
and the Oxford Online Dictionary refers to religious witnessing as:
“open profession of one’s religious faith through words or actions:”

In fact, I think that telling someone you will pray for them is a relatively non-aggressive form of witnessing. You are publicly affirming your faith, which does qualify it as witnessing, and if they are not receptive or again, it makes them uncomfortable, you should not persist.

Living a saintly life and influencing those in your immediate circle is wonderful, and for many, this is all they will ever be comfortable doing, or able to do because of life circumstances- family, job, etc. etc. I believe in St. Josemaria’s teachings about sanctifying one’s secular life, it is a beautiful philosophy. However, I think that those who can do more, who are called to actively evangelize, should, if that is their charism. It doesn’t make them holier, or better Christians, in my opinion, but if they know they have the charism and don’t do their best to fulfill it, seeing as charisms are a gift from God, then I believe that is a failing.